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Why you should not give advice on parenting
It’s easy to consider yourself the best parent in the world. It’s easy until you really have a baby. Then you realize that all children are different, and their problems are also different. Therefore, hopes that in education everything will go smoothly are doomed to failure.
And today's edition. "Site" She will share the thoughts of a young mother of two children, who presented her motherhood as somewhat different - more organized, measured, successful. However, her two tomboys managed to shatter all expectations. But is it their fault?
I once looked at a boy who was choking in tears in hysterics, demanding chocolate from his mother, and thought that my child would never be like this. Can a child hysteria, in whose house classical music sounds, and the shelves are bursting with good books?
I was looking at the girl who was blowing her girlfriend in the sandbox with a plastic spatula, and I thought that my child would never hit anyone. How can a child be ill-bred if Chopin is heard in his house and Schopenhauer is read? And then I had two children one by one, and the impossible became possible.
“It turned out that I was completely unable to educate. And it turned out that even my son and daughter are completely different from each other. And even if I agree that in the morning - cleaning, and in the evening - cartoons, everything goes wrong.
If the girl Sasha obediently cleans her toys, and in the evening deservedly watches cartoons, then Sergey begins to negotiate. “How many cartoons will I watch,” “No, mom, two is not enough, better three.” Then Sergey goes to play, then gets hungry and eats, then demands to watch cartoons, because he is very tired and can not do anything. As a result, Seryozha's room is cleaned by her mother.
“I don’t know how to train Seryoja to clean her room. I do not know how to convince Sasha not to be afraid of vaccinations. I don't know how to tell Seryozh how he spent his day.
Sasha loves to tell. How she met Nina in the morning, how she came to kindergarten, what bad porridge she ate for breakfast, how she argued with her friend, how she went to the buffet together... 40 minutes story. The boy Sergey does not like to throw words to the wind: “I came with a folder to the kindergarten, I ate, then Maxim stuffed me, then I stuffed Maxim, then I slept, then the folder came, everything.”
“Sasha picks raisins out of the cake to eat only dough. Seryozha picks raisins out of the cake to eat only raisins. Sasha likes to hide sweets in a beautiful box, then take them out and count them. Seryozha likes to eat his candy, and then rake strangers out of a beautiful box.
I’ve often replayed an idyllic picture in my head: I’m a mother, and next to me are two combed neat children who help cut Christmas cookies with moulds. I even tried to do it three times.”
The first attempt showed that my molds were very dangerous. And if you push from the wrong side, you can get hurt. I didn’t think about it until Sasha covered the kitchen table with blood. And I got rid of these molds with shaking hands that night.
The second time I bought safe plastic molds, it turned out that Sergey loves to eat dough. And as soon as I turned away, he filled his mouth with this substance. The biscuit test was not enough, and some people then fed on raw dough for two consecutive days.”
“The third time, no one cut himself or suffered after eating the dough, but then for half a day I had to clean the kitchen and corridor, and wash myself and the children. Well, those dreams of harmonious family cooking. I can do it myself.”
Today the information on the correct parenting more than enough. Psychologists, teachers and even priests tell how to build a relationship with a child so that he grows obedient and quiet, and grew up independent and successful.
But as mentioned, all children are different, and what worked with one child may not work with another, even with the same parents. They say that advice, How to properly raise children It's given out to mothers with one child. But after the upbringing of two or three children are no longer advised - they understand that in 100% of cases their instructions will not work.
So maybe you should not try to make an obedient doll out of a child? Maybe parents just let their baby be themselves, and educate themselves first, to be an example for the crumbs?
And today's edition. "Site" She will share the thoughts of a young mother of two children, who presented her motherhood as somewhat different - more organized, measured, successful. However, her two tomboys managed to shatter all expectations. But is it their fault?
I once looked at a boy who was choking in tears in hysterics, demanding chocolate from his mother, and thought that my child would never be like this. Can a child hysteria, in whose house classical music sounds, and the shelves are bursting with good books?
I was looking at the girl who was blowing her girlfriend in the sandbox with a plastic spatula, and I thought that my child would never hit anyone. How can a child be ill-bred if Chopin is heard in his house and Schopenhauer is read? And then I had two children one by one, and the impossible became possible.
“It turned out that I was completely unable to educate. And it turned out that even my son and daughter are completely different from each other. And even if I agree that in the morning - cleaning, and in the evening - cartoons, everything goes wrong.
If the girl Sasha obediently cleans her toys, and in the evening deservedly watches cartoons, then Sergey begins to negotiate. “How many cartoons will I watch,” “No, mom, two is not enough, better three.” Then Sergey goes to play, then gets hungry and eats, then demands to watch cartoons, because he is very tired and can not do anything. As a result, Seryozha's room is cleaned by her mother.
“I don’t know how to train Seryoja to clean her room. I do not know how to convince Sasha not to be afraid of vaccinations. I don't know how to tell Seryozh how he spent his day.
Sasha loves to tell. How she met Nina in the morning, how she came to kindergarten, what bad porridge she ate for breakfast, how she argued with her friend, how she went to the buffet together... 40 minutes story. The boy Sergey does not like to throw words to the wind: “I came with a folder to the kindergarten, I ate, then Maxim stuffed me, then I stuffed Maxim, then I slept, then the folder came, everything.”
“Sasha picks raisins out of the cake to eat only dough. Seryozha picks raisins out of the cake to eat only raisins. Sasha likes to hide sweets in a beautiful box, then take them out and count them. Seryozha likes to eat his candy, and then rake strangers out of a beautiful box.
I’ve often replayed an idyllic picture in my head: I’m a mother, and next to me are two combed neat children who help cut Christmas cookies with moulds. I even tried to do it three times.”
The first attempt showed that my molds were very dangerous. And if you push from the wrong side, you can get hurt. I didn’t think about it until Sasha covered the kitchen table with blood. And I got rid of these molds with shaking hands that night.
The second time I bought safe plastic molds, it turned out that Sergey loves to eat dough. And as soon as I turned away, he filled his mouth with this substance. The biscuit test was not enough, and some people then fed on raw dough for two consecutive days.”
“The third time, no one cut himself or suffered after eating the dough, but then for half a day I had to clean the kitchen and corridor, and wash myself and the children. Well, those dreams of harmonious family cooking. I can do it myself.”
Today the information on the correct parenting more than enough. Psychologists, teachers and even priests tell how to build a relationship with a child so that he grows obedient and quiet, and grew up independent and successful.
But as mentioned, all children are different, and what worked with one child may not work with another, even with the same parents. They say that advice, How to properly raise children It's given out to mothers with one child. But after the upbringing of two or three children are no longer advised - they understand that in 100% of cases their instructions will not work.
So maybe you should not try to make an obedient doll out of a child? Maybe parents just let their baby be themselves, and educate themselves first, to be an example for the crumbs?