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"Family thorn" — the inheritance of the generic program
In this article we will focus on the mechanism of inheritance and family programs of displacement, which are not osoznavaya passed down from generation to generation. As there is a thorn 
As an example, I propose to consider the individual, which displaces the emotion which him unpleasant. This arrangement can easily be traced on the example of the emotion of anger that occurs in a child who has not yet learned to manage. He does not know that anger is a normal protective response to an invasion of his boundaries, but because of improper upbringing in families where made to blame the anger, the child starts to be ashamed of that feeling and separate it from yourself.
If the family starts a "black list" of undesirable behavior or negative emotions, which are called "wrong or bad" which exposes the punitive measures, the child is doomed to hiding these emotions not only from others but from yourself.
When you feel these emotions, to not feel "bad", he just closes them and stops them to accept the principle of the ostrich hiding its head in the sand. He becomes kinder, hiding and suppressing their anger, on the contrary, deceiving themselves and others, hiding in the closet, "hard-hitting", he only loses the objectivity of the perception of what is happening in his soul.
If the whole family denies this emotion, the child she is identified with the fear of rejection, to be "not its" in the family (and in the unconscious of every child to be "not ours" by right of belonging to the family as the pack, is a basic fear of loss of security). Nobody wants to be "alien", everyone wants to be "ours" and if not "to be" (because the child lies to himself, upryatyvaya this emotion), then at least to seem so in the eyes of the native environment.
In normal families don't blame the anger, because he's normal and natural. Expressing anger in the family is discharge and it becomes easier. Family quarrels this is the normal dynamics of the relationship between family members and children need to explain and teach to Express this emotion without displacement.
And if the child is receiving yourself and your feelings will openly Express that he is not satisfied, then do not accept secretive and will hide his irritation. Eventually he will get used to ignore your anger enough that you'd stop to notice it in yourself, believing that it does not exist.
But the world is arranged so that the mirror law of return integrity, it will send all the possibilities to a man in the face with its detached part, finally saw it. Wherever such a person, he will constantly be sent a situation which will inevitably face the necessity of anger in that volume in what he sealed it inside his own vessel.
The thorn family model of behavior
As in the individual and in the family as a system, there are such processes. The family can also have their blind cataract, and often not one, when all members of the family, being ashamed of the particular forbidden feelings begin to hide and not take into account. Then the whole family is tacit agreement, pretending that this simply does not exist and this order is supported by all its members. Children who are brought up in such a family and its order of eviction unconsciously acquire hereditary cataract family hypocrisy.
The habit of hiding the negative and lie to yourself and the environment passed on in generations not osoznavaya new members. So, people can living life not knowing about his thorn, and constantly project it on others, while continuing to carry through on the unsolved problems of their parents.
If a child has not learned to cope with some emotion, he will not be able, as adults, to help their own children because their own kids, stuck in this family system, is not "outgrow" the parents, in any case, without a strong push from the side.
Family the thorn can be called ancestral karma, is the fact that the genus does not accept in yourself and push beyond its limits, and that the law of integrity will inevitably excite its members, returning to the generational repetition of unlearned lessons.
How to identify family thorn
Different families may have different family cataracts in the eye, and protective mechanisms operating within these families will be safeguarded these prohibitions. Because the easiest way to find such a thorn is to reveal the denial at him.
The family pretends that each member vehemently denies the existence of forbidden emotions or way of behavior in his family.
For example: We — Petrov never lie, never offended, do not take revenge, not jealous, etc. Therefore in this family lack the above with a vengeance and it is on these items from time to time the unfolding scenario family dramas.
Of course this family will not take responsibility for games with forbidden emotions, which is ashamed, because for this it requires specific parties in which she takes the role of "scapegoats" of its unmatched negativity.
Family lightning rods
Family lightning rod is not a pleasant role. Because people with a cataract do not recognize a certain negative emotions, which are ashamed of using the protective mechanism of the psyche, they want to ward off this negativity, trying to blame it on someone else's head.
It is the creation of a "zone of evil" in the face of a specific person, in which every member of the "righteous" families come to dump their garbage.
Member, playing the role of the family lightning rod, carries a heavy burden: family expels him from its borders and at the same time need it to get through it from your garbage and feel better.
Family members experiencing temporary relief dump on him all your sins, in that they lack the courage to admit to ourselves, and the lightning rod becomes the repository of evil, against which they are "righteous" are allowed to be negative, justifying their actions by "fair attitude" to pure evil.
Spiders in the Bank
Family periodically hurls the lightning their emotional garbage, can conduct a war with him and until he responds to this role, it is used as valve steam descent. But if the lightning rod this game is boring and he leaves a family, it immediately begins the search for the Deputy in that role.
People who can't take responsibility for their thoughts feelings, requires the enemy to transfer their negativity, but for his absence they feed themselves and their families, destroying themselves and the relationship.
What to do in the family, so as not to project their thorn in others?
To understand what is happening in your soul to admit their feelings, to understand them and their causes;
Learn to take responsibility for their thoughts, feelings and actions.
To refuse to participate in prosecution, thereby occupying the position of the pursuer.
How to stop attract malicious thoughts
Unforgiven parents
And of course, you often look to yourself, watching how you react to people and how they behave towards you. Observe what type of people you most common in life and what are the recurring lessons are these people. published
Author: Eugene Beinarovich
Source: www.nimra.ru/index.php/biblioteka/stati/165-belmo
As an example, I propose to consider the individual, which displaces the emotion which him unpleasant. This arrangement can easily be traced on the example of the emotion of anger that occurs in a child who has not yet learned to manage. He does not know that anger is a normal protective response to an invasion of his boundaries, but because of improper upbringing in families where made to blame the anger, the child starts to be ashamed of that feeling and separate it from yourself.
If the family starts a "black list" of undesirable behavior or negative emotions, which are called "wrong or bad" which exposes the punitive measures, the child is doomed to hiding these emotions not only from others but from yourself.
When you feel these emotions, to not feel "bad", he just closes them and stops them to accept the principle of the ostrich hiding its head in the sand. He becomes kinder, hiding and suppressing their anger, on the contrary, deceiving themselves and others, hiding in the closet, "hard-hitting", he only loses the objectivity of the perception of what is happening in his soul.
If the whole family denies this emotion, the child she is identified with the fear of rejection, to be "not its" in the family (and in the unconscious of every child to be "not ours" by right of belonging to the family as the pack, is a basic fear of loss of security). Nobody wants to be "alien", everyone wants to be "ours" and if not "to be" (because the child lies to himself, upryatyvaya this emotion), then at least to seem so in the eyes of the native environment.
In normal families don't blame the anger, because he's normal and natural. Expressing anger in the family is discharge and it becomes easier. Family quarrels this is the normal dynamics of the relationship between family members and children need to explain and teach to Express this emotion without displacement.
And if the child is receiving yourself and your feelings will openly Express that he is not satisfied, then do not accept secretive and will hide his irritation. Eventually he will get used to ignore your anger enough that you'd stop to notice it in yourself, believing that it does not exist.
But the world is arranged so that the mirror law of return integrity, it will send all the possibilities to a man in the face with its detached part, finally saw it. Wherever such a person, he will constantly be sent a situation which will inevitably face the necessity of anger in that volume in what he sealed it inside his own vessel.
The thorn family model of behavior
As in the individual and in the family as a system, there are such processes. The family can also have their blind cataract, and often not one, when all members of the family, being ashamed of the particular forbidden feelings begin to hide and not take into account. Then the whole family is tacit agreement, pretending that this simply does not exist and this order is supported by all its members. Children who are brought up in such a family and its order of eviction unconsciously acquire hereditary cataract family hypocrisy.
The habit of hiding the negative and lie to yourself and the environment passed on in generations not osoznavaya new members. So, people can living life not knowing about his thorn, and constantly project it on others, while continuing to carry through on the unsolved problems of their parents.
If a child has not learned to cope with some emotion, he will not be able, as adults, to help their own children because their own kids, stuck in this family system, is not "outgrow" the parents, in any case, without a strong push from the side.
Family the thorn can be called ancestral karma, is the fact that the genus does not accept in yourself and push beyond its limits, and that the law of integrity will inevitably excite its members, returning to the generational repetition of unlearned lessons.
How to identify family thorn
Different families may have different family cataracts in the eye, and protective mechanisms operating within these families will be safeguarded these prohibitions. Because the easiest way to find such a thorn is to reveal the denial at him.
The family pretends that each member vehemently denies the existence of forbidden emotions or way of behavior in his family.
For example: We — Petrov never lie, never offended, do not take revenge, not jealous, etc. Therefore in this family lack the above with a vengeance and it is on these items from time to time the unfolding scenario family dramas.
Of course this family will not take responsibility for games with forbidden emotions, which is ashamed, because for this it requires specific parties in which she takes the role of "scapegoats" of its unmatched negativity.
Family lightning rods
Family lightning rod is not a pleasant role. Because people with a cataract do not recognize a certain negative emotions, which are ashamed of using the protective mechanism of the psyche, they want to ward off this negativity, trying to blame it on someone else's head.
It is the creation of a "zone of evil" in the face of a specific person, in which every member of the "righteous" families come to dump their garbage.
Member, playing the role of the family lightning rod, carries a heavy burden: family expels him from its borders and at the same time need it to get through it from your garbage and feel better.
Family members experiencing temporary relief dump on him all your sins, in that they lack the courage to admit to ourselves, and the lightning rod becomes the repository of evil, against which they are "righteous" are allowed to be negative, justifying their actions by "fair attitude" to pure evil.
Spiders in the Bank
Family periodically hurls the lightning their emotional garbage, can conduct a war with him and until he responds to this role, it is used as valve steam descent. But if the lightning rod this game is boring and he leaves a family, it immediately begins the search for the Deputy in that role.
People who can't take responsibility for their thoughts feelings, requires the enemy to transfer their negativity, but for his absence they feed themselves and their families, destroying themselves and the relationship.
What to do in the family, so as not to project their thorn in others?
To understand what is happening in your soul to admit their feelings, to understand them and their causes;
Learn to take responsibility for their thoughts, feelings and actions.
To refuse to participate in prosecution, thereby occupying the position of the pursuer.
How to stop attract malicious thoughts
Unforgiven parents
And of course, you often look to yourself, watching how you react to people and how they behave towards you. Observe what type of people you most common in life and what are the recurring lessons are these people. published
Author: Eugene Beinarovich
Source: www.nimra.ru/index.php/biblioteka/stati/165-belmo
