How to survive the failure and find the strength to move on
failure - a major step on the path to success, but it is, nevertheless, can make you feel as if your heart is broken. To make failure your friend, not an enemy, it must be overcome. Here are some tips on how to do it.
1. What is failure? Failure is defined as the lack of success, but the actual definition depends on you. Failure may be something minor. Maybe you forgot to buy something important in the store. We all make mistakes, and the mistakes that we do have a weight - large or small - and make us feel that we have something failed.
Generally, however, for the great things we use the word "failure", for example, when brought someone or, most importantly, themselves. Trying to do something really important and fail - it really hurts and shakes your confidence. Maybe your business startup failed, or you lose the big game, or disappoint someone you care about. Sometimes failures leave traces - but not necessarily.
2. Feel that should chuvstvovatNeudacha can bring a hefty emotional harm, but that's okay. It is important to discard all negative emotions, to get together and decide what to do next. Do not hold on to the feeling that you are locked within themselves, like a stake in the bank shake. Control emotions can lead to two consequences:
- emotional outbursts: in the end, the pressure inside of you is too strong, and it will be difficult to hold back emotions. In a moment of weakness all that you kept in yourself, can explode and throw you further. It not only affects your state of mind, but also in your relationships. During this surge of people whom you care may fall under the hot hand.
- increasing the negative: if you allow yourself to loosen his grip, negativity will slowly but persistently to penetrate your mind. You must openly confront make a mistake and give yourself the opportunity to experience them. Otherwise alarm Hidden in the back of your mind, and your failures continue. The constant concern is injurious to health and can lead to even more problems.
- Step back for a while. To feel that you have fallen into depression - normal. Complete disregard the incident will not bring benefits, so select a time and let yourself be lain as much as you want. Take time to carefully feel anger, sadness and frustration, only to let them go. If there was something small, then all you need to be - take a walk or cry into my pillow. For something a little more give yourself 24 hours to let go and start the next day as a leaf. If you need more time than a single day - that's fine, but make sure it is the amount of time set by you, and you stick with it.
- Talk about what happened. Tell someone who you know, what you feel. It is well known that a simple conversation about something make you feel better. Get rid of the burden, and reprimands. Most likely, someone with whom you speak, you try to make you feel better, but even if he does not, you release the information outside of your brain.
- Do not let failure become part of your personality. The failure - that's what happened to you, not what you have. Susan Tardaniko from the magazine «Forbes» explains that just because you have not found a successful way to do something, does not mean that you are a loser. Be careful not to blur the line between error and those who made the mistake. We characterize our actions, but not the error. In the end, you describe the actions you have taken, to bring failure and success.
3. Look at other people's neudachiDazhe for a moment think that you - the only person on earth, failing. We often look at the success of others and think that they have everything, while the reality is that they are faced with setbacks as often as the others. Some are simply better hide it, but the failure of universal. Before you start beating yourself for a miss, take a look at the world and you will see how often a failure at all.
What successful people you would want to be like? Take a look at setbacks they have encountered at work and in life. Read biographies, diaries, listen to speech. Successful people are talking about the failures as often as the success, because they understand how important it is to take them. Even the greatest people in our time, fell, and fell very low.
Have your friends and family, too, there have been setbacks. Think about the failures they have encountered, and remember that you are not alone. This is not a laughing matter, but a way to show yourself that failure is nothing to worry about. After all, we are all humans.
4. Change your definition neudachi
We have already mentioned that failure - is it good? It can be difficult to understand, but the change in the definition of failure can help you cope. Failure - a training and nurturing capabilities necessary for future development.
Robert Spedinger compiled a list of statements that will help you give your definition of failure:
failure - an integral part of the path to success and self-fulfillment; every time you step out of your comfort zone and try something new century, failure is inevitable; Every failure brings you closer to the goal in one step; failure - a great teacher, it gives you the most valuable lessons in life; Every failure makes you stronger and better; mistakes are not important, as long as you learn from them and not repeat them; failure teaches you that a certain approach may not be ideal for a particular situation, and that there are other, better ways; Successful people never laugh at you and will not condemn you, because they themselves were in your place, and because of failures received a lot of valuable lessons; no matter how often you fail, you are not a failure until he surrenders; every time you fail, your fear of failure is reduced, which allows you to deal with more problems. Every mistake teaches you something, and after you've gone through the emotions, it is important to look at your mistakes with a new perspective. Think about what you have done and what went wrong, and see what else you've done and what went right, and what you can do better next time.
5. Start a new project to take its umPosle tribulation period, try again, or start something new. Fill your head with thoughts of a new problem, that in it there is no room for negativity. Do not completely drown out their mistakes - so you will not learn - and stops on the ones you do not need too.
Start a new project and concentrate on it. Directed by Hayao Miyazaki offers to keep ready some ideas that you can always continue working on them. Nothing takes your mind as hard work. If you need to some time to distract from the work, get a hobby. They have to like you, and you should be in it good to move on. The main thing - to switch their attention and give yourself time to remember that failure - is not end of the world.
Best of failure that you always have a second chance. Angel Chernoff of «Marc and Angel Hack Life» notes that the error - it's just a form of practice:
«Every great artist was first an amateur. The sooner you get comfortable in practice and make mistakes, the quicker you get the skills and knowledge needed to achieve excellence in your business. You will never be 100% sure that everything will turn out, but you can be 100% sure that if we do nothing, nothing will come. So try again. Either you will succeed or get a life lesson. You will win in any case ».
blockquote> I hate somewhat failed again and again - absolutely fine, but as soon as you rent - it's a failure.
Remember, failure is inevitable, but they do not define you. They bring you a favor, as well as preparedness. Make fail tool first step on your way. There is nothing wrong if you feel like a loser when this happens, but losing the battle - not to lose the war.
via factroom.ru