What we are preparing children?

This article is so full of emotions that are close to each parent, which literally ringing from stress. The author, a professor of education Dmitry Zitser raises thorny question: what we are preparing their children for decades of their life? < Website publish the text of the blog Dmitry slightly abridged.



call.

- Do you have a preparatory group?
- Pre ... What?
- Like what? For school course ...

Oh, how could I forget ... for sure! It is necessary to prepare! All the time - to prepare. In kindergarten - school, school - the university, the university - for future work ... and so on, until, finally, does not come it is time to start preparing for the holidays in a better world. < br />
Truly delightful product we offer to children (as well as themselves): Preparing for life instead of life itself! Dizzy substitution, completely depriving a person of the present.

What are we? It makes you want to shout that there is strength, "Guys, we were cheated again!" Yes, deceived, and this time an unusually cruel and cynical. And that is especially disappointing, as in all such cases, we are supported by the fraud - in the hope of extra convenience, additional preferences in the relationship, the extra rest. What could be sweeter than the illusory hopes! ..

"Contemplate, my son, then you will be grateful!» < When this - then what? This son would be grateful? Why? is not for you, that in this he was forced under pressure to choose not what you want, it seems important at the moment, as ephemeral and precarious future? Where you spend 30% of his childhood classes playing the violin? Why not heard your music?

Now patience - then you will understand now Learn - then come in handy now to do what you do not want, it's for the sake of ... Anyway - Prepare sleighs in summer. Even at the cost of fun with this summer. Even if the winter will never come.

What has been the result of the continuing imposed, burning the very essence of childhood training? The admission to the university? In getting a decent position in the future? Do you really think that without school, but with an understanding of their own motivation - what I want here and now - receipt (or, conversely, a conscious rejection of admission) would have been impossible? Which corresponds to itself in the future is not possible if all childhood man forced to be someone else but yourself?

And all this in an ongoing attempt to prove to ourselves that this training is called life that otherwise could not be. It is this attempt to self-persuasion, by the way, and the myth is based on the future of children's appreciation. After abandoning it would have something to confess, to change something. And we have to change, I'm sorry, are not trained - we can only prepare for the changes ...

"If I had not been forced to, I would ..." I would - what? Perhaps I would have chosen another profession? Another way of life? Around me I would have been other people? This is bad? Fearfully? What all this prove? Eternal half dead bird in the hand ...

Amazingly, it was imposed following this approach, we often do not notice any of their growth or their new aspirations, or their discoveries, yourself with time beginning to provoke them to ignore us ...

If you ask parents what they want to see their child in the future, most will answer "I want to be happy, I want to be kind, sympathetic, calm" and so forth. So why are we in such a hurry to interrupt them - with age, more and more rare - moments of happiness and peace? Why if we see, for example, as a man happy to collect the constructor (dreaming, drawing, cartoon looks), we often repeat, "Go go do something useful." After all, he already occupied this very "useful." This fear that time will take forever, tormented us every day more and more. It hurts because we ourselves podsazheny this continuous training for life.

Until we learn how to interact with them and recognize the correctness of the chosen path, they have, imagine irrevocably passes childhood. For us, three years may seem a moment, and for them - it's a big part of adult life (if, for example, they are six or seven). And no amount of talk about the fact that they have "a whole life ahead," do not help, and who knows what - ahead ...

Remember, in the "Spring shifters Vladimir Koshkin Tendryakova thinking about time? About the fact that cats and humans during different? So, in adults and in children while also very, very different! Once again we are sorely match. And they still are willing to wait until we learn, willing to help us to change, willing to forgive ...

Only here the child is very difficult to figure out how to make ends meet, when a whole life ahead, but it did not catch up ...

One boy named Lev asked the perennial question: "What will you be when you grow up." And he answered without hesitation: "Big Left." Do you understand? He even can not imagine that he has yet to be somebody - he's already there!

This view is we are destroying carefully as not to destroy at all, do not make them, and at this point sebepodobnymi. From what? Because of fear? From resentment? From hatred to themselves?

Let's finish with this. Children in fact and there can help - to reach out and get us out of this endless maze. It was they just live here and now. We can just notice this outstretched hand and start to be with them. Right now. You know, because they are so cool! Yes, and we, frankly, too.



via snob.ru/profile/29563/blog/101120