First you need to be patient: the children are usually pretty darn hardy, and the first signs of neurosis you only get with the times. The child believes that you are on his side, that you take him anything, and that you were able to thoroughly destroy the faith, or at least part of it, will have to work hard.
We must constantly emphasize that the child is not good enough for you, what do you expect more, it can not be considered sufficiently docile / zealous / successful etc. N. It is advisable in this case as often as possible give an example to other children and themselves in childhood. The comparison is not in favor of the child and his dissatisfaction - a good basis for neurosis. Gradually he loosened the belief in himself, and he will begin to show signs of the long-awaited first neurotic.
Now the main thing - do not stop there. Suppose there onychophagia. Begin often mention it, and even better - is strictly forbidden to bite my nails. If you feel the strength to beat the hand - just perfect. It will drive him into even greater stress will be several alternative centers of attention, and the case will move much faster.
Same with biting lips, diverting glance to the side, spinning something in his hands, and so on. Eat at "serious conversation" more phrases and phrases like "Look into my eyes, you have that guilty conscience?" "Put your hands, stop all the time something pull!", "Stop biting himself, it would be better teeth I cleaned "and the like. All of this reinforces insecurity and leads to the desired results.
Very good it is also harder to scare like this: "Will you biting your nails - you no one wants to talk" or "Such crybabies nothing ever made," "If you behave, I'm with you no longer will talk».
Emphasize all the time that you are not interested in the child, and his achievements: learning, the ability to play the right game, the ability to elicit the praise of others, and so forth. Well, if you have allies: the school, which is often publicly demonstrated his perfect futility, relatives and friends who have expressed an unpleasant surprise one or other of his qualities. Do not forget to remind you that it is essential for you to other people's opinion of him.
Avoid any situation is the reason for the dissatisfaction. The child must be brought to a state where he realizes that he can not be safe. In any, even a very pleasant situation, Mom and Dad can find the signs of his bad behavior. Pay attention to detail: "Do not run," "Do not cry," "Stay exactly", "Holding your spoon," "Put on another dress," "remake the job" - all fit into the case.
Do not leave him time for himself, he must always be doing something important (important, of course, from your point of view). It must how to understand: once you decide that life does have meaning.
Often organized to a situation of humiliation: ask tough questions at the other, if something is not done - ask to change, if it is possible - as much as a perverted form. For example, one of my friends father asked his son at a party that he liked to review the play and after the response was unsatisfactory and demanded to write a review for the play, and then to read everything. The boy was crying, refused, but the result is all written as told father. Such fine moves multiply the chances of success. In one case described the situation enough for the quality of a nervous breakdown, which eventually turned into a chronic neurosis.
At some point you need to whitewash themselves and see a specialist. A child needs to understand that it is objectively something like this: you take care of him, and he is really bad. Remember: the parent can not be wrong! You have nothing to change their behavior. Down with reflection and doubt, indeed: all children as children, and you have what the hell!
In doing so, you will be able to set the right direction for the rest of his life. He will never be happy, he has a great chance to forever remain infantile child, he certainly frayed all who would be next in the future. And most importantly, if you're lucky - your energy and reach the next generation. He will take everything that happens to him and your grandchildren. And then - long live the neurotic invincible eternity!
Author: Dima Zitser
Photos in the preview: thewowstyle