Jokes on Thursday 04/10/12 Bashny.Net

Well, it was summer. The height of the holiday, sun, heat, trips to the sea ...
My husband decided to send his wife to rest. And that it is not cheated on him, he drew her tractor. She is there alone ... and picked up a fancy man himself. And so long as they are there ... Tractor erased. What to do??? Let's draw back. Paintings ... The question arose as the smoke was coming from the pipe or not? Well, let's draw the smoke. Wife arrives home. My husband says - shows. Well, she reveals. That said on the site. A husband - oh so fucked that brought a tractor ...

Dinner family: father, mother and son. The son does not eat porridge. Mother swears. He was crying. Father whispered something in his ear. Son eats porridge and quickly runs away to walk.
Mother puzzled asks the father:
- What did you tell him?
- He said that if there is to eat porridge, the member will not grow.
Mother takes a spoon and with all the dope beats his father's forehead.
- For what?!
- For the fact that a child does not eat porridge.

Chatting in ICQ.
She: Well, good night, I went to shit.
He: xD
She: Oh, I described
He: xDD

He called the king of French, German and Russian and says:
 - It's time my three daughters married. Here you zyatyami and my will! Here you by horse, but who on earth the royal proskachet, that land will be his as a dowry.
Frenchman rode. Rode 1:00, dismounted and said:
 - Enough of us and of the vineyards and the winery, and the villa. More
and our children enough!
I jump German. Rode for 2 hours, dismounted and said:
 - Suffice it to me. There is a brewery, where pig farm. In general, there is enough for both us and the children and grandchildren!
Then came the turn of Russian. He sat on his horse and gallop vdaril. Rides hour, second, third, fourth on the horse could not stand and fell. He got out from under Russian and run. Running a half hour, falling exhausted, he throws his hat forward and shouts:
 - And this is for the tomatoes! ..

In the first class the teacher had difficulties with one of the students.
She asked, "What is it, boy?»
Boy
He replied: "I'm too smart for the first class. My sister is in the third, and I
smarter than her! I think I also have to learn in the third! »
For teacher
it was too much. She took the boy to the director and explained the whole
situation. The director thought, and said to the boy: "I'll take the test, and if you
can not answer any of the questions, then return back to
first class, and will behave ».
The boy agreed.
 - How much is a 3 x 3? & Quot;
 - 9
 - How much is 6 x 6?
 - 36
And so it went with every question that, according to the director,
third-grader should know the answer. Then the director turned to
the teacher and I said, "I think the boy can go to the third class».
Then the teacher said, "I, too, have their questions:
 - What does a cow have the number 4, and I only have 2?
The boy replied, after a pause:
 - Legs
 - And what is in your pants that is not in my?
 - Pockets
 - What's in hard and pink - when it enters, and soft and sticky - when
out?
Director dumbfounded with open eyes, and did not have time to get ahead of the answer.
 - Gum!
 - What makes a man - standing woman - sitting and dog - on three legs?
Now director of the eyes actually bulged wide, but before he could, to say something, the boy replied:
 - Provides hands
 - Now I'm going to ask 7 questions from the category of WHO AM I ?: You stick me with your number. I get wet before you do?
 - Tent
 - As part of my finger. The best man gets me first?
 - Engagement Ring
 - I have a tight core. My end is stuck. In a move I'm shaking?
 - Arrow
 - What is the word in the English language begins with F and ends in K, and means a lot of heat and excitement?
 - Firetruck »(Pozharka)
 - What word starts with F and ends in K? If not,
you have to work with your hands?
Fork (Fork)
"It is in all men, someone is longer, someone shorter.
The man is giving his wife after the wedding?
 - Last
 - Which body no bones, muscles, and there are many veins. It pulsates and is responsible for making love?
 - Heart
The director sighed with relief and said to the teacher:
Send fuck him right to the university !!! In the last 7 questions I'll answer wrong!





Source: