The main cause of female loneliness Bashny.Net

Many single women feel unhappy, sometimes victims of circumstances. They consider themselves failures, unable to be happy. But how do they know that they are unhappy losers? As there is such a perception of themselves?

The main reason is the expectations of society. About what it meant to be a woman, told from all sides. The pressure on the woman to provide the media and society in General. Psychologists, training, training programs, tells what to do to become a "proper" "real" woman. Assumes that correct and true is not lonely.





Why society is not satisfied with a single woman?Society makes a woman a lot of requirements.

Society wants her to be "right" and imposes on the woman the belief that to be alone means to be inferior and weak that it is indecent and humiliating.

To society "the right woman" is, basically, one serving the man.

Men also have their own requirements, for example, "the right man" – one that earns a lot of money.

Men are too easy with this, but now we are talking about women.

To be "correct" — it means to be kind, affectionate, supporting and inspiring man Muse, fluttering fairy, attractive, sexy, young, have kids, successful job, a nice house, to be caring, receiving all a successful mother, consummate homemaker, creative, into all trades master having a fashion hobby, passionate, emotional, balanced, calm, wise, and of course – to be married.

There are many explanations and guidance about what we need to do to have everything you need for quality women. Very popular trainings that promise to give a woman all at the same time that it becomes "normal" and received the approval of society.

It is expected that a single woman would have to suffer to hunt for a man to work on ourselves to not to be lonely, and will find happiness in a relationship. The Internet is full of articles, addressed to "unhappy, angry, desperate, stupid, inferior" to single women, opening their eyes to what is wrong with them and what are their mistakes. Because they are alone.

Society as a whole and each of us individually customize woman to fit their distorted standards of beauty, perfection and functionality. This way women and reflects the flawed attitudes.

Not only the Patriarchal men's warehouse tell women what they should be. Such men can still be understood, it is advantageous to impose on the woman the role of an object that you can use. But women themselves support this position in the hope to improve the image and to obtain the approval of the society, breaking themselves and earning neuroses.

The woman, after the society determines its value, is she married, does she have relations if she has children. If a woman is not married and/or she has no relations, she considers herself inferior, not successful, not happy.

There are two parallel existing realities. The first is the way the "right" women, and the second is a real person that this image is not the same.

The reality, meanwhile, is different: a woman may not be married, because she is for that psychologically not ready or because you don't see in his immediate environment, who would like to create a family, or because she's gone through a painful breakup — the reasons can be different.

But women often do not accept yourself to it. The majority, on the contrary, trying to squeeze themselves into the framework of "the right way", themselves believe in it. When a woman identificeret themselves with this image, it loses this.

Faith in the right way is a collective agreement that a woman is an object, a means, a function with a set of required options.

Each woman is responsible for your acceptance of this humiliating to human dignity "need" to fit under the standards focused only on the set of qualities necessary for life in a couple, birth of children, service to man and child.

Little girls absorb from childhood is a collective agreement. The idea that the girl is ugly, if it does not have the looks of a supermodel, she's not complete if does not marry, not bear children if she divorced, alone is installed, the formation of which everyone participates. Then the installation of these girls carry with them into the adult world. Compare yourself with a beautiful picture to match stringent standards and requirements is an easy way to earn a neurosis, depression and many diseases.

It is sad when a woman wants to find a man and marry him only because he feels his inferiority, can't be yourself.





The inflection in the other side ofthe strong, active women imposing absurd standards is a protest. They are protected from violations of their borders. They are frustrating when they are not interested in how people, individuals, but as "features", all "options" they have are working properly (if they look and earn, realize themselves in the profession, whether several times a year, if they have a husband, a child, and how good they are, fashion if they have a hobby).

A single woman lives in society, from which all the time have to defend themselves and prove their right to be who she is.

There is a protest, denial and rejection of all those values which society turns per charge. The woman says, "normal men", "why do I need it?", "I alone live better", "freedom is more important to me", "why would I want children – not all are required to give birth, I've got my own interests, I don't want to serve anyone", "I have no need to be a housewife and solo entertainer in one person", "I don't want to constantly be "always ready" for men" etc.

It is sad when a woman forces herself to abandon the desire to be loved just because they do not want to comply with imposed by society.

Any woman, single or not, is normal and full in itself.It already exists and has the right to be who she is. She doesn't need to strive for marriage or motherhood to be fulfilling.

She must decide how she will live, will become a mother, a wife, or choose something else. Moreover, there are different periods, and each period of life is valuable in itself.

Among the seemingly innocuous stories about "real, proper" women, advertising, products Secrity toxic stereotypes. They will not change in the near future.

Maybe someday society will look at a woman through a different, more human perspective.

But until that happens, we all will be useful to pay more attention to information that comes to us from the environment and shapes our idea of what we are. It's time to decide whether to believe what is imposed on us whether to allow public opinion to determine full or not.

It's time to stop abuse her, to focus on the external imposed guidelines, wedging myself in the standard way, or to rebel against him, denying myself wanting, forcing yourself to abandon what is really important and valuable.

If there is no desire to create a pair no matter for what reasons, you may want to give yourself time to relax and live for yourself, learn to cope with their fear of loneliness, learn to live independently and to solve their problems, to be more stable in contact with critical environment.

If a single woman wants a relationship, and there are obstacles, she doesn't have to give up your desires. You can learn to overcome obstacles. But not in order to get rid of feelings of inferiority, but because they really want relationships.

If you give yourself more love, warmth, understanding, care, to begin to praise yourself for small achievements and victories, to flourish, to feel own necessity, self-respect and become more alive.

And then there will be the opportunity to meet your potrebnostey your terms without fear not meet the expectations of society. published

Author: Lola Makarova

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: zerkalodushi.org/odinokaya-zhenshhina/