Children — What is wrong in the sentences

Why consequences don't work? More precisely, they work very well in the short term, but up to a point. And do not work in the long term.

You can often hear:"If your child has frequent tantrums, you have to give him to understand that these tantrums are unacceptable." And then we punish the child or use "method effects".

In fact, we tell him: "that's what happens when you next time have a tantrum", "the next time you're throwing a tantrum, you can't watch your favorite show/play on the computer".

 





When we apply this method to children, especially to those who so very much frustration and such incidents occur frequently, we tell them the following:

"So how do you it is very difficult to cope with his frustration in a civilized manner, let me give you even more frustration!"

So we are adding them more and more, making it worse. In addition, we threaten them that we will select the expensive things they will get what they love. Of course, in the short term it works very well. But ask yourself:

"What is the child to be in a relationship with a man who constantly takes from him what he cherishes very much?"

Therefore, we need to be very careful. It will end in bitterness of heart. At some point the child will say, "I don't need it at all! Take it!"

But there are times when you have to take something from a child, and you do it because it's for his own good – then you're doing it out of a sense of responsibility and caring, not to immediately change his behavior.

If you need to pick up the tablet, you will need to help the child to cry his tears. This should not be a threat, the consequence, or punishment.published

From the lecture of Eva de Gastoni (Eva de Gosztonyi) “How to cope with tantrums and tears”

 

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

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Source: alpha-parenting.ru/2016/03/21/chto-ne-tak-v-nakazaniyah-posledstviyami/