As family and school become a factory for the production of neurotics
Ninety one million eight hundred seventy four thousand four hundred forty two
— What, stupid?! What have you done?!
— What do you want?! You said the Russian language: write first name and then name. What about you? Why do you have all the way around?!
To think, the brain needs. And you have no brains, just write the first name and then last name. Set. Two! Give me the diary!
I forgot him…
— Oh-Oh-Oh?!!! And you head home remember?!..
This dialogue between teacher and pupil could have happened in any Russian region, in any school. Probably every second can remember my high school history when he explained about the "head forgotten." But our cases are still particular, they are not so convincing.
I then presented the results of extensive research conducted among younger students. Typically, projects involve one, two, on very rare occasions a thousand respondents. And here — tens of thousands of respondents. Moreover, we compared the responses of the same children in first grade and fourth. In General, a very cool study, it can be trusted.
Until all data is processed and published. But we can already draw one very important conclusion. While studying in elementary school children is rapidly going assessment of his personality. If in the first grade of high self esteem 43,7% of children, to the fourth the number of self-confident falls to 24.2%. The number of students with low self-esteem, conversely, increases from 30.2 to 36.6%. Roughly speaking, four classes of the elementary school child time to convince that he's a total jerk. And these figures — a much more serious reason to panic than the exam and other reforms.
The main tool in the reduction of self-esteem — mark. Forgot the notebook — two. Instead of "2 + 3" I wrote "3 + 2" — two. Looked out the window at the sparrows — two. Not hear the teachers — two. Climbed on the page margins — two. For the teacher it's just the number "2". For a child the diagnosis: he's bad, he's worthy, because his grandmother is sick, and mom and dad filed for divorce. The marks are added the shouts about "stupidity" and "what you get". They finally claim the child in the thought of his worthlessness. In the end we get an inferiority complex on a national scale.
The man who is not sure that he is good and his love, it is important to prove that they belong to some particularly outstanding race or country.
You can, of course, to say: that so be it, all right — the parents indulge, inspire them all sorts of nonsense that they are smart and wonderful, and the school returns to the harsh reality. That would be true if we really lived in such a terrible world. Fortunately, the adult world is not so rigidly arranged as school.
School breeds a huge army of people with low self-esteem. From it derives the lion's share of our problems: alcoholism, unwillingness to take the initiative, aggression, indifference. Even delusions of grandeur often stems from an inferiority complex. If a person yells "I'm the coolest, and who don't agree with it, you'll get it in the face!"mean-esteem had greatly underestimated because those who have it high, is unlikely to cry about it.
Not rule out that nationalism in all forms — from beating the Uzbeks on the streets to fight American influence in the state Duma — is also the fruit of low self-esteem. The man who is not sure that he is good and his love, it is important to prove that they belong to some particularly outstanding race or country. Confident people can comfortably live, even recognizing that their state or nation have often been wrong.
I then came to global politics. Probably need to mention Putin or in the extreme case of the Minister of education and science — criticism of the state will bring, of course, an extra hundred likes and slightly increase my self-esteem, but we must start not with her. And... well, with yourself.
We are all accomplices of the crime. How many times, meeting a son or daughter on the threshold, talking is not human: "hi! How glad I am to see you!"rather monstrous, "Well, what grades in school? I hope twos?"Each of us regularly reduces the self-esteem of their children, their colleagues, their friends, their parents. I am no exception. And I am ashamed.
To embark on the path of correction is not so simple. We chronically do not know how to praise. We have a duty "well done!"and that our linguistic reserves are drying up. But to blame we know how bright, juicy and varied. We are professional manufacturers of inferiority…
After these lines, I decided to at least slightly improve. And prescribed a set of praises to others:
"You've got a great article! I think it will please many readers."
"Thank you that washed the dishes. You have no idea what a thrill to have dinner in a clean kitchen."
"You're so great did it! Personally, I hardly would have happened."
"I'm so glad you bought me candy. Now I live and work will be much more fun".
"Still, it's great that I'm working with you."
Wow... These five sentences was given to me heavier than the rest of the text. Still, to produce low self-esteem is much easier than to fight it.