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6 ways to free the daughter from gender stereotypes
My daughter loves the color pink? She's wearing bows and dresses? She is capricious, and the only justification becomes a phrase: "Well, I'm a girl?" Nevertheless, the duty of parents to do everything possible so that the baby is not exposed to gender stereotypes. Yes, it's not easy, but there are a few effective methods, tried and tested mother of two girls Katerina Costula.
Do not overdo it with the phrase "be careful"
Studies show that parents are four times more likely to say "be careful" in relation to girls than to boys. Family psychologists say that girls are much more frequently warned of the dangers of fire than boys, although experimenting with matches more likely the second than the first. And yet moms and dads are more likely to help daughters than sons, when they hurt, fell, lost something and so on. And then we wonder why women seem more helpless in difficult situations than men?
Not necessary to be overly protect girls from the "dangers". Give them the opportunity to learn from their mistakes. For example, when my daughter starts to run fast, I do not cry after her something like, "Careful, you'll fall!". Let him run if he wants – she has the instinct of self-preservation, whereby it stops in time. And if not, I'm always here and you can hug her, kiss broken knee if she fell. But never say preachy: "I told you so!".
Think about the compliments
Needless to say, we tend to compliment girls more often than boys. So we encourage their outer beauty. And they soon drew the conclusion that appearance is something very important that allows you to get approval from other people. Of course, to admire your baby – this is normal, but I made the rule "five compliments". The day I five times praised daughter. The first praise for her looks, second the mind, third creative talents, the fourth – physical development, the fifth one is the ability to behave well.
When I make a compliment to the girl, I put the accent on it ("you're the most talented artist in the world"), and on how I feel when I see her art ("your paintings make me happy"). The child must understand that it's not the outward manifestation and inner qualities, feelings. If the girl will assume that appearance is more important, it will grow deeply unhappy woman, talent, intelligence and ability which anyone will not be appreciated.
Do not share girls and boys
In conversation with the daughter is better to avoid such phrases as "Well, you're a good girl! Do so-and-so" or "You're acting like a boy". Gender of the child do not affect well he behaved or bad. Child needs to explain the rules of etiquette, to make their observance has become a habit, like brushing your teeth in the morning. That's all! And remember that "mother's daughter" too often restrain themselves because they are afraid to be impolite/rude/wrong. And it hurts their careers, while the "cheeky girls" make their way to the top.
Show an example
In my family, clearly divided responsibilities between me and my husband, but we both take an active part in the upbringing of children. People that help us to farm, is a man. Our daughter sees what men can perform the work that is considered "feminine". Remember: "Children will never listen to their elders, but they will always imitate them."
Don't limit a choice
Allow daughter to choose what kind of hobby she likes and what toys she played. My little box has and cars and blocks and dolls. She likes dancing and football. And she loves to help me cook. It is not necessary to divide Hobbies into a purely "male" and purely "feminine".
Stories and tales
In most traditional fairy tales such as "Snow white," "Cinderella" or "little Red riding Hood" the girl someone saves. But today, I'm thinking of a new story where the heroine has to cope with the evil wizard. Having studied the contents of 6000 children's books published in the period from 1900 to 2000, the researchers noted that only 7.5% of protagonists were women. Most of all I was struck by the book 2014 release "Barbie, I can be a computer engineer," where Barbie appears as a useless programmer, which is needed only in order to help the boys to write computer code.
7 principles of strong mothers who need to teach my daughter
What we forget to teach children
We live in a world of sexism, therefore, our way in business is so difficult. But awareness of the importance of gender equality is growing every day. Barack Obama recently wrote about this: "I want all our daughters and sons understand that this is their path too. I want them to know that this path is not easy. And I want them to do everything they can to ensure that... every child that he can build his life as he wants. That's what feminism means in the twenty-first century is the idea that we are all equal and we all are free".
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
Source: womo.com.ua/bez-opravdaniy-6-sposobov-osvobodit-doch-ot-gendernyih-stereotipov/
Do not overdo it with the phrase "be careful"
Studies show that parents are four times more likely to say "be careful" in relation to girls than to boys. Family psychologists say that girls are much more frequently warned of the dangers of fire than boys, although experimenting with matches more likely the second than the first. And yet moms and dads are more likely to help daughters than sons, when they hurt, fell, lost something and so on. And then we wonder why women seem more helpless in difficult situations than men?
Not necessary to be overly protect girls from the "dangers". Give them the opportunity to learn from their mistakes. For example, when my daughter starts to run fast, I do not cry after her something like, "Careful, you'll fall!". Let him run if he wants – she has the instinct of self-preservation, whereby it stops in time. And if not, I'm always here and you can hug her, kiss broken knee if she fell. But never say preachy: "I told you so!".
Think about the compliments
Needless to say, we tend to compliment girls more often than boys. So we encourage their outer beauty. And they soon drew the conclusion that appearance is something very important that allows you to get approval from other people. Of course, to admire your baby – this is normal, but I made the rule "five compliments". The day I five times praised daughter. The first praise for her looks, second the mind, third creative talents, the fourth – physical development, the fifth one is the ability to behave well.
When I make a compliment to the girl, I put the accent on it ("you're the most talented artist in the world"), and on how I feel when I see her art ("your paintings make me happy"). The child must understand that it's not the outward manifestation and inner qualities, feelings. If the girl will assume that appearance is more important, it will grow deeply unhappy woman, talent, intelligence and ability which anyone will not be appreciated.
Do not share girls and boys
In conversation with the daughter is better to avoid such phrases as "Well, you're a good girl! Do so-and-so" or "You're acting like a boy". Gender of the child do not affect well he behaved or bad. Child needs to explain the rules of etiquette, to make their observance has become a habit, like brushing your teeth in the morning. That's all! And remember that "mother's daughter" too often restrain themselves because they are afraid to be impolite/rude/wrong. And it hurts their careers, while the "cheeky girls" make their way to the top.
Show an example
In my family, clearly divided responsibilities between me and my husband, but we both take an active part in the upbringing of children. People that help us to farm, is a man. Our daughter sees what men can perform the work that is considered "feminine". Remember: "Children will never listen to their elders, but they will always imitate them."
Don't limit a choice
Allow daughter to choose what kind of hobby she likes and what toys she played. My little box has and cars and blocks and dolls. She likes dancing and football. And she loves to help me cook. It is not necessary to divide Hobbies into a purely "male" and purely "feminine".
Stories and tales
In most traditional fairy tales such as "Snow white," "Cinderella" or "little Red riding Hood" the girl someone saves. But today, I'm thinking of a new story where the heroine has to cope with the evil wizard. Having studied the contents of 6000 children's books published in the period from 1900 to 2000, the researchers noted that only 7.5% of protagonists were women. Most of all I was struck by the book 2014 release "Barbie, I can be a computer engineer," where Barbie appears as a useless programmer, which is needed only in order to help the boys to write computer code.
7 principles of strong mothers who need to teach my daughter
What we forget to teach children
We live in a world of sexism, therefore, our way in business is so difficult. But awareness of the importance of gender equality is growing every day. Barack Obama recently wrote about this: "I want all our daughters and sons understand that this is their path too. I want them to know that this path is not easy. And I want them to do everything they can to ensure that... every child that he can build his life as he wants. That's what feminism means in the twenty-first century is the idea that we are all equal and we all are free".
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
Source: womo.com.ua/bez-opravdaniy-6-sposobov-osvobodit-doch-ot-gendernyih-stereotipov/
