Santa Claus Bashny.Net

Santa hipster

You can find out that you visited a skinny Santa in jeans and a cowboy, because exactly one second in his Instagrame will the photo: a) cookies and milk, you left it on the table, b) your Christmas tree, c) self on the background of your Christmas tree g) self on the background of your Christmas tree with pechenyushkoy in the hands of (milk it, most likely, will not drink, because it is not soy and contains lactose).
He will come to your home on the bike, because the reindeer - is "too mainstream" and, most likely, will get into the house through the window, because the pipe and the door - it's too "mainstream».
What to expect as a gift? A set of natural, crooked chopped soap made in his own kitchen, unsightly cake without animal fats, baked in its own oven, a T-shirt, bought at a flea market (a real vintage!) Or a selection of films by Lars von Trier since "Dogma».





Santa hippies

This - the most cheerful Santa. On his approach, you learn by mumbling about "peace and love". Not only did he eat all your cookies and drink all your milk, it also Skurov your Christmas tree.
He comes on foot, because the deer and the team - it's materialism and materialism - is evil. But get into your house in the traditional way - through the tube because hesitate to ring the doorbell. But do not expect from him, because he does not believe in the Christian festivals, and in fact, consumerism - it is also evil. The only thing that he can leave behind - and accidentally dropped by Fenichka pyatochku from the shoal in the ashtray: hippies, because they are - good.



Santa Gopnik

This Santa does not sunken into your house through a pipe, and he will not ring the door - he simply knock out with a cry: "Semka there? Call you give? A smoke there? ". You will find him on the characteristic appearance resident of the city suburbs, only yesterday "leaning" to the zone, and invariably tracksuit. On the occasion of a suit can even be red.
He did not give you, but will press your cell phone, take all the presents and make Christmas tree. Better not to resist and to give him all at once, because otherwise it asks: "And if I find?". Please note, this Santa is not usually walks alone, somewhere near him waiting a couple more "elves." If you behave well, he, as a compensation, you can pour seeds. As soon as he leaves your house, you can safely call the police.



Santa emo

This dark, indeterminate sex, with bangs covering half his face and a black eye, Santa did not come to your home, because nobody in the world does not deserve it. Gifts do not wait, because people are disgusting, life - shit, and all - only ashes. If you really need to find a Santa, go to the roof of high-rise buildings - he would sit on the edge, look at the illuminated lights of the city and cry; or smoke-tight klubets on the outskirts of town for a concert band with a strange name, like «Welcome to plague year» or «My heart is on the right," where it will do the same. The only way in which you can find Santo emo at home - unless he slit his wrists in your bathroom.



Santa homeless

This Santa also never come into your home (maximum - can visit the villa closed for the winter), but you can always find it in the entrance or near the garbage cans, fragrant years of unwashed bodies and persistent fumes. That's the smell of you will know of the approach of this Santa long before it arrives. If the wind is blowing the other way, the other characteristic signs - swollen face, a black eye, the clothes, removed from the first, long dead Santa on light and matter, "Brother, dozens upon sober is not there? I feel bad". At present you can only get that yourself yesterday threw in the trash.



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