What to tell the kids that they grew up really happy

Nowadays it is very fashionable to be a good parent. It is fashionable to care for their child, to love him, to pay attention to his feelings and views. It is fashionable to raise him not on the machine, but rather to think about what you're doing. It would seem that there is no better time in history to be a kid than now. And yet.

A large-scale study of the University of Pennsylvania showed that despite the fact that a good parent now to be much more popular than just a parent, people will still, no matter how I try, can't bring the whole weight of his own childhood and continue to criticize children, instead of their to encourage.

On each positive phrase, turned to his own child, the average parent has about two negative.

And it concerns parents who think before they say something to the child. Let's be realistic, the majority does not. But even if you are one of those parents who really, really try (and you probably of these), you still often forget to tell the child is very important.

"I'm sorry. You were right"





That's really the phrase that parents say is so difficult that you might think, it gives them physical pain. But really there are situations when a parent was wrong. And yet there are situations in which a child told you that if you do think it will be bad, but of course you didn't listen. You're used to the fact that right-always only you.

But if not this child, as he learns that people are wrong too? Now he was certain that all of them are divided into those who are younger and a priori wrong, and those who are older (stronger), and so right. And their faith is so strong that children cannot get rid of it, even when they become adults. They just continue to think that now they are always right, they grew up. Imagine how it hinders them in life.

And such a simple phrase as, "You were right", teaches hundreds of very important things. It teaches the child that it is not insignificant. He, too, are good ideas.

It teaches that there is nothing humiliating to admit the truth of another and that this sometimes requires great courage.

She teaches us that we must listen to others. And most importantly, it teaches that you can make mistakes and the world will not collapse. Another time you can do the right thing.

"You make me feel so lucky"





In a sense this phrase is even more important than "I love you", although you can write a very long article about how rarely children hear from us and how often should. And yet love of a child — in a sense your duty and even reflex. He, of course, it is important to know that you love him, but you do it automatically without thinking. Child's favorite, and knowing that his love may not be able to verbalize, but also realizes that love it — your work (assuming that you and this work well).

But "I was lucky to have you" tells the child that you thought about him, compared, and figured my options and still came to the correct conclusion: your child is the best child on earth, and you are very grateful that the baby is yours. Do not hide from it.

Let him know you appreciate him, not only because you would have to do it, but because he is him. List what you especially strongly it impressed. He really is trying very hard to like you. Help him to understand what its features, especially your love. He is stronger will try to show them.

This is a great opportunity to talk with the child about what is good and not Vice versa, as parents normally do.

"I really like to be your parent"





Any, even the most optimistic parent-child relationships, perhaps the hardest thing a person goes through. How would you then grew up strong and independent adults, your actions reflected all that has happened to you in childhood-both good and bad. And the child and parent to be very difficult.

And this is the most "difficult" is often the main emotion that parents transmit to children.

For example, when sometimes (or constantly) talking with them this tired, weary, "I said a hundred times you" tone. To the extent that many children grow, it is confident that raising them was very hard (which is true), and had no idea that raising them was a pleasure.

Tell your child that he is not only a burden, a problem and the difficulty with which you struggle every day to cope.

Tell him what actually to raise it for you is the greatest pleasure on earth. Let him know that you are pleased with him to be nice to discuss problems and find solutions that you > actually nice, all that is connected with it.

What actually very a lot of joy. You on one side, and not in a state of cold war where each side tries to grab yourself.

You will be surprised how much easier it will be to live with your own child, when he learns that you happily live with it.published

 

 

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

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