Open letter to the headquarters of "Greenpeace" from the marsupial opossum .. Bashny.Net

I understand that exotic, but not to the same extent! "New Russian" long remembered my name, and finally said I - "Marsupial PETEK"! My wife called me and left Petya live in the seventeenth TV lounge in the third.

I tried to feed them in a scientific way. For a lot of money have hired large expert, who said that from the food I eat only the young shoots of bamboo ... For the first time I tried the young bamboo! It was disgusting. I had to sacrifice principles and steal the camel thorn from hamadryad that the neighborhood made a nest in the fourth bedroom fireplace tenth. He, too, are fed scientifically, so thorn he does not eat anything, just anything. Once even I lashed out at me! Eat like! ... Yes, I ate practically nothing more slaver. But remember unpleasant!

Then my owners attempted captive breeding. They led me to a female opossum. At least so they thought that the female.

In fact it was a full-grown male that came to me and asked:

 - Oh, brother, what shall we do?

 - In what sense? - I did not get it.

 - In the physiological! They do not fall behind! We will twist and slip popnofilmy "Playboy." While we were with you, so to speak ... "

I certainly for procreation, but not the same way! Well I can not inspire a TV and pounce passionately on this ...

 - You do not flatter yourself! - I read my mind hardened male - is a female you confused! So what do we do?

And yet we had for ten hours all together and look popnofilmy flipping "Playboy."

And once the bandits broke into the house, masked and hamadryad confused with the "new Russian". They tortured the monkey iron and asked where the money is hidden. So it's disgusting animal by torture learn to speak! And what were his first words? "Ask the opossum. He knows! "Then the bandits began to torture me. I had the same master and articulate speech inappropriately they noted: "You forgot to include the iron!" It was a delicate calculation. Bandits gamadrily said: "And you, bastard, why silent about iron?" Again began to torment this reptile.

Recently I found in the freezer refrigerator tenth live penguin. He was there disguised as chicken leg. I asked him where he lived before, what penguin replied: "In the third refrigerator. But they ran out of dumplings. "Then he said that living here has no one left. And dead too. And asked me to bury him after the death of the homeland, in the third refrigerator.

But worst of all, the owners had guests last night. One of them was a gourmet, in the perverted sense of the word. He said he has great respect for roast opossum. The hosts like - the new way looked at me and invited everyone to come in a week on the evening of exotic dishes. Now I have a little time left, and little hope that will start with hamadryad. Therefore, my dear, "Greenpeace", do not sit Sydney, do something, do it! While rare species of animal not become less for another copy. With brutal respect your Tasmanian opossum Peter.