Resentment. A very sensitive subject, has not been able to approach it. Not afraid to be stoned, you have every right to disagree with me. But if your life with your children is something not so think, perhaps, in my words, you will find some answer for yourself.
Read the story of one family. Mother shared their feelings about the disease of her son: at the age of one year he was diagnosed with deafness. The second child was not particularly desirable. The mother is not fully revealed what really happened in this family before the birth of a baby, during pregnancy.
Refer only to what everyone was expecting, the girl, and the ultrasound found the boy. There was a strong resentment at her husband, who allegedly said: "what do we do now?". Perhaps this question he asked after the news about the sex of the child, and after news of the pregnancy itself. This certainly does not learn.
But the woman kept pointing at something for so long felt resentment at her husband. And pass this resentment was only when two years son implanted the implant and with the hearing aid he began to distinguish sounds.This was a lot of tears, self-loathing, accusations, refusal to accept this fact and, most importantly, very mixed feelings towards the baby.
In General, from a psychological point of view such a reaction to a strong shock is justified. If she is not delayed and goes over time into something more constructive. What happened in this family.
Andnow listen closely – in fact, it is the child's illness has allowed mother and father to forgive each other and re-unite
. To cure the baby. The disease of the son was for their families cement. Although, of course, many families these difficulties can not stand, but for the family plus (if it is possible to talk about him in such a situation) was in it.
Sorry, that time won't turn back and won't fix anything. And this objective. Subjectively you can use special psycho-techniques to change your negative attitude to the past. And it's a way out.
A way to get rid of resentment. Because the offense itself and could be the root cause of illness of the baby. Resentment at his father automatically reflected badly on the child as on the particle. Rejecting or hating the baby's father, we don't take part in the baby and therefore reject the child.
We would like to inform him that his are not welcome, do not want and do not like. We are laying this program of self-destruction in their children. Now listen carefully – in fact, it is the child's illness has allowed mother and father to forgive each other and re-unite. To cure the baby.
The disease of the son was for their families cement. Although, of course, many families these difficulties can not stand, but for the family plus (if it is possible to talk about him in such a situation) was in it.
Once the couple quarrel, the children start to hurt. Parents are getting a divorce, breaking up, the case may go to the hospital. Besides, another important emotions that mom and dad have to each other. The psychosomatic nature of diseases is well known.
I'm talking terrible, maybe for you things. But look around and you will definitely notice that it is. In my life, at least it is. I see it and always try something to do. Know that health problems in infants – is a problem in the mind of the mothers, more precisely, their thoughts
. At the time of conception, during pregnancy, after birth. You need to establish that change happens immediately and you will not notice. But there is a good question that will help you. Answer it honestly, and a lot of things in your head will snap into place."When, under what circumstances and why I mention the child's illness, talk about it?"
If you deny any answer, then you are not ready to take responsibility for themselves. Perhaps never will be ready. Consequences? I think you already know about them.
It will be interesting:The feelings chart that will help you to understand yourselfI will not be easier! Afford to be hard
And the last one. Love to help you. True. No matter how hard, unfair, insulting and undeserved, still love. Mentally send love their abuser. What he did was for him the only possible thing at that moment.
Sorry. Because you don't forgive him, and yourself go. And, of course, thank the father or the mother of his child. At least for what you now have is a Miracle. Send them love and other good feelings, because this is not you give him or her and your baby
Author: Lilia Ahremchik