In this article I will try as much as possible just to reflect on how we parents can help our children stay healthy.
Many of my friends parents, having sick children, at the time, "broke my head" trying to find the answer to the question: "How to cure the baby." It concerns and those whose children suffer long-term or chronic, as well as those whose child first became ill is hard or completely out of place – on the eve of a planned vacation, for example.
Of course, I'm talking about those parents who perceive the world is not flat and black-and-white, and allows for the presence of meaning in what is happening around. Any of us it's easier to give a medication to numb the symptom, but sometimes there comes a time when it doesn't help or even worsens the situation.
Also popular is "dump" the responsibility on doctors to complain about a lack of good people, bad ecological situation etc. etc. But health is not the lead.
That leads to health?
First you need a recognition of the simple fact that, when a child is sick, he often expresses or family or parent symptom
. For example, in psychology there is a term "identified patient." This means that everyone knows who is sick or for whom all problems in the family. It happens when parents come to the consultation, bring the child and say, "Here he...", "That's him.." and: "Do something with him...".
That is, this sick child is the identified patient. And like all adults it is convenient to agree that if not for him... or if not for his illness... then everything would be happy. And the fact that the problem in the family can not come from one person, and is always supported by family members at the system level – is more difficult to notice.
What do you mean "expresses the symptom"?
When I'm talking about the expression of a symptom, I mean any illness, condition of the body is the expression of feelings, States of mind, which is to be expressed could not
. The consequences of internal stresses, fears, aggression, repressed experiences.
- Children up to about five to seven years often Express their illness condition of the mother. The closer they are, the more time a mother with a child – that is true.
- When children grow up, their condition often expresses exactly family symptom. Simply put, the child's body expresses what is happening in the family, usually the sharpest and most hidden problem. This is natural – if the problem was on the surface and everything is clear and understandable, its no reason it would be so crooked to Express.
- OBOSOBLENNOE and the older the child becomes, the more he expresses himself, his own position in the world. Of course, there are exceptions, and I've seen examples of strong symbiotic ties with the mother when the "child" was nearly fifty years... But now we are rather talking about General trends in pediatric psychosomatics.
When it should not be forgotten that any disease of a child should be considered in the totality of the circumstances: it is not just what the mother feels and expresses but also how it feels baby.
Planned family trip: spouses and children should fly together to the beautiful island and spend two weeks enjoying nature and each other. And suddenly, almost on the eve of the trip the youngest child (4 years old) gets sick — he has a fever almost to convulsions. Also available red throat and coughing, no more symptoms.
What happens if you start giving the medication? powerful the symptoms become chemically depressed
. On his child's body already had spent a lot of energy, and now it's just suppressed from the outside. Fatigue comes, the body gets experience outside influence, instead of generating and obtaining resources for recovery. There is some provocation to get sick or even more sick – after all, what I wanted to Express, remained within, or was misunderstood, unclear, and thus missed, unprocessed "clean" experience.
What happens if you realize a symptom? – secret (suppressed) will be revealed (taken),
psychic energy will get a healthy yield, somatic symptoms of the child will take unnecessary.
So, mom (for example) analyzes what is happening, if you have time - with a psychologist. Appears reason
– before this trip, mom and dad successfully hid from each other at work and children staying alone for a long time. And then matured long-standing conflict between them, but nothing is discussed, everything for a vacation, but would not break. While claims abound! Mom is offended, dad gets angry, both this is stuck in my throat...So:
the throat of the kid and red (irritated), increased temperature (from anger), symptom climbed sharply (because the trip is already "on the nose") ... Making loving and brave mom (wanting to relax)?
Mom goes to talk with dad without the kids. She says as you can, sincerely, about yourself in the first person, expressing feelings. Everything turns out with my dad (with my husband, that is), hug, peace and tranquility, the next morning the baby is healthy. Trip to this, willingly retold me the event took place.
What to do parents whose child is sick?
In addition to recognizing the probable expression of your child, family or maternity symptoms, you need to understand that it expresses a child and understand how to show this hidden without the help of the disease.
How to understand what symptom?There are a few possible ways:
1. See what hurts.
Depending on how it expresses the disease, you can see what such a depressed question.
For example, leg. What are the main functions of the legs? – support and move forward. That is, the problem will be in the area of loss of support or prevent moving forward (usually to your desires). Accordingly, forbid it either the mother or the whole family. This happens when the family lives according to the laws "should", not focusing on "want".
2. To see what the disease has been difficult to do,
which prevents (here in the example above, it prevented a family trip). Accordingly, what is the biggest obstacle, there sits some sort of fear. And you can twist what scary...
For example, such a sickly child, so painful... To the garden to give to the nanny not to leave, from a decree not to leave... But during the consultation it turns out that to go to work is terrible, and indeed until recently. Well, fine, but why not openly say – "like, do not want to work, want to sit at home with the baby"? – but because for a family sort of agreed that it is time to work. And husband sometimes persistently asked when his wife will come to work. And wife, instead of saying that she wants to sit at home, answers – well, he's hurt all the time, as his leave? And like a small difference, but the fee for shifting the responsibility – the health of the child.
3. The third way:to feel like a child,
literally "to be in his shoes" — this is for advanced users. But with the development of skills such feeling gives excellent results.
For example, the child just sprinkled, looks like Allergy to the skin and itches terribly. If the child did not eat a kilo of tangerines and eliminated other obvious things, it looks like work on the clarification, something like: "if I ... – a daughter Sasha, what I feel when I'm itchy? I feel irritated strong... even anger. And impotence, helplessness...". And then the question yourself, beloved – "And where, in any situation, I now feel angry and powerless? Oh, Yes, I'm the husband was offended... And silent..." (I warned you that this is for advanced people). And then, if awareness has occurred, the parent works on himself, and the child recovers.
Harder to cope with chronic symptoms. Often in such cases, you need a complete work of the psychologist, parent and doctors.
Of course, it is hardly possible to ensure that children are never sick. However, to reduce disease to a minimum, to make them easier for the whole family, help children to recover faster – is quite real.
Also interesting: Anxiety and anger mothers ALWAYS take power from the baby! Something worth thinking about before you shout at their screaming child
It is important to learn to notice the bodily symptoms are manifestations of the soul, what we do not give a different, healthy way. Then the disease will not rise to the experiences of the child, and a signal tells you how you can make your family life more harmonious.published
Author: Arina Intercession
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©