Burmese safari Bashny.Net

It was in the 90s. I was working on a ship like "Panfilov Heroes" in the Black Sea Shipping Company. The crew was 28 people. The ship should have our port of Yokohama - Japan to Rangoon - Burma.
Since food prices in Japan compared to the prices in Singapore by which we had to pass, they were high. That is our captain, despite the fact that the products, especially meat on the ship to an end - decided to make the purchase in Singapore. What, in general, doing almost all our ships at the time. Here are just a few hours before the arrival of the ship to Singapore, the master receives a message from the shipping company that parohodskie all ships calling at Singapore arrested for debt. Therefore, we must pass. Well past - so near, fuel and water on board is sufficient, and the products purchased in Burma.
But the arrival of the vessel in Burma, it turned out that the port is located on the river. And give birth to large vessels in the river only on big water, which is 2 times a month, and in front of us in line a few more ships. So we stand at anchor in the outer roads at least a month.
Raid anchorage is located far from the coast. Beach - a real swamp, and no major settlements there, and accordingly there is no government or supply. Our entire crew of sad, because to stand a month without food and smokes sad.
But it was not so bad - saved the enterprising locals. Every few days, the local natives, the rather large wooden boats to the ship supply all that is necessary to sailors - food, alcohol and women. As it turns out, you can pay not only money, but also barter - fuel, paint, etc.
One such boat came to us. She looked quite exotic. Wood, a fairly large - 15 meters in length, 2 aft and even 3-deck. On the deck among the cells with birds (mostly hens and geese) roamed a few goats and a small camp housed locals. Wherever possible taut rope - which is dried in a mixed fish and clothes.
In the negotiations it was sent Mate. First, he knew English better than anyone, and secondly as a true Odessa good at bargaining. The talks lasted two hours with a truly oriental passion - with tragic grimaces, wringing hands, gesturing to the sky and shouts like "I have been trading at a loss", and & quot; You let me in the world & quot ;. In the end, to everyone's satisfaction - consensus was reached. In just a few barrels of diesel fuel (on board was unaccounted surplus) were purchased a box of cigarettes, a couple of boxes of local whiskey «Black Eagle», a few bags of rice, a bag of sugar, a pig of 250 kg of live weight and the rooster, who exec bargain purely out of principle - to him have the last word.
Well, bags, barrels and containers handled quickly left the boat to raise a pig. Pigs were transported by boat rather original way. Since diving lasted several days and places little Hryundelya then placed in a cramped space underneath the deck. And since Gilt hefty and if it starts to brawl - it will spread all nafig boat is allowed under the deck through a hose from the engine exhaust gases - just enough to sow and choked, and to force the sharp movement she was not there. In general, we have lowered the net crane where a pig in a semiconscious state and rolled.
When we raised it and lowered to the deck already on our ship - the pig finally felt the sweet smell of fresh air and freedom. Very jumping, with a loud squeal she Rushed straight through the crowd hesitated sailors towards the tank. People were swept away as the pins in a bowling alley with a successful hit the ball. Thank God there were no injuries.
And then began the safari. A crowd of sailors from the net, ropes and loops, swearing loudly and with enthusiasm worthy of a better, chasing a pig around the ship. Pig, reasonably thinking that it wants to do something bad, prisoners did not surrender. Attempts to capture the enemy by brute force to no avail. Finally tired to run the seamen gave the cook to try his luck. With gentle words and a bucket with the remnants of dinner was a wild animal tamed and tied at the stern.
Cook the way was a remarkable person - a woman of about 40, a short, dark-skinned and thin as a rake, completely gypsy appearance, with a mouth full of gold teeth. When talking - only one word of the three was censorship - with particular very sociable and kind, very respected by the crew, and the main thing perfectly cooked.
At an impromptu council it was decided not to touch the pig is - let depart from stress and a bit fattening. So she lived on the stern of the next few days - adjusting the health food scraps from the galley. Sanitary question is easily solved - all wastes were washed overboard jet of water from a fire hose. Rooster - a handsome man with a colored tail, was also placed in the stern and every morning waking the crew loud doodle.
The next few days, on the sidelines of the smoking room and excitedly discussed the fate of pigs. Not exactly her fate and the fate of its individual parts. Each group had its own opinion. There were disputes between the groups in the transition to the individual and sometimes a miracle does not end fights. But the last word still always remained for a cook - a horseradish argue and beating women as it is not accepted. Of course there were also the opposition "Greenpeace" who said that saying "sorry pig" and "let's let go", but after the second week without meat their voices silenced.
Finally, plan utilization mortal remains pig was drawn up and approved. Kill the pig took minder - a hefty guy who lives somewhere in a village in western Ukraine, and more than once, he said, cut pigs. To help him choose a few others - who have stronger nerves. Pig surrounded on all sides, she put the bag on his head sharply fell on its side, and a sharp mechanic, verified motion stabbed her through the heart. He did not lie - the pig died almost instantly and suffered only lastly, in agony piled right on his shoes assassin huge pile of smelly liquid and dermis.
Now, faced with the problem - how obshmalit carcass? Hryundel was a local breed - very hairy, we did not have any dogs so much as a hair on it. Blowtorch on the vessel did not have a gas burner too. Rags to dizelkoy also not suitable - diesel fuel will stink. "Kulibins" of the car made the unit - an old metal bucket welded long handle. The bottom of the bucket knocked out, and instead inserted a coarse grid. On top of the bucket fastened fan to blow through the bucket thoroughly. The bucket ignited wooden coals - get a small and environmentally friendly flame-thrower. That this flamethrower and obshmalili pig roasting interspersed with scraping knife and zamyvkoy.
Then the pig butchered, salted lard in three different ways. Part of the meat went to the barbecue, which is somehow spontaneously and immediately organized in conjunction with the local whiskey tasting. The balance went to the meat oholozhdenie in Ref. chamber. Even ulcers are not lost -Povariha them thoroughly washed and subsequently did amazingly delicious sausages.
Rooster few weeks he lived in the stern, becoming everyone's favorite. But one morning was gone, leaving only a few traces of blood and feathers. Most likely, he fell victim to unknown birds of prey, sometimes circling high in the sky.
Our anchoring delayed, and subsequently we have not once had with local Aborigines fruitful business relationship, including pigs - food, there was also, and a love story, but that's another story.
January 2012
Shyrkan ©

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