Poisonous tongue

The gossip, the attitude is contradictory. Some consider gossip a low and undignified way to tarnish someone's reputation. With impunity to strike back. To poison the atmosphere and create negative public opinion. Others believe that gossip helpful.

Thus, society responds to the actions of people, famous or not. Formed "interest groups", the feeling of "his pack". And in General – enjoy it! If you gossip, you are an interesting person, "persona grata", worthy of discussion.





You just have to present yourself in an impenetrable tower of steel or some other durable material, and not to pay any attention to what you say. Giving such advice is little known, to put it mildly, psychologists who have never been the subject of social gossip. And can only dream about, to be "persona grata"; but it is unlikely they will succeed.

An imaginary tower and little consolation that gossip supposedly insignificant and miserable – all this to real life is irrelevant. And take this advice is hardly possible. At least, people who value their reputation and good name, will not receive relief from such fantasies. After all, under the threat to their personal and business life, which takes place not in an ivory tower or some other durable, but the imaginary material.

Gossip can change the attitude towards us of other people, become a source of disasters and misfortunes, to make an outcast... I Wonder what the sages extremely negative attitude to the "unfriendly and discrediting the hearing," — this is gossip.

"Two vipers are exchanged poison," said Socrates, looking at sudachi women. And "people scenes" by the gossip are quite reasonable, with humor and understanding; especially during the period when their talent fades.

For obvious reasons – allows gossip to stir up interest in his person, when more heat it nothing. And sometimes fading "stars" specifically dismiss rumors about themselves, give rise to gossip, to stay in the spotlight of public attention allows them to stay afloat and earn money. So, it is true, of course.

And Oscar Wilde so cleverly put it: "Worse than gossip can only be their absence." Then, perhaps, he bitterly repented, remembering your elegant aphorism – the Marquis of Queensberry, with the help of gossip and rumors began to destroy the reputation of a wealthy and prosperous Wilde. He is everywhere and everyone told me that Wilde is a sodomite, sorry. Immoral child molester.

And it's detrimental impact on the reputation of Wilde and his works. Ended all litigation in which Wild tried to refute the gossip. Not denied, went to jail, was disgraced. He was removed from the repertoire, the books stopped putting out, friends refused to continue the communication. And impoverished, despised the former favorite of the public died in a provincial hotel, coming out of a terrible Weddingsgay prison.

So gossip is a powerful and dangerous weapon. It can destroy the identity of the person to cast doubt on all his past achievements, even – to kill. Like Pushkin, who was not averse to listen to celebrity gossip – why not? Through gossip, it was possible to obtain information about any person; in a secular society gossip was welcomed by a – what else to say, if not about mutual friends?

But gossip about his wife and his poet Dantes brought Pushkin to the depression — contemporaries remember how he became nervous, stressed out, how things have changed for the worse his relationship with his wife...Life of the poet was poisoned by gossip, and then did – there was a duel. Another way to stop the gossip; and the honor was considered sacred. Gossip could dishonor a man, to deprive him of respect and affection, to humiliate... And this weapon was used by the envious – always successfully.

After all, we should start to expose gossip and will only add fuel to the fire. Make even more to talk about themselves; and excuses cause the suspicion – "there is no smoke without fire", people say. Not too smart saying, that's why it did in the years of repression and terror loved. It justifies the story, shifting the blame on who's talking.

People excited, justified, presenting facts and arguments – and the answer is a shrug and thin smile: "no smoke without fire!". Is. Movie use and war "smoke without fire". Create a simulation of a smoke screen to disorient the enemy or images of the battle – which actually not. And there are banal baiting. Unpunished, and the denigration of the good name of a person.





So should we respond to gossip? Or still resort to saving the image of the tower, where we took refuge from the poisonous arrows of envy and malevolence?

Arkady Raikin did so: it was gossip. Horrible and unfair: that he is in a coffin deceased mother was taken to Israel diamonds. All of this and only talked about, and the artist was very worried. But then friend him angrily story that was in the lecture; and there the lecturer society "Knowledge" is also hinted at this vile story. Like, that's what they are, artists... All you can expect!

Raikin found this lecturer personally called him. And threatened to sue, write to the authorities, apply to the party Committee... the Lecturer was so frightened and began to say that he just heard somewhere, just repeated, nothing more... Since then, the gossip ceased – the story became public. But still the heart of the artist was sick and it was hard on the soul.

And this is an example of the proper response to gossip. Although not always, unfortunately, you can find its source – this information is toxic and dangerous.

Vysotsky also wrote letters to the Newspapers, which repeated the vile gossip. And gossip is treated with contempt; we know many of his songs about gossip, rumors, slander singer were aware that the big difference between these phenomena is not. All of them are poisonous, malevolent and with common intent is to denigrate the person.

And once to Vysotsky approached the lady, " you are such a good person! But you say so much bad!", — the artist turned away from her and did not continue the conversation. Only said softly: "But do not listen to what people say." And he was right – are guilty of not only gossip, but also the one who enthusiastically listens to post cruel information on.





All religions are widespread disgust for gossip and gossips. The wise authors of the Torah say: if the information is false is slander. And whoever spreads slander is worthy of punishment is to place him on burning coals or throw it to the dogs! If negative information is true – it's wicked words, degrading of a person, "lashon ha-RA". This is Slander in its purest form, is a terrible sin that deserves punishment, such as libel.

Righteous Muslims know that those who slander behind his brother, like one who devours the flesh of his brother after his death. Ludaescher, simply put. And it is a terrible sin that deserves a terrible punishment. The Apostle Paul himself was the object of slander, but patiently accepted; nothing can be done, slander – the main weapon of the enemies.

But the young widows who came to the meetings, would discuss others and gossip everywhere sticking their noses... And the Apostle told them, saying, go quickly married and give birth to more children. And gossip will not want; will begin its normal life. And the desire to speak evil of pass – because it is generated by its own irrelevance, the failure of his own predestination.

And gossip is slander, like libel and defamatory rumors. There is no much difference between them. Rumors undermine the credibility of the person, devalue his identity, questioning everything he does. Gossip is away with the accusation; accusation, as we know, always entails the conviction and sentence. The destruction of entire peoples and social groups began with gossip and nasty rumors; it is a powerful and poisonous weapons...

Gossip special. The consciousness of his own nothingness kompensiruet denigration of people famous, talented, strong. On the one hand, emphasized proximity to such people – that's how much I know about them! I am no less great! On the other hand, is the humiliation of another person, the reduction and "grinding"; it is now equal gossiper and the listener, and maybe even nastier, and below – they, at least, these immoral actions do not!

It's amazing what gossip sometimes just can't stop – even in the case of severe punishment, exposure, even with the threat of his own life – he continues to pour out the poison and invent stories.





In the documents of the period of the siege of Leningrad in the diaries there are entries about how emaciated a sick employee at work every day to gossip and spread rumors. "Stalin under the guise of a wounded soldier brought on a stretcher to the Smolny, and there he Voroshilov shot from a pistol, having quarreled with him because of his son"... In the end gossip passed "where necessary" — the gossip increasingly began flickering the idea of defeat, the arrival of the Germans, that there is nobody to defend the city... People are accurately caught on to this trend, the gossip was preparing the ground for defeat. And gossip never complained in difficult times, putting them on a par with the panic-mongers and deserters...

So gossip you need to fight. Not to pass them on to others.Not to listen to. As far as possible not to read, and read the malevolent and evil information – is critical to try to treat it after thinking about the intent – the intent is always present in speech.

If you yourself have become the object of gossip and know who carries it – can I ask you a personal question this man. As Raikin did. Gossip cowardly; as a rule, the talking behind cease immediately. Deep down you know gossip is gossip shameful; they fear for their reputation, that's why vilify our – beat on the most expensive!

If you find gossip is impossible, it is better not to add fuel to the fire, justifying, as a hero Averchenko, who suspected that he was making out with the cook. And he just lips smacked at the sight of the pie. Telling all the guests about the incident makarem, the hero is hopelessly ruined his reputation – a detailed justification has led to the fact that his service was dismissed. For immoral behavior and corruption of the cook. So excuses will not help.

As crystal reputation is proven that gossip often occur with a lack of information! If something is not, is something to be invented! – that is the logic of gossip. Gossip is eternal, deal with them as the forces still need – and disease forever! However, medicine has made tremendous strides in the fight against the disease. So don't give up, you should act according to circumstances.

 



Mental castration: selfishness in relationships

What is the "evil eye" actually

...In Muslim legend, the Prophet was met by two women, the righteous and not. Righteous all posts complied with, all the prayers were read, acted correctly, and talked a lot about the neighbors who make mistakes and generally worthy of condemnation.

A second woman did not bother too prayers and rituals, there were too many chores on the farm, husband, children... But she spoke well about the neighborhood. And the prophet praised her and said that she will go to heaven. Those who speak evil of, be sure to get published...
 

Author: Anna Kiryanova

 



Source: www.kiryanova.com/yadovitii_yazik.html