An interesting system for regulating the rigidity of the rules for the child, proposed by Julia Borisovna Gippenreiter in the book "to Communicate with a child How?". This system allows you to find the Golden mean between excessive strictness and laxity.
Divide the entire field of regulating the child's behavior, into four zones. Label them by color: green, yellow, orange, red.
In the green zone, put what the child can do on my own or desire. For example, to choose which book to read, what games to play, who to invite to their birthday, etc. When determining this zone is very interesting to think: and how much our child can really choose yourself? Yellow zone
The yellow zone includes those actions in which children are given relative freedom. That is, it can choose what to do, but within certain limits. For example, he is allowed each day to watch TV, but no more than 1 hour and no later than 9 PM. Or to decide when to start homework, but the work must be finished to 20 hours.
It is important that the child understand what caused the limitation. He is quite able to take your calm, but firm explanation. Emphasize that it remains a child for his free choice. When children feel respect for their sense of freedom and independence, they are easier to perceive parental restrictions.
Life is life, in it there are situations that make us sometimes get in the orange zone. It identifies those actions that are permitted in special circumstances.
For example, the father returns after a long trip late in the evening. You can allow your child stay up late and not even in the morning to go to kindergarten or (scary to say!) to school. Or: the child is in a stressful situation related to relocation, illness or death of someone close to you.
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is important to stress to your child that permission is justified only by exceptional circumstances. Children usually well aware of such limitations and are more willing to follow the rules in normal situations. Red zone
Last, the red zone involves actions that are not acceptable will never, under any circumstances. There can be no exceptions to this rule. You can't run on the road, playing with fire, to hurt the weak, to betray friends... From basic safety rules to moral norms and social prohibitions.published
Author: Yulia Gippenreiter