Jokes 3 Bashny.Net

- Mash, do you like the wind?
 - Well ... actually, yes.
 - Come on, I'll vduyu!

The camp director called Tanya (T) and Vovochku (B) and says:
At night I heard suspicious noises.
T .: Hee-hee-ha-ha!
Q .: Do not be!
 - In the morning I found a condom.
T .: Hee-hee-ha-ha!
Q .: Do not be!
 - It has been used.
T .: Hee-hee-ha-ha!
Q .: Do not be!
 - He was with a hole.
T .: It can not be!
Q .: Hee hee ha ha !!!

Mom Goes to visit:
 - Children, Dad would come home from work drunk, you undress him from the waist up and put to bed.
Children:
 - Mom, why is the belt?
Mom:
 - Below is the serpent, he will bite you.
An hour call.
Mom:
 - Well, that children come to papa?
Children:
 - Dad came we completely undressed and put to bed.
Mom (anxiously):
 - What about the snakes?
Children (proudly):
 - Do not worry, Mom. Snake strangled, crushed eggs, with burned !!!

The girl at the bar is coming to the bartender, and, leaning over the bar, very sexy asks him:
 - Young man, can you for a moment?
He approaches. Girl:
 - You are the owner?
He takes his eye and starts stroking her hair and head.
He leaned toward her, puzzled answers:
 - Maybe I am, and maybe - no.
She continued to stroke:
 - Where's the owner of the bar?
The barman, agitated:
 - It will be tomorrow ...
Sexy girl puts his finger in his mouth, and he begins his very erotic to the beat of the music slow suck.
 - Then transfer to the owner of your institution that you have in the room
Girls do not have toilet paper.

Night. Mental hospital. One client wakes up and grins mischievously: "That tomorrow will be fun! Bob woke up, my head starts to look, and it is the nightstand! »

It comes with a pupil of the school. Dad:
 - Well, how was school?
Boy:
 - Contract with 5 classes extended for another year ...

Fashion model at a photo shoot. Photographer she says:
 - Make serious face!
Model looks at him blankly. He tells her:
 - Well, let me help you! What is two plus two?

The father tells his son, looking at his diary:
 - For such estimates, I'll smack belt!
 - That's right, Dad! And the harder it Lupi her to know how I put the deuce!

Teacher:
 - Little Johnny Spell 2 pronouns.
Little Johnny:
 - Who? I?
Teacher:
 - That's right, Little Johnny.

Dear Santa Claus, unfortunately I have diabetes and I can not be sweet. So bring me in NY under the Christmas tree 2 drawers semisweet.

He calls his wife to the husband of the sanatorium:
 - Dear, how our affairs?
 - It's okay - my husband muttered.
 - And what about my pet?
 - She died - is responsible husband.
 - What do you mean? You're out of your mind ?, - screaming wife. - I am here for the nerves flying, and you tell me to arrange a stress. It can pripodnesti such terrible news in a different way!
 - And I should have told you about this? - Asks the husband.
 - Well ... Well, for example: "My dear, your cat is sitting on the roof. Oh, she poskalznulas, oh, she clings to the roof tiles, oh, it falls, oh, she fell, oh, it broke. Honey, accept my condolences ... "Do you understand?
 - Got it - the husband says
 - Well it ... How is my mother?
 - Sitting on the roof ...

In savhoze on the radio that their territory prezemlilis aliens. People said that they were a little green with large red eyes, and asked not to beat aliens, and not drink.
One man mowing the grass in the field and sees in the woods sits a little green with red eyes
A man says:
 - I the cleaver. That Spit. I mow.
No reaction. He again:
 - I the cleaver. That Spit. I mow.
Again, nothing. A man angrily:
 - I the cleaver, that's spit, I mow !!!
 - I'm a forester, I sit and shit, shit ...

There is a student in the street, suddenly sees valyaetsya roll. There is a further loaf kicks. He runs up to him and another student yells:
 - You Th, ofigel? Foods razbrasyveshsya!
 - Yes, you wait now until the angle dopinayu, eat together!

Husband and wife on the beach sunbathing. Her husband, a puny man realizes that his wife is not taking his eyes looking at the muscular tanned guy.
 - You should not stare at him, my dear. Remember, our neighbor's garage for two "Cadillac", and he keeps a bicycle there.

Little Johnny:
 - Mom, I'm at school boys gay name-calling?
 - So you, too, so they obzovu
 - I can not, they are so beautiful!

Dream Interpretation say shit dream of money. Imagine Bill Gates dreams !!!

 - The girl and the girl ... Let's fight !!! Only, I first tear you ...

Correct the error in the word "HEROSHO," and I'll tell you, you are an optimist, a pessimist or

Democracy - is when the news of the second television channel of the country differ from the first.

Beetle dung rolled up the new drive Dima Bilan.