... - Much I imagine many people simply from the fact that, intentionally or unintentionally, sometimes made across their conscience. But not this. Just do not and still yearning for something hopeful view of his six-year old daughter when I was leaving the family.
Many years ago I had what is sometimes with us, man, it happens. I fell in love with someone else's reckless woman, another man's wife, which became dearer to me, closer and their desirable. And he went after her, fascinated.
Sooner or later, all the secret becomes clear. Our town is small, and soon the good people notified my wife, I've got another woman. I initially unlocked cowardly as he could, but by the time his wife has grown cold, and she felt that way, and therefore did not believe me. And once accidentally saw us together.
No, nothing like that, we just went with the bus, but the woman then said that I looked at her, so tenderly and gently touched her, she knew. Well, everything flooded me out of the house. And as if I had been waiting for this. My beloved, too, left the family, we secretly filmed a one-bedroom apartment and enjoyed each other and our relative freedom.
But there I remained absolutely still young daughter. And she still could not grasp why her favorite folders that it doted, stopped coming home. A declared only once a week, on Sunday to take her to the park, cinema, ice cream treat, kiss, and again disappear for a week.
And every time I brought her back to the appointed time in the yard and sent to the published out of the house to meet his mother, the daughter began to cry and call me home. And I ... And I left. He left, taking with her a reproachful look and uncomprehending: why I'm going, why not go back home with her. She asked me about it. I mumbled something about the fact that we had a falling out with her mother that ever make it up, and then I will continue to live at home. Although he no one believed his word.
All my trouble was that even being next to her daughter, I could not stop thinking about the one that stood between us.
Of course, I was not made of iron, and my heart hurts every time sank at the sight of the suffering of a loved one. Yes, and I can hardly wait next Sunday to talk with little daughter, by the way, very similar to me. And of course, I always thought about, and how it will grow without me? And suddenly the wife to marry, and a daughter will bring up a foreign man, indifferent to it, and then barely tolerate it?
And I began to waver and can go home? Step on the throat of his own song, you have to give up their love for the sake of her daughter? But here there was irreparable, which is why I could not give a backstop.
During my regular visits with her daughter, she, as usual, innocently babbling about various things, suddenly said such a thing, I stumbled and nearly fell.
- Who do we have to stay? - Trying to be calm, I said.
- Uncle Valera - repeated daughter. - And go, Dad, buy ice cream ...
- Come on already, go. And where he slept, his uncle Valera?
- With Mom - naively said docha. - On my mother's bed ...
I clenched fists. Can a child fantasizes? Though what she is. Uncle Valera, our neighbor docha knew well. He lived next door. We were friends families celebrated together, they have, we have, holidays, some family celebrations.
Then Valerina wife Luba was seriously ill, she turned out to be a brain tumor. It ready for operation at the regional hospital, but did not have time. So Valera was left alone with eight-year son. But he yearned for long. A man looking, sociable, and he never missed an opportunity Ljube go to the left.
Lyuba knew about it and called her husband's "Niva", which he dissected in our city after a day on the shift bus blyadovozkoy. I knew very worried, but tolerated - loved, probably, Valery, and the family did not want to ruin. And now he-goat, and my wife got up.
Valera has long looked askance at my Zinka, and here such an opportunity - I left her. He said as usual, on a visit, drank, probably a bottle for two, complaining to each other on a lonely life, so much so pitied each other and turned in bed. There, you bastards!
"Handing" daughter after our Sunday walks wife, I could not restrain himself, and sarcastically said to her:
-Well, I have found themselves comforter?
Zinaida looked at dochu, realized that it had somehow betrayed and defiantly replied:
- Found! Do not you also one somersault with women ...
That's all. She is sick of me immediately. It was not jealousy. It was a feeling insulted owner. No one had the right to touch my wife, my property. And once Zinka allowed it - it does not matter whether the revenge to me or have there a Valera some feelings were born, I did not care for it - now it has none other than bitch and prostitute
I was beside myself. But just I turned and walked silently to a halt. And he heard behind him a desperate cry:
This is the only native voice could stop me now. But I was so hurt and offended by the recognition of the wife of infidelity, which just barely turned and angrily waved his hand - "Yes, you go!". Again my heart scratched this look daughter, so, you know, askance, full and resentment and hope.
... My companion choked, coughed, rubbed a hand over his face - I even thought that he wiped away a tear, - reached for a bottle of beer, took a sip of it and put it back on the table. We met in the compartment CB express train "Krasnoyarsk-Khabarovsk», rushing now black night fall through the boundless Siberian taiga to the west.
Recently I avoid flying on airplanes, especially after the crash, one after another, killing two people close to me, and I have, in fact, there is a real aerophobia. Why is rapid movement on the plane as it was considered more preferred to train my neighbor - I do not know. Perhaps for similar reasons. For two days we almost became friends, although our conversations on the discussion of rising prices for gasoline and the situation around Syria is not moved.
Today, like never drank anything except a cold beer, courtesy of the conductor offered to us troublesome. But it was enough to Vadim Sergeyevich, enough intelligent-looking man of about fifty, suddenly "break" to be frank.
He said apparently syndrome "traveling companion", to which you can turn your soul, knowing that more of it will most likely not meet. True, he said Vadim S. is not as smooth as I am now expounding his story - excited yet, jumps from one thought to another, sometimes he clenched his fists, a couple of times even gritted his teeth.
I politely kept quiet, only occasionally nodding yes confining vague sniff, as if encouraging interlocutor for further revelations.
But here Vadim Sergeyevich himself fell silent, staring blankly at the glass window behind which floated the jagged dark silhouettes moving to the rail of the taiga.
I could not bear the first and also sipping a gulp already started to warm light Czech, asked:
- And what happened next, Vadim Sergeyevich?
- Farther? - I roused my companion. - What's next? We left with my new love in the Far East, she has relatives there. And in fact, not just left, and fled. My wife, realizing, finally, that I'm not going to forgive her and return home began to hang all the bodies to us there propesochili and made after a run of their families: to the trade union there, the leadership of the trust, where she worked my Svetlana, to my carpool, where I was the head of the column. And the husband of Svetlana somehow waylaid me and his friends ... Oh, and I broke it! Well, next to a police outfit he passed, and they just washed away. Finally Svetlana's husband kicked me once more, already lying, and hissed, that the next time they kill me and that I draw conclusions. But the police, I did not say who it was - the bullies, they say, usually asked to smoke, and I do not smoke.
In general, battered us our former spouses nerves, well, so we decided to go far away from everyone. And appeared in Birobidzhan. For more than twenty years there. Normally we live. I am, however, a simple mechanic work, Sveta kadrovichkoy we have the same in the database. The apartment had to get out there and privatized dacha got - there is still growing, the climate is wonderful. She asks me, and gave birth to a son, a good guy up, now in the army, the contract was ...
- And there like you? .. - I asked cautiously when our conversation again, there was a pause.
- Yes, like anything - immediately said Vadim Sergeyevich. - I'm talking about the daughter will never forget, and forget how when this one of her last look haunted me all my life. Guilt never left me for what I did, so I lyubivshuyu, threw someone else's uncle. Zinka something my then married this most of my neighbor, Valery, imagine. Docha And as it turned out later, and did not call him dad - only Uncle Valera. We texted, called up. I told her honestly pay alimony, and moreover, when he could send money. She paid for his studies at the college, then sent the money for treatment when she got into an accident. At the wedding I gave money ...
Vadim S. as reported to me about the performance of his paternal responsibilities to his daughter left, and I understand why he's doing it - it is still the conscience of the wine press, and in this way it is treated before unknown to him man. Although that was special that he did? Millions of divorce and leave their children. This, then at least financially helping her daughter, and the majority of fact, I've read recently, is on the run, but would not pay a penny for the maintenance of their children. So compared to other fathers Vadim S. virtually infallible. Oh, I knew he would! ..
- This is the first time going there, to her - suddenly a warmer voice interrupted my thoughts Vadim Sergeyevich. - The wife let - my grandson was born! Docha called to see! ..
And it was so much joy in his voice, I could not help him envied.
- Well, what do you say that all remain silent? - Suddenly he asked Vadim S., took a sip of beer and grimaced. - It became quite warm.
And he's questioning eyes staring at me. Whether offering and I pootkrovennichat, or go for a beer. I chose the latter. Although if you do not bring a beer and something stronger, maybe also I share with fellow traveler as myself gnawing. I, too, gave up her child. Son. He was twelve when I'm also fell headlong for another woman.
We, however, will not have left, and continued to live in the same city. And my son is not easy. He demanded that his wife, then a mother it did not take any money from me, saying that they feed themselves, did not go to any contact with me. His wife brought him one, because marriage is no longer so left. And dovospityvalas - son got behind the robbery. Six months later, I found out where he was sitting, and went to see him on a date. And now I come back, they say, empty-handed. No son came to me. For what he did me? It is not like other people ...