My eldest daughter, Marina, told us about his classmate who "got sick again. And his mother's sick, too". Got sick again — a relapse of leukemia. Classmate appeared in class only a week before these summer holidays, before — hospital, chemotherapy... "Good boy. Draws are so beautiful, gentle, calm," — so described his Marina. And here again... We gave money for his treatment, Marina took their accumulated thousand, and then pasted on the door of our entrance announcement about collecting money... And as "his mother's sick, too"... she also has cancer. The fourth stage. There is no one else, she is one — and son. And my daughter asks: "why is it so with them?".
Why?... Sometimes in similar situations heard the question "why?". The second question directly implies the existence of some compelling reasons because of which the people of disaster afflicted. This is a very strong belief, rising from the ancient times and at the same time, to our childhood, and I would formulate so: "This world to reach out to us, the world is closely watching us and determines how well or poorly we behave. If well — we are waiting for the "candy", if it is bad — all sorts of trouble." "World" can be safely replaced by gods, God parents or just adults. If this fundamental idea to simplify, we get the following: "If something bad happens, then there must be a reason. And the worse that happens to you, the greater must be the reason".
This idea is called "belief in a just world". What is justice? This view of the conformity of human actions and reward him for these actions. Most people will agree that if a man and working in good faith, he should receive more than someone who works little and badly. Another thing is that in "much / little" or "good-bad" each has its own meaning, but the basic principle remains inviolable: the reward should match the merit. In the religious world view the role of the Judge, which determines a fair distribution of reward, is playing God.
However, we are constantly faced with the fact that in our world, justice is extremely rare, and even very subjective interpretation. Well, that's what "justice" deadly disease for mother and child? A religious person who believes in just world in the face of God, we have to go on a series of logical tweaks to make backups of their faith, which is called "theodicy" or "the justification of God." This is an attempt to explain why benevolent and good deity in the world is going so much misery and injustice. A lot of attempts, and they are all full or deals with conscience, hypocrisy, or the final refusal of the answer to the question "why, God?!". Slightly more advanced concept of karma — the great impersonal and impartial law of Eternal Justice. If you suffer from something done in a past life. He is guilty in General.
Here we come to the main result of the belief in a just world. The accusation of the victim (or "victimblaming"): if you feel bad, you blame yourself. Poor people are poor only because of his laziness. If your apartment was robbed, "why there are no grids on the Windows" or "what's behind the door with a lock, which can be hacked in under a minute? Themselves to blame". If raped — "nothing to provoke". Blame the victim — is an attempt to cope with the horror that arises in the mind when it, this is a closed mind, begins to fight big, scary and unpredictable world. You can do anything you want? No, this idea is too terrible, and the consciousness clings to the idea of control, so familiar from childhood from parents or in a more conscious age of preachers of various stripes. If you behave properly, the trouble will pass you by (don't punish). It is possible to control the world, the main thing — to follow instructions and less balamutit water, rock the boat, etc Tirana (home and public), establishing cruel and often impossible rules of behavior, punishing the guilty for their violations, saying: your own fault, you broke the rules here and pay. If successful tyrants/rapists embodiment, the victim would believe that at fault and would not even raise the question of how generally legitimate as the rules and actions to protect these "rules". That is, the focus shifts from the one who carries out violence on the victim: what did you do/did wrong?
The blame the victim becomes much stronger in a situation of powerlessness, when people feel unable to help the distressed: or are afraid, or really can not help. Then, as a defense against feelings of worthlessness, and there is the idea that "they are guilty" — that is, aid that does not deserve, and even compassion, so we are not to blame. Now, if the victim suffered innocently — then Yes...
So the idea that the world is fair, entails a number of consequences:
a) the Idea of the existence of "right" and "wrong" behavior, which should be the corresponding reward.
b) the Idea of control over the world through "correct" behavior. "I'm a good person, and therefore I should be treated well".
C) blame the victim: the victim's misfortunes are the result of incorrect behavior, not external tyranny. "If you didn't, then nothing would have happened."
Naturally, the daily practice of human life inevitably entailed a different view of the world. The biblical book of job is one of the first attempts to think over the so if a just God (after all, in this book, a good man job was, in fact, a victim of arbitrariness on the part of God and Satan). The result was another shape, too, is very old, the idea of what the world: the world to reach out to us, but this world is crazy, unpredictable and often unfriendly. No rules, nothing will protect from tyranny. The enemy is everywhere.
It is a world from which all your actions are to protect not can. And here the main result is a syndrome of learned helplessness: no matter what you do, will not help anything. The man got the status of impotent, capable of nothing of the victim, which it is useless to take any effort. For those same tyrants and manipulators this idea is also beneficial — the question itself about what the victim could or could somehow influence what was happening to her, is declared unlawful and blasphemous. You are a victim of tyranny, and deal with it. Nothing will help. Lie down and howl. Or dream that the planet took and replaced. "Stop the planet, I'll go!". It is a world of trauma, the world is imprinted in the consciousness of the feeling of absolute inability to resist. Just lie down, curl up and wait for the Saviour who can deliver his life (this is often the only thing that keeps in existence).
These are the two extremes: the "fair world" and "insanely evil world." They generated a total powerlessness and fear of the vast Universe and the forces operating in it, only in the first case, hiding behind the illusion of universal rules, and the second getting frustrated and just hope for mercy. But in both cases the world to reach out to us, he intervenes in our lives, regulating it.
There is a third view on how the world really works, and I personally adhere to (and survive) it. It is a concept indifferent world. That is, the Universe is all the same, we have, or not. She just lives by its own laws, its grinding millstones for those who are not lucky to be in the way. She's not watching us — she maybe even does not suspect about our existence. If refuse is not out of malice. Just leave it lay.
In this world there is no candy for good behavior, and no the rod for the bad. There are just actions and their consequences, some of which we can calculate, and some not. In this world there is no question "why?" or questions about the basis on which this bastards die in wealth and in my own bed, and good people — in poverty and in the trenches. Just the ones doing something and others something (or not do). In this world it is impossible to impose conditions in the style of "I'm good — so you owe me...", but howl of terror, waiting for the inevitable retribution from the evil and all-powerful Universe, there is also no need. Very well conveys the feeling of this Universe is such an aphorism: "Time goes by" — so we say due to the wrong steady-state performance. The time forever. Pass you". We pass, and there is no way to change that. There is no possibility to manipulate this world through the observance of the rules — he sneezed on these rules, the whole civilization of man, the existence of which is — a moment.
So what do you do in an indifferent Universe? What he had always done to settle it. We can't change, change the world, but unable to attract his attention. I can't force other people to love yourself. But I can prove myself to be the probability that I fell in love with. I can't force another person to become clear to me — I can only be clear itself and it will give a chance to other to become clear to me. We can not eliminate from this world of misery and trouble can only reduce their likelihood. We can't control the world — it would be good to learn to control yourself. It is not encouraging, as in "fair world", but gives a chance that is not the world crazy. The gods and demons left us alone, ourselves. In such a world, I have the right to put such questions: what I can do to reduce the likelihood of becoming a victim of those or other phenomena of this world; how can I influence the world to become a little safer. "Blame the victim" here loses its force, because the questions are always the one who acts, not someone who reacts to the impact. To the one who attacked, and not to the one who is protected.
In place of the "live by the rules, and then everything will be fine" and "whatever you do, everything is useless, until you change the world" comes another, long-known rule, with one amendment: "do what you can, and come what may". Not in my power to stop cancer in the mother and the son, and to cure it. Or to fight crime. To establish peace in the world... my best — to do what little we can do at the moment, and hope that the result will be as we want.
— Dad, why is it so with him?
Just so happens, my daughter. No matter, good you or bad, deserved or not deserved. It happens... published
Author: Ilya Latypov
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
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