Earlier there was a tradition in Russia: after the wedding the couple came home, on the threshold stood nearby and tried to do as much as possible step. Who came first, what was considered, and was supposed to be the head of the family. Current the newlyweds for the same reasons, trying to bite off a bigger piece when they present bread and salt. In both cases, the custom is humorous, but in every joke there is a joke share, the rest is true...So, young family. We'll see who has a better chance to become a leader. The husband is concerned, as quickly as possible to create the family financial well-being.
Of course, there are professions in which a man and in his youth can earn very decent. However, not all of us dealers and brokers. Hence: stress, running in the evening, humiliation at examining a wife and mother-in-law, his pay through a magnifying glass.
Equipment is entrusted (by the same pathological incompetence) only unskilled work, called “pure male”. To some extent, the helplessness of the husband in the home that no one is trying to eliminate plays into the hands of his wife, as another proof of its indispensability.
Surprisingly, and most are satisfied with their own incompetence at home Affairs. From the point of view of man, he earner. His business — to bring home the money, the rest may take care of the wife. The only thing is for the family, attractive to men — tinkering with the car, which helps him to feel their own importance in the house.
If the wife stays at home with a small child, regards it as injustice. The man lives a full life, and she should be satisfied with four walls and a walk with a stroller. But there is a time to reflect on the shortcomings of her husband. About how dreams don't come true, born before her marriage.
Perhaps the threat of divorce — the most powerful tool that can “break off” any stubborn
(to the lovers of libations, unfortunately, not the case). According to psychologists “stress gap” the most difficult for the young man
. Suicide and drinking bouts, related, more specifically among men with little experience of family life.The initiators of the “young” divorces often are women.
Here's a paradox: to get married, they seek stronger men, and yet more willing to divorce. While they are young, it is easier for them than their former husbands, find a new partner. In addition, if a family has a child, the stress for men is enhanced by the alleged break up with him. The child almost always remains with the mother and she can turn him against his father. And the husband is more flexible. Wife can find new, but your child does not repeat.Another powerful tool for “training” her husband in the early years — sex.
A young woman's sexual feeling is expressed much weaker than men, and more easily interchangeable with other needs. Therefore, as punishment for her husband to make a “sexual fast” — another blow to his ego.
So, the first ten years, women have more chances to become a leader in the family, because in her hands is more of the levers of power
. But it will take several years, and the scenery changes.
Look at the family, already not so young.
My husband increased social status, and, consequently, revenues. It is clear that the estimate is not only his wife but also her rival. The woman by this time is not so young and attractive. Man, on the contrary, becomes finally a man, self-confidence, solidity.
Sexual attraction to wife blunted the force of habit. Want of novelty (in women, the desire for novelty is less pronounced). A sexy women with age grows. And the failure of proximity — is the lever of power men. And as it becomes financially independent from his wife, it is possible to have uncontrolled of money, which you can have fun without spouses.
The children grew up. They seem to be fairer on dad's side. Realizing that the material basis of the family — his income, they have a relationship with him even against the will of the mother is in danger of rupture.
As a result, the possibility of a rupture with the wife depressing Mature man less. Now, losing objective leadership, it can become more flexible. But more often — out of inertia — trying to live as before. In this age dominated by divorces on the initiative of men.Turns out, divorce is “young,” “old” almost inevitable?
And yet there is a solution. It is not necessary from the first years of family life to trying to earn all the money in the world. Having daily stress, a man does not become tolerant to domestic troubles, and with the running, less common is a house that clearly improves family relationships.
Also interesting: pledge of allegiance: I'm with you The conflict in pair: silence is the most destructive weapon
in the early years should a woman try to resist your impulses to power. Then, in the future man, even having the option to swap, out of gratitude will remain faithful and will not leave the family. It will not say resentment, and conscience (of course, if it persists to the age).
And if you can hold the “levers of power family” together, you have real opportunities to celebrate their Golden wedding.published
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©