The way out of the fog

For a week I was drinking. At first, cognac, vodka, then, port, all horrible. I sleep in the trash, and woke up again walked into the store. Friends came to support: who talk, who just get drunk together. Someone pulled out for a walk with the aim to get acquainted with the girl, what would forget Olga. But every counter, I saw her face. My mind just could not believe that it is no more. Then apartment fed up and I just walked the streets with a bottle in his bosom. The autumn weather - nasty thing presses dampness. I wandered through the morning fog, the rain of the IOC, it is not clear where spent the night shivering. I pressed the cops. Once otpizdili Gopnik. With a broken face and pain in the ribs, I had to go back to the apartment. Few receive medical treatment, I decided to retire somewhere. The apartment, the city - everything is so strange to that shack in the deep woods seemed riding dreams.

Money after the calculation was still working well, I went to the supermarket and bought there cheaper Floor trolley camp food, moderately edible vodka. The rest is put into the pot. Pre-paid for the apartment - once in three months. Then he took out of the closet and picked out all the best and a warm quality stuff, shells bag, dressed, closed the apartment and got into the first bus. I drive off fifteen kilometers from the city and climbed, and then walked over the hills even three kilometers. Finally, I met with a hollow oak grove and I went into it.

For three hours, I was waving an ax and sawed, drank a bottle of vodka and a floor very tired, but he built something like a farce. Then he mangled small branches and put them sleeping. Force left - only wood to coach. I fell the fire, brewed in a soldier's pot noodles, finished off the remnants of vodka and passed out. I woke up from that wildly numb. The fire is not even smoked, and I immediately thought that it was necessary to organize nodyu (taiga fire when the beam falls on the beam vertically, evenly lit and slowly - enough for the whole night). Kindled a fire, ate hot, I put more wood, put the bubble in his bosom and went to explore the area. The weather was certainly not appropriate. Before that attacked a little snow, and then began the thaw and the snow turned into ice gradinki - everything clung ice withered grass crunched under their feet, he stood around the fog. I wandered through the grove, not yet released to the edge, away from which, about fifty meters away, was a mighty huge oak. I sat leaning against a tree and sat so drunk, looked at the tree and thought - that would be such a strong spirit.

But the pain did not pass and the memory never left. I forget vodka. All my actions were limited to what would wake up with a hangover wild, make a fire and get warm, sober, to coach firewood patched circus, eat something and drink again before sleep. Time of day mixed. The weather began to deteriorate, it was rain, then snow, cold wind blew. I do not remember how many days were here. I noticed that the vodka is ending and this has become even more on it to lean. At some point, the body was already on the wane, and the strength to go for firewood was not, I was stiff, wrapped in a sleeping bag, finished the last bottle and felt like falling asleep.

* * *

I dreamed we Olga bathe in the river. Summer is around the greens, the water is so warm and we swim very close, tickling and grabbing each other, play like children, dive and look each other in the water. At one point he emerged, but it was not close. I dived again and again, but could not find it. Then he looked to the shore and saw her there. She was in a white robe light, the trees around were naked from the leaves and there was snow on the ground. I have found that swimming in the hole and around around me cold gray ice. The heart beat faster, I felt like I lose consciousness ...

* * *

I opened my eyes. The first thing he saw - a huge bonfire. He was burning with a bang, sparks carried away high in the sky. By the fire sat a man. Vision after a dream is not yet configured. Or I did not sleep? The body was shaking and broken, cracked head, his mouth was dry as a desert. The mind was too full of horror anxiety bordering on panic. The man slowly stood up and handed me a steaming mug without saying a word. With shaking hands, I took it. By smell - tea with some herbs. I drank a little, mouth feel better. The man took out veschemeshka up, looking more like a small cudgel, fell asleep in it something of lit a charcoal fire and inhaled deeply. Then he handed it to me. I followed his example. It turned out to grass, strong, but did not fight his throat, probably a good grade. We repeated the ritual with the transfer tube seven times. After that it became much easier: tremors subsided, I finally felt the warmth of the fire, his head was too easy and even obvious. I do not know how many minutes we were just so ustavivishis the fire. I tried to get up, what to throw wood, but then realized that no power to do so.
 - Sit down, I'll wood under it, until you get up should not be - is weak, - said the man. His voice was rough, a little hoarse, but good. I did not see his mouth mustache and beard, but it seemed that he was smiling when he spoke.
 - You need to rest. I'll prepare food and tea. And you sit, greysya. I found you almost frozen. My name is Jah. I am a wanderer local. Well, then we'll talk, rest.
I lay back. The sky was black and starry. The forest was quiet, just popped on his Jah fire and muttered under her breath some tunes and every now and then knocking the dishes. Soon the delicious smell shulyum. He pulled me to the pot, and he began to warm tea in a mug. There are like scary shulyum proved delicious and very hot. We ate at a time, drank tea and smoked.
 - Well, tell me how to get here? Why so much vodka? On homeless or drunk it did not seem like? - Cautiously interested Jha. A hangover fever released, it was nice to sit by the fire next to a man who once took care of you. And not once, but you can tell from the death rescued. I decided not to conceal from my new friend.
 - Girls I loved was gone. I washed down hard. Then the city became very sick, and that's gone into the forest. Well, then it is clear, I think ...
 - Clear. Once I ask and I will no longer: the girls did not - is how to understand? Separated, I went to another ... or moved to the other side? - A little pause, he graduated from the issue.
 - The last - I said, and then remembered the last dream in delirium. It was creepy. Jha noticed it, took my hand and said:
 - Calm down. Now everything will be fine. I'll show you the way. The right way of your life.

* * *

 - You need to strengthen the spirit. And for that to understand some of the laws of the world order. Thus gain inner core. Create for yourself a philosophy, at which any life situation will seem trifling. Basically all it is.
Jha taught me his philosophy. In the morning we burned my booth and went to "his" forest. Long walked the hills, then made their way through the thicket, and finally came to a clearing which was surrounded by huge poplars, covered with vines of hops. Holt Jha was a sort of a square tent, only one side was open to heat the fire goes inside. Inside the tent floor was lined with reeds. Near the bonfire rogotulkah hung on everyday objects: pot, cup, ladle and every other. We made a fire, cooked food, a little rest from the road, smoke and went for a walk. Jha wanted to introduce me to the forest and the surrounding area. In general, he said walking is very helpful. We walked and drove leisurely conversation. Rather said more Ja, and I drank.
 - Accept the world as it is, and he's fine, look around! Get rid of the sense of ownership, the desire to possess. Now people are just crazy about the property. They want everything to be just them and no one else. Create idols. And they have no happiness. Because all of something much want to wait, it does not happen - they are upset. A child, for example, do not wait any new and happy.
Indeed, I remember myself as a child - for happiness had quite a bit.

* * *

We walked it every day, constantly talking and I took notes in my head:
 - To accept the world as it is, do not expect miracles
 - If you love someone or something, to love selflessly, without asking
 - If something goes wrong, you can always choose another path, because they are an infinite number of
 - Do not pay attention to the negative society, throw TV
 - Remain indifferent to the feelings of ownership, jealousy, self-pity, introspection
 - Learn to enjoy simple things
 - More to read only good books
 - Find the thing that you would like to find a lot of hobbies
...
Items were replenished every day. Jha said everything in simple words, and I thought I knew it before.

I became physically strong. We were fifteen kilometers a day, swimming in the hole. Often went fishing.

* * *

Once, I was walking through the hills and one wandered to the very oak, whom he admired. He stood still mighty and strong, but now there was fog around, and it shone a bright winter sun. I stood beside him and felt a strength and his kinship with him. My spirit has become so well strong. However much I looked toward the grove with my former abode, the more I realized that there is nothing. The past is no more. Here in the hills, I was a completely new person.

* * *

We said goodbye to Jah very soulful. He gave me his pipe, a bag of grass and an amulet around his neck in the form of the sun.
 - I have nothing to give, Ja. I can only say thank you for everything and you can consider me as their son and vospitanikov.
 - A better gift than hearing these words, I do not need - he said. What you want to do now, when you come to town?
 - All the rubbish thrown out of the apartment. I buy a lot of books. Call your parents and friends that like to apologize. At the expense of things that I love to do: my father was always interested in photography - and I'll try. There is a teacher and a student has a desire - it means everything will turn out. As we have with you. I'm with you again to love nature. And I want to share this feeling with people. I will go all over the country to shoot landscapes, people, writing stories like this about you and me.
 - Be sure to come to photograph the same oak tree! - Said Jha, we smiled at each other and parted.

Instead of an epilogue

... There is a delight in roadless thickets,
Joy is on a mountain slope,
Melody - waves in the surf boiling,
And the voice - in the desert silence.
People love - nature closer to me,
And what it was and then what I'm going,
I forget her alone.
In his heart a great feeling the whole world,
No express or hide that feeling, I can not.

Byron "Childe Harold»





The same oak



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