Children: attachment through the adoption of Bashny.Net

Closer to school age and older begins to trail is another thread of attachment which is woven into the overall rope – attachment through adoption.

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To be known is the feeling that you know and accept with all your features. When you feel that the other person sincerely wants to understand what you think and feel. When tabane dangerous to be yourself, and you're free from shame for their desires, feelings of “weakness.” When you don't feel the risk of rejection if revealed.

When you don't have to “pretend” to “create the appearance”, “to throw dust”, “to keep the facade.” When you want to share your innermost thoughts. When you are completely sure that the other person does not use your openness and “weakness” against you “do not pass the others”, “poke face” in moments of conflict.
Thus achieving psychological closeness, a sense of trust and acceptance.

This is the elusive level of attachment.
And, having many years with his family under one roof, we are not always reaching it. There are moments of revelation, but then the shell shut again, and everyone is again in its shell that protects against pain and vulnerability.

As attachment through posnanski is manifested in children?
Using the fact that the children trust us and entrust our secrets, thoughts, feelings. Children naturally need to be spontaneous and free to Express themselves. And if we – adults – do not demonstrate a rejection, don't be ashamed and don't condemn the child internally relaxes and allows himself to open up and not be shy.

Children naturally share. And in order to hide something, it requires tremendous energy and endurance. Spending it to “seem” or to disguise the fact that from the point of view of the child can psychologically separate from the parent, the child picks up the energy from his growth and mental development, spontaneous creative activity.

Already in preschool age children gives special pleasure to ' Ave a word with mum or dad. To whisper something in your ear, write a secret note. At this point, they are almost physically feel the closeness with the parent.

Parent, in turn, can tell us something about yourself, trust the child's memories of his childhood. Thus we create a shared intimate space.

Creating an environment in which feelings and desires are accepted, where you can freely discuss any subject, where not labeled, and there is an attempt to understand the other and to stand in his position, we naturally contribute to the development of the deepest level of attachment – attachment through Poznanski.published 

Author: Elena Dotsenko

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: alpha-parenting.ru