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Do not live for the sake of the children
«I beg you, do not live for the sake of the children! They not only do not need it, it's bad ... How many broken lives, broken hearts, resentment and misunderstanding! I see women who give up in life for the children. And then I see those children, for which the total refused. The spectacle is a sad ...
Mom raised a Vanya. She never married, invested all his son bought him an apartment, pay for university. He was a wonderful man, a success. That's just it for fifty. He has never been married and has no children. All my life I tried to regain my mom debt. It did not happen.
Susie's father worked day and night for the kids. He had big plans - especially on my daughter. She was capable of. And he dreamed that she would become a doctor. She amassed her university. But she refused. She wanted to live my life. Differently. She wanted to become an artist. Then Dad tried to reason with her - and put her through. I considered to all: how much its worth in school, mugs, clothing, food. And demanded the money back. Needless to say, that Ksenia longer seen his father? It has been over thirty years since that day ...
Mom for Ira refused to privacy. After the divorce did not go out on dates, she was afraid to hurt her daughter. The daughter has grown and can not leave my mother. It can not go on dates. It can not even admit the idea to leave my mother and take her life. Ira forty. I never have been married. No children.
Parents Igor and Eugene were very, very good. They did everything for the kids, all they could, and even what they could not. The family always seemed friendly, family holidays, vacation. Only in this whole parenting they lost marriage. They are no more bound. They lived together for thirty years as a father and mother. And then, when the children are gone, just divorced. Eugene still can not recover from this great deception. She was thirty-seven, but she does not want to marry. Afraid of a repetition of the same sad story. After my mother after a divorce quickly faded.
Gosh - late child. above it always shook his guardians, take care of him, even too much. To tell the truth, his mother simply despaired and decided to wait for the prince to give birth to itself. And then she decided that after George fulfilled all her dreams. She was trying to make him a child prodigy. He was engaged in several languages, she went into many circles, playing the harp ... My mother was proud of him, and guests are always asked to play something. Harp - it's very exotic! Gaucher over forty. He divorced. It educates children by another man. Gosha not mind. He still does not know what he wants himself. He did not become a child prodigy. He broke down and broke. Now he just drinks. Prior to his work, rather than work and after it. Mom does not see this.
Little did these stories, and many among them are cheerful and happy? When the child becomes the meaning of life, it's too hard for him. It seemed to tuck into a room in which one end air. First, because you can live, but gradually you start to choke. Choking in such love and care.
And not only that you are twenty years - or who are as - you live life in the stifling desert, often you stay still and should be. You bring the bill, although it seems that you just came to visit. And gladly would have helped the owners - he, on his own initiative. But when you bring on a platter the bill for those same twenty years, when every breath burned everything inside ...
Then there are options. The child can pay these bills forever. As Vanya and Ira - of the stories in the beginning of this article. Or arrange protests - start drinking, to sever all ties - both Ghosh and Ksenia ... Few can understand and adopt the attitude of parents. Accept and understand and that do not sacrifice their own lives, their interests.
So, I beg you, do not live for the sake of children! Find a different meaning of life, find another meaning in motherhood and fatherhood. For little boys and girls who come to this planet from becoming hostages and victims of your "charity" and guardianship.
Do you like her husband. Children grow up, and he will stay with you. You can submit an example of the relationship children that they wanted a family of children. Can you beat off all desire, if you are obsessed with children's problems, ignoring the needs of her husband.
Love yourself. Do not forget about yourself in the race for the children's happiness. Do not give up the dress for the new robot. Do not change your beautician to tutor. If you do not take care of yourself, what you can give to others? What kind of example? What is love? Location?
Search for the meaning of life beyond the material layer. This life will end one day, even if we do not want to think about it. Spiritual practice, religion, prayer ... You can draw strength from there, instead of pulling it out of children.
Do not live for the sake of the children, I beg of you. When I meet people who are parents have given everything and more, I really painful to look them in the eye. I learned a lot of themselves and their pain. I see these flour, broken hearts, empty souls. In their eyes - cries for help. Pain, despair, guilt ... They - like all children - really want to love their parents. But then they will not survive ...
Give your children the opportunity to live and breathe. Then they can grow and develop. Wherever they put on fate. Our role as parents is simple: time to water, do not cover the sun, protected from pests. And then the child is like a flower, he has to cope and show the best of what it has laid over & quot ;.
Author: Olga Valyaeva
via www.valyaeva.ru/
