18
My husband and I went to Canada, and my sister stayed at home, who looked after my mother, and I sent them money regularly.
Since long-term care for the elderly For many families with modest incomes, this becomes a problem. Who to leave an elderly grandmother for if everyone works in the daytime, and in the evening you need to pick up the children from kindergarten? You have to somehow twist and sacrifice personal rest. Such actions lead to moral fatigue and even breakdowns.
But you need to understand that the old man is still the same person. And he needs care and care, too. Older parents need our attention, no matter what. So the least we can do is at least pick up the phone, call them and ask them about their health and well-being.
After my husband and children arrived in Canada, life changed dramatically. We invested in what is called a big investment. Sold the apartment, the car. No tickets back. Of course, before that, everyone thought about the place of residence, work, school. But in fact, everything turned out to be difficult and very expensive.
Rent and taxes ate up almost all of the pay. But we had to have children and somehow live. It's not going to be a housewife here, I mean, for our middle class. So I got a small part-time job, and in the evenings I baked cakes that my husband brought to work. A little money, even symbolic, but something.
Of course, infrastructure, clean streets, cozy houses. It all looks very attractive. Especially for children. At first they could not believe that people could live and treat each other like this. My son lost his cell phone at school and decided he could say goodbye. So he was brought by one of the teachers, said the other children. In our old school, that would be fantastic.
However, after six months, things began to improve. My husband’s salary was raised, I finally began to delve into how everything works here, there was money. We put them away for some serious purchases or for a rainy day. You always have to have some kind of slack, I think. Kids grow up too.
At some point, my sister, who stayed in the country, started complaining. She said her mother was not feeling well and needed to do something. After consulting with my husband, we decided to give my sister money on the card so that she would come and help my mother with the housework. Which she agreed to, because they lived very close.
As time went by and the sister began to hint that she lacked money, the food went up in price and, in general, everything went up. We need more medicine, we need more money. In general, the words are correct, but something in them alerted me. Since I did not take a vacation from coming to Canada at all, it was a good reason to go home and see my mother. My husband stayed on the farm and I went on the road.
At my mother’s house, I saw a frighteningly familiar painting. Nothing has changed in her at all. I understand that my sister didn't have to do repairs or anything like that. But no new clothes in the closet? At least blouses? Everything in the fridge is the cheapest, water from the well, which mom herself brings in a cart. Of the drugs - aspirin, activated charcoal and some other tablets with an expired statute of limitations.
My mother is an elderly person, but she was very happy to see me. I put the previously purchased products on the shelves. I opened my presents, listened to my mother and talked about my life. My sister was supposed to come later, and her work was late. And from my mother's words, I realized that my sister was visiting her. So, ask how you're doing, get some apples. That's it. That's the daughter.
In the evening, when my sister came back and brought a packet of food with her, my mother was shocked. I even cried a little. I said, these are the nice girls I have, they brought me so much. It was a natural shock and surprise to her. I understood everything, but I didn't ruin the pleasant moments with her. We ate, we talked. It was time for my sister to go home and I went to the hotel.
But on the way out, of course, I walked with my sister and talked heart to heart. I don't want to paint it, but it came down to banal. She doesn't have enough money, but does her mother need much? And she's feeling great for her age, like I've seen. I would never give her any money. And at the end, she looked at me with innocent eyes and asked me to borrow a few thousand. Conditional units, I mean. The car broke down.
Naturally, I put my relationship with my sister on pause. Let him figure it out, make money. I went to my mom every day, but only during the day. In the evening, my sister could come, and I didn’t want to spoil my mood. So pleasantly spent a week, in the evenings walked, remembered native places. But, unfortunately, then I had to fly back.
So now I'm back in Canada. Working, raising kids. Of course I left some money to my mom. She can go to the store and so on. But what happens next? When, God forbid, will the forces leave her? You can't rely on your sister, that's understandable. But she has no one else. There's no way I can take her here. She won't get on a plane.
It's a desperate situation. And the more I think about her, the sadder it makes me. Because I can't move back in with her, it's not even negotiated. What can we hope for then, how to be?!
But you need to understand that the old man is still the same person. And he needs care and care, too. Older parents need our attention, no matter what. So the least we can do is at least pick up the phone, call them and ask them about their health and well-being.
After my husband and children arrived in Canada, life changed dramatically. We invested in what is called a big investment. Sold the apartment, the car. No tickets back. Of course, before that, everyone thought about the place of residence, work, school. But in fact, everything turned out to be difficult and very expensive.
Rent and taxes ate up almost all of the pay. But we had to have children and somehow live. It's not going to be a housewife here, I mean, for our middle class. So I got a small part-time job, and in the evenings I baked cakes that my husband brought to work. A little money, even symbolic, but something.
Of course, infrastructure, clean streets, cozy houses. It all looks very attractive. Especially for children. At first they could not believe that people could live and treat each other like this. My son lost his cell phone at school and decided he could say goodbye. So he was brought by one of the teachers, said the other children. In our old school, that would be fantastic.
However, after six months, things began to improve. My husband’s salary was raised, I finally began to delve into how everything works here, there was money. We put them away for some serious purchases or for a rainy day. You always have to have some kind of slack, I think. Kids grow up too.
At some point, my sister, who stayed in the country, started complaining. She said her mother was not feeling well and needed to do something. After consulting with my husband, we decided to give my sister money on the card so that she would come and help my mother with the housework. Which she agreed to, because they lived very close.
As time went by and the sister began to hint that she lacked money, the food went up in price and, in general, everything went up. We need more medicine, we need more money. In general, the words are correct, but something in them alerted me. Since I did not take a vacation from coming to Canada at all, it was a good reason to go home and see my mother. My husband stayed on the farm and I went on the road.
At my mother’s house, I saw a frighteningly familiar painting. Nothing has changed in her at all. I understand that my sister didn't have to do repairs or anything like that. But no new clothes in the closet? At least blouses? Everything in the fridge is the cheapest, water from the well, which mom herself brings in a cart. Of the drugs - aspirin, activated charcoal and some other tablets with an expired statute of limitations.
My mother is an elderly person, but she was very happy to see me. I put the previously purchased products on the shelves. I opened my presents, listened to my mother and talked about my life. My sister was supposed to come later, and her work was late. And from my mother's words, I realized that my sister was visiting her. So, ask how you're doing, get some apples. That's it. That's the daughter.
In the evening, when my sister came back and brought a packet of food with her, my mother was shocked. I even cried a little. I said, these are the nice girls I have, they brought me so much. It was a natural shock and surprise to her. I understood everything, but I didn't ruin the pleasant moments with her. We ate, we talked. It was time for my sister to go home and I went to the hotel.
But on the way out, of course, I walked with my sister and talked heart to heart. I don't want to paint it, but it came down to banal. She doesn't have enough money, but does her mother need much? And she's feeling great for her age, like I've seen. I would never give her any money. And at the end, she looked at me with innocent eyes and asked me to borrow a few thousand. Conditional units, I mean. The car broke down.
Naturally, I put my relationship with my sister on pause. Let him figure it out, make money. I went to my mom every day, but only during the day. In the evening, my sister could come, and I didn’t want to spoil my mood. So pleasantly spent a week, in the evenings walked, remembered native places. But, unfortunately, then I had to fly back.
So now I'm back in Canada. Working, raising kids. Of course I left some money to my mom. She can go to the store and so on. But what happens next? When, God forbid, will the forces leave her? You can't rely on your sister, that's understandable. But she has no one else. There's no way I can take her here. She won't get on a plane.
It's a desperate situation. And the more I think about her, the sadder it makes me. Because I can't move back in with her, it's not even negotiated. What can we hope for then, how to be?!
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