Where does loneliness

 

Why do people divided into the lonely and not lonely?

For many years people plagued by questions:

Why am I alone?

How and why did this happen to me?

Why my attempts to communicate end in failure?





More than 40% of Russians, men and women, young and Mature, feel lonely. Despite the growth of communication via social networks, existential loneliness is growing steadily, and about 30% of the world population suffer from emotional isolation. Under the weight of mental anguish the person attempts to change lifestyle, the search for a solution, but behavioral patterns is again sucked into the whirlpool of alienation and depression. Unfortunately, when "self" is impossible to avoid paradoxical behavior. They work tirelessly to improve ourselves, then give up and bury yourself alive, one day deciding that with them "something not so" and it is impossible to love.

"Experts" suggest

Male non-verbal way to refute the idea that he's "useless and not interesting", and communication will improve. It seems the decision on the surface – not to be alone – just start chatting as if communication is a drug.

Women "find" a man who can handle her inner feelings.

However, to get rid of loneliness, through the growth of contacts does not work. Look for new contacts is all the same what to include headphones with music and disengage from the world.

First, because people can feel lonely while in a wide circle of friends and even family.

Second, lonely people can't just go and someone to meet, socialize, internal barrier holding them back. Even if familiarity will take place — the further development of events is under question.

Loneliness lies in our inner world. The desire to communicate is faced with the fear of other people's opinions. Lonely man always thinks he's not interesting to anyone, think about him something is "wrong", it would be superfluous in the company, rejected. According to lone, in order to establish contacts with the society he should change himself and only then he will be worthy of the relationship. Internal conflict: the need to communicate and the fear of rejection — results in the failure itself.

The problem of rejection comes from childhood

Parents from an early age instilled in the child that the opinion of others before your own. Criticism of the parents leads to the rejection itself, and the constant internal efforts to keep a distance with other people. In order to protect themselves from possible injury, rejection, people seeking solitude. Any emotional communication can cause emotional pain. To be open, on the one hand, it means to enjoy all the delights of human companionship, on the other – at risk to experience emotional pain. So the main reason for loneliness is just a mental conflict.

In the study of loneliness there is often confusion between consequence and cause. The cause of man's loneliness in an internal conflict, not that there were no worthy people. In the process of getting rid of loneliness must begin with the resolution of the internal conflict.

1.Must be able to accept yourself as you are. This is the same as in life, when you become a spectator of the conflict between people trying to get away from him. And feelings visible to others, repel, deter. Attract only those individuals who respect themselves and confident. Love of self is an important factor in building relationships. Only after a person begins to love himself, he meets with the same attitude. Stop to seek out their flaws, and accept yourself in the fullness (advantages and disadvantages).

2.Instead of changing themselves to go change a familiar but ineffective patterns of behavior. If unstick his identity from the performance of, the fear of loneliness disappears. It becomes not important. In the absence of fear disappears, the threat of loneliness.

Where to find the cure for loneliness?

No need to search. The main thing — to understand themselves, to make friends with the inner world. After the onset of mental balance and tranquility, the problem with familiarity and finding friends and loved ones depart. published

Author: Maria Kudryavtseva

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! © Join us at Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki

 

Source: maria-kudryavtseva.ru/%D0%BF%D1%80%D0%B8%D1%87%D0%B8%D0%BD%D1%8B-%D0%BE%D0%B4%D0%B8%D0%BD%D0%BE%D1%87%D0%B5%D1%81%D1%82%D0%B2%D0%B0/