More fun from tech support =))) Bashny.Net

- You can send it to me by e-mail?
 - And you have a large mailbox?
 - Well, the CD-ROM in a crawl through.
 - Then I write down your e-mail.
 - E-mail? Yes, I do not have internet!

 - Printer growls and beating his head against the wall.

 - The printer is turned off, and it stinks.

Writing to the log of calls, "Where is smoking black cartridge?".

 - I have a question about a joint life of the scanner and printer.

 - Describe the problem, please?
 - I have a computer whiz, I would have shown you, but I do not whistle.

 - You Catherine?
 - Yes
 - Very nice, and I - organization.
 - Service Center Hewlett-Packard, Ekaterina Zhdanova

 - JUlechka?
 - Zhdanova Ekaterina.
 - JUlechka?
 - No, it's Ekaterina Zhdanova.
 - JUlechka?
 - No
 - And who is it?! (With horror) ... And where JUlechka?

 - The transport of equipment repaired by the service center.

 - Availability of parts in stock is determined by the presence of you at the service center, and if you have a cash.
 As already mentioned, we have the direct phone numbers in other cities ...
 - To what you have fun! You know, you Julia Ivanova in St. Petersburg and Moscow, Ivanov Julia!

 - Where to buy batteries for HP Omnibook? A few days ago bought your coolest 6000th, and the batteries have got!
 - You "batteries" these are not thrown? They can be recharged ...
 - Cho, in nature? As Mobil

 - Our printer paper chews everything else ...

 - Oh, girl, we have such a problem! Our printer 1100 :.
 - What happened to him?
 - Oh, and do not ask !!!

 - And one more question: when I bring you a printer, you had a housing indecent pictures come unstuck?

 - I have a Compaq computer company Hewlett-Packard.

 - Get me a young engineer.

 - You wires impregnated with something tasty, and my rat is very fond of gnawing. In general, she ate.

 - We have entered into with you this year a contract for the repair of the printer, but because the printers you repair still do not know how, then next year we will sign a contract with you on the server.

 - Our company is called "Kashira GRES" and you yesterday some bearded inspector wrote "Kashira dirt».

 - I bought the printer for future use, but it is not working.

 - Girl, help! Here Hewlett-Packard printer. What do we do with him?

 - We need an iron.
 - - Heated.
 - - For the printer 6L.
 - We have a CD-Writer writes, ugh ... that is - the scanner does not scan.

 - Do you have the mouse in stock?

 - I want to consult with a laser engineer.

 - The printer is in a state of euphoria ...

 - I threw in the hearts of your printer from the second floor.

 - Engineers can call?
 - Please have your phone?
 - I will tell you the number of a girl through it, you can always find me.
 - Address?
 - As a dealer, I have no right to disclose the address of the customer!

 - Zdrasvuyte! I bought your plotter with a defective IP address. I sold it to addresom 192.0.0.192, and so I put it on the computer 192, 0, 0, 193rd nothing works!
 -? And who are you
 - I? System administrator!!!

 - This support center for help?

 - Girl, I'm a little bit from another town. Where would I buy something?

 - You have a flashlight to shine there?
 - Now I portray flashlight

 - See you in the floor (plotter) should be such a gap ...
 - Yes, I see - there is an entire hole!
 - About - the carriage ran! ..
 - You have an assistant there exists a button click? Or do nose somehow ...
 - Girl, I die frustrated !!!

 - - Well, printer ...

 - Girl, I listened with great pleasure about the service center on the answering machine: ... and now I repeat the same thing.

 - I would like to know the daily operation of your printer.

 - I currently have your printer.

 - Printer earned as soon as he was approached by a man.

 - Tatiana Prokopovich, good afternoon.
 - Oh, it's you - Sobolev?

 - My printer starts printing only after lunch.

A letter from our service partners, "Census disc in the basket leads to the return of his health»

Engineer: "Guys, calling Ostankino Brewery, asking for help to mount the Rack. Who loves beer with RECs? »

A letter from a grateful client: "Thank you for your help in solving the problem! It turned out that the scanner is not working because of that every time I methodically removed the program from its memory considering it a virus! .. »

HP8000 printer displays an error message: & quot; unexpected size of the paper & quot;

Calls boss of the department:
 - We have just bought a LaserJet 1200. In the department of all push him away
 - Laser fear. What we isolate it to the laser accidentally slashed?

 - We have a tape streamer does not give, you can explain to us on how to get it on their own?
 - Bring it to the service center, where all will.
 - I'm afraid that is not possible, streamer is on the space station "Mir» ...
 (Our engineer went to the PCO and the next session was devoted to remote repair streamer ...)

 - I have a printer smells like dead animals ...

 - I've got the paper into the printer!

 - Can I now on the girl? ..

 - How do I make a hole in the printer?
 -% - / What?
 - Complies!
 - (Engineer by phone) Yeah, and enable fast printing ...

 - Please wait - I clamp the tube between the ears ...

 - What is now doing your printer?

 - He once squinted ...

Headmistress - What do these bread-store? Do not eat themselves - Feed the birds.
 Engineer: - They are now only feed woodpeckers get ...

Engineer phone: "I'm not a nerd, to answer all the questions ...»
 - Do you have an infrared port extension cord?

 - And if alcohol to clean the rollers, will suck?

The cry after speaking engineer:
 - Yes! Yes! There are women in Russian villages! Another idiot check from a laser cartridge to cut!

The conversation with the client just:
 To: - Hello, I have an inkjet copier "all-in-one" 750, color cartridge has not changed for years, and now it does not print in blue ...
 I: - Replacement cartridges ...
 To: - Thank you very much!
 the end of the conversation ...
 Please note that the customer has informed the operator a huge amount of information about yourself, and about 5 minutes waiting until freed one of the engineers ...