Sometimes we want to yell at the kids. Normally, this impulse starts in moments of emotional outbursts, frustration and tantrums. The majority of us realize that the cries of punishment in what good will not result. They reduce the trust of the child to us and, even worse, hurt his self-esteem. Ultimately, this leads to more behavior problems.
Instead, the process of education is to create reasonable limits for children and sympathize with them, because all of the new path of knowledge is very difficult. Then they grow up confident and emotionally healthy adults. In addition, it will simplify your parent task.
With the help of this article you will be able to raise children without yelling and punishment. You know what to do for parents to control their negative emotions.
1. Take care of yourself and feel good about yourself
The more you take care of yourself, the more satisfaction you get, and with it additional energy. If you're tired, you control yourself will be much more difficult, and therefore, at any time can be broken. So start the day set aside time exclusively for themselves. In addition, should do meditation, yoga or exercise. Try periodically to talk with him as you will talk to the child. Do not use voice notes of criticism. At first it will seem strange, but eventually you get used to and do not notice how you begin to use the same intonation to communicate with the child.
2. Respect their boundaries
You can lose your balance if the child often becomes the acceptable. But remember that most often to blame yourself. I understand that sometimes you do not say "no" to prevent a tantrum or just stay "good". Remember that the creation of reasonable limits - that's your job. Loving a child - does not mean all the time to give him what he asks. Adhering to this principle, you will prevent many more tantrums.
3. Remember that a child!
When you take a child with them in a public place, you should not expect that it will behave as an adult. He can not, for example, sit quietly for an hour in the restaurant. Going out into the street with the child, I remember that he always gets a new life experience. So forget about such feelings as shame. When you drop its unrealistic expectations, then he will begin to enjoy the pleasure of raising a child.
4. Control your fear
As soon as you start to worry about the bad behavior of the child, he feels and follows the road on which you are his guides. If you're going to talk to him constantly that he is bad, he will become so.
5. Fight with the past
Children can cause feelings of your own childhood. Do not project your past on the child. Just give him the love and understanding that are necessary.
6. Create "anchor»
Make yourself a physical stimulus in the moment of maximum tranquility and relaxation. For example, connecting the thumb and middle fingers. So you'll get some "anchor". When you want to shout at the child, fingers together, you will remember the good, "anchor" pull you in positive emotions, and you calm down.
7. Get rid of the guilt
Guilt and shame - it is the lowest emotions that a person can experience. Somewhere on the other side there are love and compassion. If you think that you are not doing enough for the child, then most likely, you cheat yourself in vain. Drive those thoughts away. Remember that in every moment of training, you are like a normal parent, doing the most for their child.
8. Make sure you spend enough time with the child
Warning - this is one of the main children's needs. Sometimes the child's emotional outbursts are the result of lack of attention. You gave him too much freedom. He wants to feel your love as your limitations and directions. Therefore, in certain moments it is necessary to completely devote themselves to the child. He does not need you to constantly was near. Suppose you do not spend that much time together, but in these moments you should not be distracted by anything else.
9. Give your child free time
Once the need for love and attention will be realized, the child will take time for self-study of the world. It must evolve to recognize your body and objects around him. The older the child, the greater the distance at the same time you should be. For small, of course, to watch, but you make sure you do not intervene unless absolutely necessary.
10. The child must feel that he understands
Understanding is very important for the child. You should not indulge all his whims, but it does not relieve your obligation to understand his feelings. « I understand that you like to paint the face, and I see that you're angry because I took the paint em>» or « I know what you want to eat chocolate all day. I would also like it to. But now you need to eat some vegetables, to maintain our health em> ». The child can resist a little more, but still he saw that you understand him. In most cases, this will reduce his emotional outburst.
11. Advance warning of change in the child's activity
Some children react to emotional swings. They need to give time for them to adjust. For example, repeatedly warn the child that soon will need to go to sleep. For the 10, 5 and 1 minute.
12. Respect your child's personality
Maybe your child is living in a small body, still does not know how much and in need of constant care. But he is a separate person, and it must be respected. Try to talk to him as an adult, do not raise your voice. In relation to her use the word "I" instead of "Mom" or "Dad».
13. Show respect for your child's body
Always tell your child, if you want to take it on hand or just touch him. You can start with the earliest years: « I will lift you now. One, two, three ... em> »During the games to show respect, if a child says" no "and wants to stay. He must understand that you respect his choice.
14. Seek help
If you feel tired, do not be ashamed to admit it. Tell your significant other, or a nurse, or grandparents of the child, you need to relax. Remember that asking for help - this is not a sign of weakness. This requires unprecedented boldness.
We hope that these tips will help keep your nerves you and your chubby little boy. To receive only the pleasure of parenting. If you have friends that this stuff looks interesting, you will certainly tell them about it.
via takprosto cc