671
More fun from tech support =)))
- You can send it to me by e-mail?
- And you have a large mailbox?
- Well, the CD-ROM in a crawl through.
- Then I write down your e-mail.
- E-mail? Yes, I do not have internet!
- Printer growls and beating his head against the wall.
- The printer is turned off, and it stinks.
Writing to the log of calls, "Where is smoking black cartridge?".
- I have a question about a joint life of the scanner and printer.
- Describe the problem, please?
- I have a computer whiz, I would have shown you, but I do not whistle.
- You Catherine?
- Yes
- Very nice, and I - organization.
- Service Center Hewlett-Packard, Ekaterina Zhdanova
- JUlechka?
- Zhdanova Ekaterina.
- JUlechka?
- No, it's Ekaterina Zhdanova.
- JUlechka?
- No
- And who is it?! (With horror) ... And where JUlechka?
- The transport of equipment repaired by the service center.
- Availability of parts in stock is determined by the presence of you at the service center, and if you have a cash.
As already mentioned, we have the direct phone numbers in other cities ...
- To what you have fun! You know, you Julia Ivanova in St. Petersburg and Moscow, Ivanov Julia!
- Where to buy batteries for HP Omnibook? A few days ago bought your coolest 6000th, and the batteries have got!
- You "batteries" these are not thrown? They can be recharged ...
- Cho, in nature? As Mobil
- Our printer paper chews everything else ...
- Oh, girl, we have such a problem! Our printer 1100 :.
- What happened to him?
- Oh, and do not ask !!!
- And one more question: when I bring you a printer, you had a housing indecent pictures come unstuck?
- I have a Compaq computer company Hewlett-Packard.
- Get me a young engineer.
- You wires impregnated with something tasty, and my rat is very fond of gnawing. In general, she ate.
- We have entered into with you this year a contract for the repair of the printer, but because the printers you repair still do not know how, then next year we will sign a contract with you on the server.
- Our company is called "Kashira GRES" and you yesterday some bearded inspector wrote "Kashira dirt».
- I bought the printer for future use, but it is not working.
- Girl, help! Here Hewlett-Packard printer. What do we do with him?
- We need an iron.
- - Heated.
- - For the printer 6L.
- We have a CD-Writer writes, ugh ... that is - the scanner does not scan.
- Do you have the mouse in stock?
- I want to consult with a laser engineer.
- The printer is in a state of euphoria ...
- I threw in the hearts of your printer from the second floor.
- Engineers can call?
- Please have your phone?
- I will tell you the number of a girl through it, you can always find me.
- Address?
- As a dealer, I have no right to disclose the address of the customer!
- Zdrasvuyte! I bought your plotter with a defective IP address. I sold it to addresom 192.0.0.192, and so I put it on the computer 192, 0, 0, 193rd nothing works!
-? And who are you
- I? System administrator!!!
- This support center for help?
- Girl, I'm a little bit from another town. Where would I buy something?
- You have a flashlight to shine there?
- Now I portray flashlight
- See you in the floor (plotter) should be such a gap ...
- Yes, I see - there is an entire hole!
- About - the carriage ran! ..
- You have an assistant there exists a button click? Or do nose somehow ...
- Girl, I die frustrated !!!
- - Well, printer ...
- Girl, I listened with great pleasure about the service center on the answering machine: ... and now I repeat the same thing.
- I would like to know the daily operation of your printer.
- I currently have your printer.
- Printer earned as soon as he was approached by a man.
- Tatiana Prokopovich, good afternoon.
- Oh, it's you - Sobolev?
- My printer starts printing only after lunch.
A letter from our service partners, "Census disc in the basket leads to the return of his health»
Engineer: "Guys, calling Ostankino Brewery, asking for help to mount the Rack. Who loves beer with RECs? »
A letter from a grateful client: "Thank you for your help in solving the problem! It turned out that the scanner is not working because of that every time I methodically removed the program from its memory considering it a virus! .. »
HP8000 printer displays an error message: & quot; unexpected size of the paper & quot;
Calls boss of the department:
- We have just bought a LaserJet 1200. In the department of all push him away
- Laser fear. What we isolate it to the laser accidentally slashed?
- We have a tape streamer does not give, you can explain to us on how to get it on their own?
- Bring it to the service center, where all will.
- I'm afraid that is not possible, streamer is on the space station "Mir» ...
(Our engineer went to the PCO and the next session was devoted to remote repair streamer ...)
- I have a printer smells like dead animals ...
- I've got the paper into the printer!
- Can I now on the girl? ..
- How do I make a hole in the printer?
-% - / What?
- Complies!
- (Engineer by phone) Yeah, and enable fast printing ...
- Please wait - I clamp the tube between the ears ...
- What is now doing your printer?
- He once squinted ...
Headmistress - What do these bread-store? Do not eat themselves - Feed the birds.
Engineer: - They are now only feed woodpeckers get ...
Engineer phone: "I'm not a nerd, to answer all the questions ...»
- Do you have an infrared port extension cord?
- And if alcohol to clean the rollers, will suck?
The cry after speaking engineer:
- Yes! Yes! There are women in Russian villages! Another idiot check from a laser cartridge to cut!
The conversation with the client just:
To: - Hello, I have an inkjet copier "all-in-one" 750, color cartridge has not changed for years, and now it does not print in blue ...
I: - Replacement cartridges ...
To: - Thank you very much!
the end of the conversation ...
Please note that the customer has informed the operator a huge amount of information about yourself, and about 5 minutes waiting until freed one of the engineers ...
- And you have a large mailbox?
- Well, the CD-ROM in a crawl through.
- Then I write down your e-mail.
- E-mail? Yes, I do not have internet!
- Printer growls and beating his head against the wall.
- The printer is turned off, and it stinks.
Writing to the log of calls, "Where is smoking black cartridge?".
- I have a question about a joint life of the scanner and printer.
- Describe the problem, please?
- I have a computer whiz, I would have shown you, but I do not whistle.
- You Catherine?
- Yes
- Very nice, and I - organization.
- Service Center Hewlett-Packard, Ekaterina Zhdanova
- JUlechka?
- Zhdanova Ekaterina.
- JUlechka?
- No, it's Ekaterina Zhdanova.
- JUlechka?
- No
- And who is it?! (With horror) ... And where JUlechka?
- The transport of equipment repaired by the service center.
- Availability of parts in stock is determined by the presence of you at the service center, and if you have a cash.
As already mentioned, we have the direct phone numbers in other cities ...
- To what you have fun! You know, you Julia Ivanova in St. Petersburg and Moscow, Ivanov Julia!
- Where to buy batteries for HP Omnibook? A few days ago bought your coolest 6000th, and the batteries have got!
- You "batteries" these are not thrown? They can be recharged ...
- Cho, in nature? As Mobil
- Our printer paper chews everything else ...
- Oh, girl, we have such a problem! Our printer 1100 :.
- What happened to him?
- Oh, and do not ask !!!
- And one more question: when I bring you a printer, you had a housing indecent pictures come unstuck?
- I have a Compaq computer company Hewlett-Packard.
- Get me a young engineer.
- You wires impregnated with something tasty, and my rat is very fond of gnawing. In general, she ate.
- We have entered into with you this year a contract for the repair of the printer, but because the printers you repair still do not know how, then next year we will sign a contract with you on the server.
- Our company is called "Kashira GRES" and you yesterday some bearded inspector wrote "Kashira dirt».
- I bought the printer for future use, but it is not working.
- Girl, help! Here Hewlett-Packard printer. What do we do with him?
- We need an iron.
- - Heated.
- - For the printer 6L.
- We have a CD-Writer writes, ugh ... that is - the scanner does not scan.
- Do you have the mouse in stock?
- I want to consult with a laser engineer.
- The printer is in a state of euphoria ...
- I threw in the hearts of your printer from the second floor.
- Engineers can call?
- Please have your phone?
- I will tell you the number of a girl through it, you can always find me.
- Address?
- As a dealer, I have no right to disclose the address of the customer!
- Zdrasvuyte! I bought your plotter with a defective IP address. I sold it to addresom 192.0.0.192, and so I put it on the computer 192, 0, 0, 193rd nothing works!
-? And who are you
- I? System administrator!!!
- This support center for help?
- Girl, I'm a little bit from another town. Where would I buy something?
- You have a flashlight to shine there?
- Now I portray flashlight
- See you in the floor (plotter) should be such a gap ...
- Yes, I see - there is an entire hole!
- About - the carriage ran! ..
- You have an assistant there exists a button click? Or do nose somehow ...
- Girl, I die frustrated !!!
- - Well, printer ...
- Girl, I listened with great pleasure about the service center on the answering machine: ... and now I repeat the same thing.
- I would like to know the daily operation of your printer.
- I currently have your printer.
- Printer earned as soon as he was approached by a man.
- Tatiana Prokopovich, good afternoon.
- Oh, it's you - Sobolev?
- My printer starts printing only after lunch.
A letter from our service partners, "Census disc in the basket leads to the return of his health»
Engineer: "Guys, calling Ostankino Brewery, asking for help to mount the Rack. Who loves beer with RECs? »
A letter from a grateful client: "Thank you for your help in solving the problem! It turned out that the scanner is not working because of that every time I methodically removed the program from its memory considering it a virus! .. »
HP8000 printer displays an error message: & quot; unexpected size of the paper & quot;
Calls boss of the department:
- We have just bought a LaserJet 1200. In the department of all push him away
- Laser fear. What we isolate it to the laser accidentally slashed?
- We have a tape streamer does not give, you can explain to us on how to get it on their own?
- Bring it to the service center, where all will.
- I'm afraid that is not possible, streamer is on the space station "Mir» ...
(Our engineer went to the PCO and the next session was devoted to remote repair streamer ...)
- I have a printer smells like dead animals ...
- I've got the paper into the printer!
- Can I now on the girl? ..
- How do I make a hole in the printer?
-% - / What?
- Complies!
- (Engineer by phone) Yeah, and enable fast printing ...
- Please wait - I clamp the tube between the ears ...
- What is now doing your printer?
- He once squinted ...
Headmistress - What do these bread-store? Do not eat themselves - Feed the birds.
Engineer: - They are now only feed woodpeckers get ...
Engineer phone: "I'm not a nerd, to answer all the questions ...»
- Do you have an infrared port extension cord?
- And if alcohol to clean the rollers, will suck?
The cry after speaking engineer:
- Yes! Yes! There are women in Russian villages! Another idiot check from a laser cartridge to cut!
The conversation with the client just:
To: - Hello, I have an inkjet copier "all-in-one" 750, color cartridge has not changed for years, and now it does not print in blue ...
I: - Replacement cartridges ...
To: - Thank you very much!
the end of the conversation ...
Please note that the customer has informed the operator a huge amount of information about yourself, and about 5 minutes waiting until freed one of the engineers ...