JOHANNESBURG. Zombie Attack.

This is for you to smile.) And to think. Great article Russian traveler about what led tolerance in South Africa. Russian is written with black humor, which we have, as you know, most of the planet black (blacker than YuARovskie Zulus). Article large but expensive edition is highly recommended to master. Yes, and you do not come off when you start.)

JOHANNESBURG. Zombie Attack.

"1. We begin immediately with the findings.
Apartheid was abolished in vain. And it no doubt!
2. Now tezisno.
Johannesburg put!
City captured baboons vampires and werewolves.
White people do not do.
I am seen only one, and he was homeless and homeless people are known to be internationalists abruptly Comintern.
White sit at home and stick to work on the streets trying not to appear.
3. Now in more detail.
We had to hang out in Johan pear nine hours. We persuaded Mikhailovich, who talked of the suicide bomber, we bring their ride into the city center. We are still the fools, the brave one another, they say the main access to the center, and even there we are, bitch, show everybody who the Russians derzhavniki.
...
Not shown.
Why is that? My answer diplomatically veiled, right.
We are crap.
Going to Johannesburg, from the height of the plateau, the city looks very wow.
Beautiful, large, modern. Many high-rise buildings, a lot of English parks. Catches the eye of a beautiful Victorian building. Green lawn, blue sky.
When we drove in, the picture was not so rosy.
City cast.
There is no electricity.
Rubbish not collected.
Sewage is not working.
Only cleared the road for the transport and traffic lights work only.
And it was still only in the center, where you can drive kakbe and where there is no guarantee that banged.
Before leaving the city, the carrier, which persuaded Mikhailovich, gave us an introduction.
He said being a bit on edge, often sgladyvaya, instinctively glancing back.
"If bleat want to live, do a bitch just like I'm telling you.
The city did not yell for attention do not attract!
Photoeqipment NOT looms!
IPhone, bitch, is not lit in the windows!
Black eyes do not look!
And most importantly ... windows do not open!
Because bleat, may suddenly fall post and block the road, and we will take by storm ghouls.
And remember that I have kids .. »
We drove two hours in the middle.
The bus was a deathly silence.

To understand what happened, you need a little history.
In 1992, the year of the abolition of apartheid, respectively, the year the abolition of the rules of segregation, removed restrictions on movement within the country. In that year, simultaneously, from the savannah to migrate to the city of more than two million black baboons.
(By the way, in Africa, there is a negative attitude to the word black.
Local divided into three categories, according to skin tone.
Belye- descendants of colonial settlers.
Tsvetnye- descendants imported from India, Indochina and Indonesia labor force.
Chernye- came from central Africa Zulu tribes and Bantu.
Intermediate option I have not seen, from which he concluded that the group did not interbreed.
Of these three categories in this territory is no indigenous population. White colonists arrived in the desert areas inhabited by tribes of the Hottentots Minorities, whose speed and plagued by root disease and black tribes.
Once in the country, these groups began to cross, white conceived to divide the country on the territory-segregation, restrictions on movement is not the case, from one part to another. Incidentally, one of the first fighters for equality in the rules for determining where to live, was none other than Mahatma Gandhi. He opened the season the struggle against apartheid, and he belonged to a group of non-ferrous. Ironically, most of all, at the time of apartheid suffered just colored. Black first smashed their neighborhoods because they believed their lackeys white collaborators. )
So, at one point, treacherously, without declaring war, the city entered a couple of millions of black settlers, opening the era of African reconquest. They just took off from their homes and went to where the smells.

Mikhalych while Johan lived in and told the following story.
At the height of the working day, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, came Achtung.
We opened the door of the office center, and knowing a little organized and spontaneous, but fun and positive in their office building leaked a few thousand blacks. The guests arrived with their belongings and belongings. They were asked not to pay attention to them, and continue to work, and in the meantime began to develop effectively used in their view area. They are equally resolved to offices, taking the free chairs, sofas and chairs, occupied the toilets and corridors, passing shooting from the surrounding on all souvenirs that they were brilliant.
The building is filled with life and joyful bustle. The corridors were killed and disemboweled bird in negotiating cooked, toilets took a bath.
In a polite question: "What do you mean?", They simply replied that now they will live here.
When asked: "With the dick right? How so? ", They replied that since everything will be better.
...
They called the cops.
Cops did not arrive.
Cops said they can not yet, as they have in areas such as garbage going on.
Then all who could, quietly began to flee to the suburbs and in the direction of Cape Town, simultaneously erecting defensive lines. Ditches, rows of barbed dragged energized fences. The last area of ​​Johannesburg, where he meets a white man, a suburb of Pretoria.
After the exodus of the owners of the buildings began to think what to do.
Invented.
They decided that if the vampires turn off the light and water from sewage, they leave the building, and he will return to Savannah.
Switch off.
Ghouls do not even notice.
It looks like they have in the savannah and so there was no light, no water or sanitation. I asked Mikhailovich, and where they then shit?
Mikhalych replied that they themselves fought for a long time on this issue and when we learned the answer was much frappirovany.
It turned out that the ghouls, settling in the buildings, could not understand the functionality of elevator shafts. When the invaders otkovyryali door, wondering for a long time, spitting down why this hole.
And then I guess, and paid tribute to the intelligence of the white man.
How cleverly invented all white, Shvonder thought, and began to spoil, and to dump garbage in the elevator shafts.
In the words Mikhailovich, a crowd of ghouls, capturing the building, in the middle of his litter on the roof in the middle of the decade. Well then, just as in the good prehistoric times, it migrates to a new pasture, populating the new skyscraper.
It was getting dark.

We drove through the streets of Johannesburg, and without looking, tightly clinging to the window, his eyes devouring the surrounding reality. Before we sailed looks luxurious home with something which already exposed windows, wandering back and forth with the ghouls, with no signs of illumination. Somewhere in the gaps of windows, we could see the fires flickering in the depths of the building.
But in fairness, I should add that there is still a glimmer of life.
Again, the words Mikhailovich, to Johann, a new informal services.
Some strong guys offer to owners of buildings captured ghouls service for reotzhimu building.
At some point, pulls up to the building a couple of hundred strong men, armed to the teeth, and peace and quiet, trying not to wake peacefully puffing ghouls begin to spin the building, very tough vydushivaya all invaders.
And until they came to their senses and went to ask again: "And what exactly was it at all?", Brewed all inputs and outputs, dig ditches, pull wire and let current through it.
Then, after the result in the sense of knowledge, it again allowed into operation.
So live the remnants of white and colored population in the suburbs outside the fence of barbed wire under tension. In the morning sit on their cars, without stopping to leave the enclosure of its reserves to work. Way through more and less groomed trail, dive into the gated-hole under the reclaimed building underground parking, and more are already on their jobs.
And I have noticed a funny thing. If there is two living buildings to get from one building to another, they had built in level of 10-11 floors. That is, they can even to each other walk in guests at this transition. The main thing is not to look down on the streets of the city, which scurry zombies.
Enough to ride around the city, Mikhalych brought us to the main square, the historic center event marked the beginning of the struggle against apartheid. He brought and said go, he says he will continue to broadcast in the history.
We initially refused to come. They said that we point each brother we get off the bus and the bus it perfectly audible. Mikhalych said not to piss, they say, there safely. Kakbe large area, good review, and if ghouls will, then we have them on the distant approaches note and fell.
We left then walk. Out with us and Shindin. That it was not sykotno, Andrew took a vuvuzela.
What no, as a phallic symbol.
At one point, he got bored, Pomaia and began to unwind somehow play the pipe in her mother vuvuzela.
Bleat!
We barely had time to evacuate the bus.
Zombie raised a cry vuvuzelas as quickly began to get out of their holes, we are somewhat startled by such speed. Newest already on the move, jump Mikhailovich, throwing his feet fled towards us vampires small bills.

By the way helped. Arranged Mihalych landfill greatly slowed ghouls, and we were able to slip away without loss.
After all seen, we asked Mihalychu malicious question, and how it relates to the abolition of apartheid?
Mikhalych the blue eyes began to us that the rub, that all is not in vain ... for ... and that he hopes that ... for the sake of the world the values ​​of democracy ... they are people, too, though outright this can not be seen ... but otherwise would have us all here differently differently ...
His speech was interrupted Shindin, kakbe summarizing it Mikhailovich, and our journey.
 - Mikhalych! NOT pussy!

P.S.
In the eyes Mikhailovich, we guessed that Shindin hit the nail on the head.

P.P.S.
At the time of the abolition of apartheid in South Africa it has its own space program. The country possessed nuclear technology and weapons. In South Africa, the world's first heart transplant made.
Currently, space and nuclear program collapsed, scientists, as well as half of the white population fled the country.
Currently, the country's president is comrade Jacob Zuma.
The nature nordic.
Zulu.
Polygamist.
Repeatedly accused of rape.
The society is particularly widely discussed rape worker unit. The piquancy of the story is that the employee was HIV positive, but it did not bother Zuma. Speaking to reporters, he said that in his office there is a sink with water, and after the act, he immediately washed his dick so that the nation can not worry about his health.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Zuma has repeatedly officially declared that he represented the people of Zulu, no longer intends to transfer power into someone's hands »©.

Taken from the magazine: tannen.livejournal.com/66587.html





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