Odessa Humor - Delicious and ruthless :) Bashny.Net

- Rose Markovna, and Shaw is at your feet are crooked fingers?
- Due to the belief ...
- What kind of opinion?
- I am convinced, I sho 35th the size of his feet.

- My husband is 50 years. The difference between us in 20 years.
- Oh, congratulations!
- What?
- Well, of course, for his 70 years, you still look pretty good!



- Rose Moiseevna, how old are you?
- That every year different!

- Moishe, you do not know how we are working tomorrow?
- Reluctant ...

- Hello, Celia, what do ve?
- The same can be engaged in a respectable married woman at 10 pm ?! I sit, eat ...

- Izzy, we'll go home with you?
- Little Sophie, how do you want?
- And how to say, "Porsche" or "porshe»?
- Honey, the same right to say: "trollEybus».

An elderly couple came on a visit to another of the same. While grandmother are busy in the kitchen, grandparents talk in the room.
- Last week we went to a new restaurant did not like.
- And what kind of restaurant?
- Out of my head. What do you call that red flower that you give to someone you love?
- Tulip?
- No.
- Dahlia?
- There is none.
- Rose?
- Similarly, rose.
(in the kitchen):
- Rose, the name of the restaurant we went to last week?



- Sarochka, I decided that I'll never swear to you!
- No, you look at him, he decided to ... And I asked you ?!

- Sam, sho most important thing in female beauty?
- Mouth!
- And the shape, color, size? ..
- No. The main thing shoby it was closed.

Rabinovich at a reception in the clinic:
- Doctor! Look for my other diseases. This is too expensive.

- If you do not have high blood pressure, osteoarthritis, cars, apartments, furniture and maintenance ... then you are young and you still all ahead.

- Listen, Chaim, have you ever had to hide, sho you a Jew?
- What's the point, Yasha? Where do the same, in your opinion, could hide the natural intelligence in my eyes, proud profile and impeccable manners?

- Sarah, you have a dream?

- Yes, to lose weight.

- Why do not you grow thin?

- And still live without dreams ?!





- Yesterday I was a night burned 800 calories.
- Oh, Rose, I also want to dictate - I'll write!
- A record sho? I put the chicken in the oven and forgot!

- My Pesia ever whines: "Mine is nothing to wear, nothing to wear mine!»
- Oh, Fima! I beg you! Give her a sack of potatoes, and let them wear!

The couple went to the bus. On the output passes a young girl in a short skirt. Her husband accompanies her a long look. Wife:
- Well, sho, Marik, and it was worth that I sho Chiba arrange home?

- Sarochka, darling, let's agree: I say it's delicious, and it is you never cook!

- Do you have a sleeping pill?
- There.
- What is the cost?
- 500 hryvnia.
- 500 hryvnia ?! Yes, if I give a sleeping pill for 500 hryvnia - I was never able to sleep!

- Such impudence I've never seen! And you can still see?