Surgeons note: funny phrases ...

... Or that the patient did not want to hear, lying on the operating table:

 - It is necessary to preserve the post-mortem studies.

 - Accept this sacrifice, O Lord of Darkness!

 - Wait, wait, if the spleen, then what is this?

 - Oh !!! Hmm? You do not remember the case that anyone survived the infusion of 500 ml of a solution of potassium chloride?

 - Do you know how much is now worth a kidney on the black market? And he had two of them!

 - All stand still and do not move - I lost my contact lenses!

 - Anyone can make this damn thing does not beat her? It prevents me concentrate!

 - And this thing that doing here?

 - Do not need to dramatize - because if you think about it deeply, it is not that it is a great loss to humanity.

 - So it's my wife's lover! What a pleasant meeting!

 - It annoys me when parts are missing!

 - All is ready. Hopefully, I have not forgotten anything inside, like last time?

 - What, you is also the first operation?

 - Yes, the blood is only enough for one. Which of them will be saved?

 - He even managed to have children?

 - Sister, this patient has no one bequeathed their organs?

 - Fire !!! All leave the room!

 - Damn, textbook torn 47th page!

 - See, when you pull for this figovinu, bent leg. And the nerve to do what?

 - Let's finish quickly, and then I have a plane in 2 hours.

 - They say he lived for 20 years in this damn?

 - Hado hurry-anesthesia will suffice for a maximum of 5 minutes.

 - 250 beats - this is probably a bit of a rapid pulse.

 - Well, here you are! I asked you not make me laugh!

 - How many times in the tray? - Shest.- restated. - Shest.- And on the floor? - Hi one. - Then we'll open again.