I love my wife.

Richard Feynman touching message of his beloved that she never read
In June 1945, Arlene Feynman, the wife of a prominent American physicist Richard Feynman died of tuberculosis. She was 25 years old.
Richard Feynman was in love with Arlene 13 years. In the 19th century they were engaged. By the time the wedding Arlene was already seriously ill. Feynman selflessly cared for his wife, who died literally in his arms. Death of his beloved shocked scientist. Feynman fell into a deep depression.
In October 1946, 16 months later, Feynman wrote a letter to his wife, and sealed it in an envelope, which is opened only after the death of the scientist, 43 years later. Yellowed envelope was badly dented and battered, as if it were a long time in the pocket.




"Dear Arlene,
I love you, honey.
I know how you like to hear it, but I do not write just to please you. I write because it fills all warm inside me. I did not write you an awfully long time - almost two years. But I know, you do forgive me, stubborn pragmatism. I thought, there's no point in writing to you.
But now, my dear wife, I know that I must do what is put off for so long and so often did in the past. I want to say that I love you. I wanna Love You. I will always love you.
Mind difficult for me to understand what it means to love you after you died, but I still want to protect you and care for you. And I want you to love and care about me. I want to discuss with you the problems. I want to do different things together. Until now I do, and it never occurred. But we could do a lot together: sew clothes, learn Chinese, buy film projector. And now, I can do this? No. I'm all alone without you. You were the main generator of ideas and inspiration all my crazy adventures.
When you're sick, you worry that you can not give me that what I needed, what would you like me to give. Need not have worried. In this there was no need. I have always told you that I love you just because you are. And now I understand it, ever. You have nothing you can give me, and I love you so much, I could never fall in love with someone else. And I want to the way it was. Because even dead, you're much better than anyone alive.
I know you say that I am stupid, and what do you want me to be happy, and do not stand in my way. You might be surprised to learn that in the two years I have not even had a girlfriend (except you, my dear). And nothing you can do about it. And I can not. I do not understand. I have met many girls among them were very cute, and I do not want to be alone, but after a couple of visits, I realized that they are for me - nothing. I have only you. You're real.
My dear wife, I love you.
I love my wife. My wife died.
Rich

PS: Forgive me please for what has not sent you this letter - I do not know your new address. «

From the book of James Gleick "Genius: The Life and Science of Richard Feynman»

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