What can a teenager do with his appearance? Bashny.Net

Adolescence is a test for both parents and children. A teenager is faced with new experiences, his body is rebuilt, and his mind is choked with new emotions. The appearance of the child can constantly change. A teenager wants to experiment, and changing the appearance is the most affordable way to declare yourself to the whole world. Piercing, tattoos and colorful hair are some parents’ nightmares. Should parents worry or is this behavior temporary?



Careful parents are primarily concerned about the health of the child. But not everyone is able to reach out to a teenager and explain that tattoos, for example, carry some health risks. So the only right decision for mom and dad is to ban without explanation and compromise.



At school, I had a friend Anya, with whom we spent almost all our free time together. Anya was a rebel: she dyed strands of hair red, cut her bangs and did piercings in secret from her mother, because she prohibited such antics and never explained why a girl can not do with her body everything she wants.

It was as if Anya was even more excited. She found friends who did piercings, and under unknown conditions did a puncture of the lip, nose, cartilage on the ear, stretching tunnels in the earlobes. And several times, because when my mother saw the manifestation of individuality, she was very angry and scolded her daughter. Such quarrels were frequent, and the change in my friend's appearance was a revolt against her mother's conservative attitudes.



A change in appearance most strongly affects not the teenager, but his parents, who are used to taking into account the opinion of others. And when a young mother is pointed out the appearance of her long-haired son, the mother immediately cuts the curls to the boy, without even asking his opinion. This behavior of parents cultivates complexes in children, with which they struggle throughout their lives. All you have to do is talk.

What do the prohibitions of Anina mother lead to? The fact that the girl will still do what she wants. But in less suitable conditions: visiting a friend, a doubtful master and so on. Wise parents do not forbid, they offer an alternative or choose the safest way to fulfill the child’s needs for self-expression.



For example, a 13-year-old girl draws a marker on her arms and asks for a tattoo. You can not scold the child, you can buy a temporary tattoo, agree that the daughter will first select a suitable picture and place for a tattoo. It'll buy you time. Tattoos can be done from the age of 18. Explain to the child that you need to do the procedure in sterile conditions with a professional. Offer to save money or promise your child to get a tattoo in a normal salon after high school, for example.



Dyeing your hair, cutting it or growing it is not a problem at all if your child is in a school where there is no strict dress code. The parent should understand that if he prohibits something, the teenager will still find a way to do it. Think about why you want to forbid your child to appear. Isn't that a framework, isn't it a stereotype?

You can play ahead: ask your child to get a temporary tattoo or dye your hair, then you will see the reaction. Most often, children reject the crazy ideas of their parents just because they want to contradict them in everything. But finding an approach to a child and becoming his friend means being a caring parent. When a child trusts mom and dad, he shares his experiences, plans and dreams, and then there is an opportunity to cope with all the difficulties together.



Children most often adopt the behavior of their parents. Try to convince your child to get a tattoo when he does not have free space on his hands from ink. The same goes for bad habits. In addition to your disapproval, a child can be attacked by a large amount of criticism and discontent from society. The role of a parent in this situation is to be on the side of their child, not the side of the majority. That's what care is.

Letting a child find his own style means speeding up the process of personality formation. Because of parental prohibitions, many adults become a time bomb with an unrealized lump of desires and needs. Then adolescence behavior can break free at 45 and 60. Only in this case, the adult child will resent the parents all this time. Do you think a teenager should be allowed to experiment with appearance?