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Games people play
About the book Eric Berne, "Games people play" were heard by many, even those to whom psychology is not particularly interesting. What is it about this book that it became so popular?
Key ideas:the relationship between the majority of people consist mainly the "games" series of interactions with a predictable outcome. Games people replace the close and sincere relations.
Why do people play games? Babies cease to evolve without affection. Adults also vital for intimacy. But it is difficult to find and it is difficult to ask. If in life people there is no real intimacy, they are trying to get her through the game. Because even negative interaction is better than their absence.
Example of play: "If not for you" in which one spouse always complains that the second prevents him to realize their aspirations. But in fact, that he chooses such "nuisance" partners to absolve themselves of responsibility for their own lives. What we are trying to blame other people, usually our internal problem.
Each game brings win — what Eric Berne calls "strokes". Win can get either only one player or both. Playing games, people strive to achieve satisfaction or to feel control.
Most people don't understand that playing games. They believe that are wrong.
Within each person there are three "I's"that often have conflicting interests:
— Parent, instructing, educating
Adult — rational, objective
— Child — spontaneous, curious, irresponsible.
Interacting with people, we "juggle" these States, each of them plays their games. In any of these States we can act productively or not.
All of these States "I", in fact, the masks which we put on depending on the situation or their goals.
Although the games are destructive and do not allow to show integrity, they give a sense of comfort and allow you to justify inaction. Games for many become integral parts of their personality.
The danger of the games that he played, man destroys himself, becomes unbalanced personality that projects on others one's own inclinations and motivations.
People can give up games if I see another way of solving problems. published
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Join us in Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: makeright.ru/blog/igry-v-kotorye-igrayut-lyudi/
Key ideas:the relationship between the majority of people consist mainly the "games" series of interactions with a predictable outcome. Games people replace the close and sincere relations.
Why do people play games? Babies cease to evolve without affection. Adults also vital for intimacy. But it is difficult to find and it is difficult to ask. If in life people there is no real intimacy, they are trying to get her through the game. Because even negative interaction is better than their absence.
Example of play: "If not for you" in which one spouse always complains that the second prevents him to realize their aspirations. But in fact, that he chooses such "nuisance" partners to absolve themselves of responsibility for their own lives. What we are trying to blame other people, usually our internal problem.
Each game brings win — what Eric Berne calls "strokes". Win can get either only one player or both. Playing games, people strive to achieve satisfaction or to feel control.
Most people don't understand that playing games. They believe that are wrong.
Within each person there are three "I's"that often have conflicting interests:
— Parent, instructing, educating
Adult — rational, objective
— Child — spontaneous, curious, irresponsible.
Interacting with people, we "juggle" these States, each of them plays their games. In any of these States we can act productively or not.
All of these States "I", in fact, the masks which we put on depending on the situation or their goals.
Although the games are destructive and do not allow to show integrity, they give a sense of comfort and allow you to justify inaction. Games for many become integral parts of their personality.
The danger of the games that he played, man destroys himself, becomes unbalanced personality that projects on others one's own inclinations and motivations.
People can give up games if I see another way of solving problems. published
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Join us in Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: makeright.ru/blog/igry-v-kotorye-igrayut-lyudi/
