Children two to five years
using the Mat unconscious as the imitation of speech peculiar to the younger age along with other activities. Here the roots of the scandal — surrounded by either adults or colleagues in kindergarten.At the age of five
to seven years the main driving force is the revolt against that, "taken as it should be." While swear words children use consciously, knowing and realizing that this can not be done.In the period from eight to twelve years old
children understand where and where not to swear. The jargon used among peers for affirmation, the desire to fit in and the desire to appear older. Students, mothers, copy the style of behavior of high school students, thus partaking of the adult world. So they feel more confident. Some adults shy away from the potty mouth and the kids were noticing it, I think that you can force yourself to respect and fear.
Since ancient times believed that the Mat is not an insult, and protection. Therefore, teenagers so much foul language. For them the world is still too hostile, and they do their best trying to protect themselves from it, and the best method of protection is known as the attack. Sophisticated abuse for teenagers trying to hide their weaknesses and appear stronger, harder and colder. From the standpoint of psychology, aggression is a necessary step of spiritual evolution, so the passage of this stage of development is a good sign that baby is developing normally. It is important to teach your teenager different ways to Express their feelings and experiences, to throw out the aggression is to find ways without the Mat!What to do ?
Practical tips:1. Try to keep swear words and slang does not sound in the presence of and the immediate environment of the child since his birth.2. If a swear word still floated out of the mouth of the baby, the first time you try to pretend you heard nothing and watch how it will react to the baby.
If the child already understands the meaning of the word, that he will wait from you some response, and not waiting, repeat provocation or decide that the word normal and there's nothing in him. And losing interest, forget about it. If a child expects from you any reaction, it seems, the word is he just "picked up". And if you do not focus attention on it, the word in the same way and unhook.3. If the child said obscene word in front of strangers, the most important thing is to remain calm.
Of course its hard to hold on not to react and not to punish the child, because you and ashamed and hurt and wants to make excuses. Pretend nothing happened, this is just an unfortunate accident, say something like "Yes, I do", smile and change the subject. And then, when cool, talk to your child.4. If a child asked you to explain the meaning of the word, try to calmly and affordably to tell him that it is a dirty word, it means something, and say it when you want to offend someone.5. If the Mat still appeared in the children's speech, talk to your child, ask him what those words mean, let him tell you or draw, explain the value.
Perhaps, as a rule, the kid did not know what he says. Explain to your child what they mean and tell me that these words are very hurtful and therefore we avoid them.6. If the child cries, is angry and shows aggression, the parents should show the child that they understand and accept his feelings
, as if to say, "now, I know you're angry, you hate it and want to blame". You can't just be forbidden to Express their anger. You need to teach the child how to respond to stimuli, how to Express negative emotions without swearing and rude words.7. If the mats are already entrenched in the child's speech, you can give him to read the dictionary of profanity or something similar.
After all, if something a lot, it is available and not punishable, then quickly bored.What not to do.It is impossible to forbid the child to swear just by the very words that you forbid him.
Be consistent. If you tell your child that you can'T SWEAR
, it means that all is impossible, and not just him. Otherwise you will have to answer the question "Why you and not with me?" etc.In any case it is impossible to shame the child, especially in public.Do not generalize.
If you want to chastise the child, uchityvaya for something specific, not making mountains out of molehills. After all, what he said one bad word does not make egoistement.You can't just forbid to use foul language, not explaining anything.
Prohibition only creates a reaction and does not lead to a positive result.Main findings:
if the mother is small — basic tactics — don't react (the rapid reaction of adults may serve as a stimulus to the use of obscenities) if you swear teenagers — do not pass by.Interesting to know:
Worldwide Russian Mat is considered the most strong and savory. The Finns or the poles, for example, use Russian Mat when I feel like swearing for real. The peculiarity of Russian Mat is that the focus is on "glasnosti" concepts related to sexual life. While in opencom mate, for example, the worst insult is dumb, that is associated with mental abilities. published
See also: Child is not a problem, but a result of problem parents Schizophrenogenic mother
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©