Something worth thinking about before you shout at their screaming child Bashny.Net

I think the baby went crazy, and after it starts to go crazy the whole family... welcome to the crisis 1 year!

He runs around the apartment on immature legs and jumps off the couch, he tries to eat himself, peremeshivaete a mess from head to toe, but does not allow herself to feed, he kicks and bites and cries and screams, clings to mom's leg and then with a cry pushes you... sound Familiar? Congratulations! You have a crisis your first year!

No matter of 9 months to your baby or 1 year and 2 months – sooner or later this phenomenon was facing every family. But despite this, mom and dad are not ready for such shocks. "Here it is, the result of your improper upbringing! Really spoiled child, and soon sit on his head!"only a small fraction of what is forced to hear suffering from critical parents and grandparents, and sometimes paediatricians. But actually, this crisis is an important and integral part of psychological development of the individual.

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The lower classes do not want...

We all know that the child is developing gradually, as if moving from one "step" to another. And each transition is necessarily accompanied by a crisis – when the child already wants more, but does not know or does not know how to achieve this. The crisis experience and parents who are not ready for the new demands of the baby. In short, "the lower classes do not want the tops can't." And that, like a coin, has two sides: poor – the crisis is absolutely all children and is accompanied by strong emotions. Pardon the expression, "sausage" the whole family. But the good side is that the crisis ends sooner or later, and the whole family comes out of it knowing and who knows how much more. How to survive this difficult period?

Cause and effect

Any bans and bounce the kid reacts indignant cry. In his "repertoire" appear tantrums, whims and "art of falling" on the floor as a way to get what you want (for example, to pull the tail a watchdog or chosen to be treated in the sandbox butt).

Dressing and undressing become acrobatic and the struggle Nanai boys, the child cannot be planted in the bathroom and then get out of it, he persistently demands attention when you are busy, but with indignation gets out of your arms once you try to pet it... why is this happening?

Imagine: before your baby was one, first physically, then psychologically – with her mother and is completely dependent on her and other adults. If the baby were worried about something, he would let her know crying and you cared about him. Saw something interesting showed finger – and now my mom carries it straight to the goal.

But your toddler has to stand on her feet took the first steps. And very quickly found that now he can get to where you want! But at the same time it is not yet clear: where I end and starts the rest of the world? It turns out that I can eat such an interesting Apple sauce, and when it taste good – spit it out! And if I was angry at her mother, unable to get away from her or slip the collar... but then it turns out that even if I try to eat the spoon somehow tries to roll over, and I'm still hungry... sorry!!!

So where do I end and now begins the mother?.. and what happens to mom, if I'm running far, far away?.. and if we are not one, then suddenly she will disappear somewhere without me?..

Point of contact

After a couple weeks of continuous tantrums, refusals and fights, and after a dozen full of bumps and bruises parents begin to feel that it is easier to give birth to a new baby than to re-educate existing. None of the usual educational measures on the child just does not act! Many moms and dads, desperate to calm the howling baby, just give him a kick in the butt or start screaming. But it does not help. How can that be?

 

Ways of solving problems "Capricious pores»

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1."Night mom»

The baby periodically, there are days when he doesn't let go mom. When you are not home, this is the "Golden child" — obedient, friendly. But should the mother appeared on the threshold... the baby is then completely switches on you, demands attention, not allowing to do any other things. What should I do?

Suppose you came home from work and you have chores. And then there's the baby who is clamoring for attention. Naturally, he missed.

You have 2 options.

Initial – do not pay attention to the disturbed and distressed child and try, for example, to cook dinner. Be prepared for the fact that your feet will be bitten and pans and bowls – tipped as the main rivals in the fight for mom's attention.

The second option – devote a half-hour high-quality communication with your baby. Play, messing with them, wear on the hands. You'll see – baby make sure the mother does not disappear, and pretty soon will require freedom. Now you will be able to give him a couple of pans and sit next to the kitchen, getting the opportunity to do their business.

2. Crying at the door

Such a mundane thing as a shower or toilet, it becomes an almost insoluble problem! Once you close the door, the child begins to weep bitterly at the door. And it's not out of spite, but out of great love and fear that my mom will be gone.

What to do?

— Going to the toilet, take vivid pictures, candy wrappers, etc. Put their baby under the door, and it will push them back.
— You can loudly singing favorite songs, hearing your voice outside the door, the child will be convinced that you are gone.
— Another fun game: ask your husband to close the toilet, and you with a daughter or son stay outside. Now knock. Dad says, "no no No!"and you – "wait, wait, Wait!"Then switch roles.

3. Little Explorer

To minimize the risk of injury and the need for prohibitions (very much painful they are perceived at that age), it's time to think about the safety of your home. This is the age when the beauty and decorativeness of the apartment temporarily to sacrifice common sense.

As experience shows, a year-old child smashes everything that can break, falls down from wherever it is possible to fall, and pulls in a mouth everything that can fit. And very indignant if adults are not allowed to do so.

If the necessity of the ban is still occurred, not to suppress the curiosity of the baby, and forward in a peaceful direction, otherwise the risk to get lethargic, no interest in the child. Invite the child allowed to interact with any object.

For example: "The book tear not, you can turn" or "Live kitten no need to grab the tail, it hurts, it can be Pat. And with a toy can do what you want."

4. Ordinary war

The classic manifestation of the crisis one year is the emergence of the big problems in the most ordinary Affairs. The baby begins to show a rare stubbornness and negativism in matters of food, dressing, walking. This is due to its increasing autonomy, and if he is not able to do it myself, my identity may be at least in denial.

Here's your indispensable helper dolls, Teddy bears and picture books. Year-old child is very susceptible to someone else's example (good and not). So "the boy in the picture" will help to feed, bear – dress, etc.

5. Storm of emotions

His mood changes every 30 seconds, drop the kid cries, throws things, brings to mind the whole family. Especially scares parents absolutely all manner of toddlers screaming to fall to the floor and banging his arms and legs, and even head. Parents get angry, get angry, punish the child…

But before he could shout at her screaming child, stop and think here over what.

First of all, the kid himself is very much affected by his condition and yet is not able to control it.

Secondly, he is very sensitive to the mother's mood and if you with a distorted face will hiss: "Calm down!"it won't help and will only excite the child even more.

In General, all violent emotions of the baby can be divided into three groups.

• Initial is a reaction to the refusal or prohibition. Baby is upset and expresses it in this way – cannot do it differently. Therefore, your task – to sympathize and to switch attention to something interesting.
• Second group – a "special moods", a tool for the child to achieve its goals. If your baby gets fussy "just because", while not very loud, but rather moan – apparently, he's bored. Talk to him, describing what you're doing you don't pass, etc. And if the child is naughty, seeking something forbidden, in any case, do not cancel the ban! Otherwise you are just accustomed to getting what they want by screaming.
• Third group – "hysteria fatigue". The child is overexcited or overtired after shopping, the zoo, after a hard day. He begins to act up, crying becomes stronger and stronger, it seems, it is impossible to pacify. That's just not an option when the baby can be left alone with his condition. First of all, calm down yourself. Try not to get to that crying, when the child "comes", hiccups. Put him next to a pillow stuffed with herbs (mint, chamomile, Valerian, lemon balm), turn on a lullaby or quiet just open the taps in the bathroom, gently talk to him.

 

Also interesting: Hysteria in children: what to do

How to respond to tantrums of other people's children

 

And don't forget that any crisis is temporary.published 

 

Author: Kalinina Zarnigor

 

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: vk.com/a.s.neill?w=wall-23183549_4266