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Separate budget of a young family on the example of a very sour lemon
Financial relationships in the family are different for everyone. People of the old age think that it is better to act according to the scheme “all in the family”. The budget is one, but sometimes there are misunderstandings when someone decides to buy something for small things. Young people are increasingly choosing budgetEveryone has money in their pocket for their “wants”, and we will pay for something serious in half.
One cannot say that one of these models is objectively better than the other. Both there and there have their pitfalls. This issue should be resolved long before the wedding. But what does it look like from the outside, especially when relatives are not at all enthusiastic about the decision already made by young people?
My youngest daughter recently gave birth to her first child. Just like a little over a year ago. The elder, Sveta, is already raising the second and I do not worry about her fate at all: her husband is a programmer, the house is full of bowls, and she herself is an adult reasonable person. Of course, she sacrificed her time to watch the kids, but now she does not need anything.
But the youngest, Olka, worries me. Her husband does not say that he earns a lot, but at least he does not drink and does not chase after strangers' skirts. Well, that's what I know. Only greedy. Like his whole family. Imagine, when we met, I had not yet managed to pronounce my name, as I was given a condition: the wedding is paid in half.
I didn’t mind, but I thought financial issues should be left for later. First of all, I want to meet a new family, share the joy that the children found each other. Well, that's how we met. And I learned that it takes a lot longer for others.
I recently visited my daughter to congratulate her grandson on his first year of life. I took cake, gifts and some money to help the young. Genes, son-in-law means he wasn't home, he was working. The daughter was very happy, began to make tea, to talk about the baby. I asked for a lemon for tea and it was clear that Ole didn't like it much.
She doesn't like lemons, says hot water kills all the vitamins anyway, but I saw a couple of things in the fridge. It turned out that these were the products of her husband. It's forbidden to touch them. And then, as it turned out, their house is divided equally among themselves. That is, who paid for what, he uses it.
Olya even called her son-in-law and asked if she could cut the lemon. After receiving the affirmative answer, she hung up the phone. Slicing the “treat”, the daughter explained that I did not worry that she was going to the store anyway, there and buy lemons. It's okay, Mom.
GettyImages Of course, in conversation, I decided to find out more about this point. And here's what I found out: they pay for utilities equally with their husband. Food is bought by anyone who wants, and cooked in turn: month it, month it. She also works and receives a salary. Just doing it from home. But she's with the kids. In defense of her husband, he says that it is also difficult when he comes home from work and spends the whole evening cooking for two.
But she says it suits them. There is always money for your needs. For clothes, food and diapers for the baby, of course, the budget is general. In short, that's the order of things. She says it was awkward a couple of times when her friends came and accidentally took her husband's things: muffins from the top shelf, coffee special custard and so on. But in general, everybody likes it.
Naturally, I began to express my dissatisfaction. How is it that a couple of people are married and live like a hostel? But my daughter interrupted me and explained that she saw it in her own way. The woman in the family is not a god and should always count on her own strength. Love is love, but only the infant is allowed to be a passive member of the family. Not until he turns 17.
I honestly did not expect such a reaction. So that my child, whom I raised and raised myself, would speak such nonsense. Needless to say, I left with a heavy heart after I told my daughter my point of view and everything I thought about her husband and his family. Separate budget, please tell me!
Tell me, do young people think this is normal? So that people who have to go side by side all their lives would do such nonsense? Or is it my son-in-law? My father and I are going to come over this weekend and talk to them about it very seriously. I don't want my daughter to live with a little crumb.
In this situation, of course, most pity mom. She simply does not understand how to live a husband and wife with such an agreement. But perhaps young people know better how to live. If they made that decision themselves.
One cannot say that one of these models is objectively better than the other. Both there and there have their pitfalls. This issue should be resolved long before the wedding. But what does it look like from the outside, especially when relatives are not at all enthusiastic about the decision already made by young people?
My youngest daughter recently gave birth to her first child. Just like a little over a year ago. The elder, Sveta, is already raising the second and I do not worry about her fate at all: her husband is a programmer, the house is full of bowls, and she herself is an adult reasonable person. Of course, she sacrificed her time to watch the kids, but now she does not need anything.
But the youngest, Olka, worries me. Her husband does not say that he earns a lot, but at least he does not drink and does not chase after strangers' skirts. Well, that's what I know. Only greedy. Like his whole family. Imagine, when we met, I had not yet managed to pronounce my name, as I was given a condition: the wedding is paid in half.
I didn’t mind, but I thought financial issues should be left for later. First of all, I want to meet a new family, share the joy that the children found each other. Well, that's how we met. And I learned that it takes a lot longer for others.
I recently visited my daughter to congratulate her grandson on his first year of life. I took cake, gifts and some money to help the young. Genes, son-in-law means he wasn't home, he was working. The daughter was very happy, began to make tea, to talk about the baby. I asked for a lemon for tea and it was clear that Ole didn't like it much.
She doesn't like lemons, says hot water kills all the vitamins anyway, but I saw a couple of things in the fridge. It turned out that these were the products of her husband. It's forbidden to touch them. And then, as it turned out, their house is divided equally among themselves. That is, who paid for what, he uses it.
Olya even called her son-in-law and asked if she could cut the lemon. After receiving the affirmative answer, she hung up the phone. Slicing the “treat”, the daughter explained that I did not worry that she was going to the store anyway, there and buy lemons. It's okay, Mom.
GettyImages Of course, in conversation, I decided to find out more about this point. And here's what I found out: they pay for utilities equally with their husband. Food is bought by anyone who wants, and cooked in turn: month it, month it. She also works and receives a salary. Just doing it from home. But she's with the kids. In defense of her husband, he says that it is also difficult when he comes home from work and spends the whole evening cooking for two.
But she says it suits them. There is always money for your needs. For clothes, food and diapers for the baby, of course, the budget is general. In short, that's the order of things. She says it was awkward a couple of times when her friends came and accidentally took her husband's things: muffins from the top shelf, coffee special custard and so on. But in general, everybody likes it.
Naturally, I began to express my dissatisfaction. How is it that a couple of people are married and live like a hostel? But my daughter interrupted me and explained that she saw it in her own way. The woman in the family is not a god and should always count on her own strength. Love is love, but only the infant is allowed to be a passive member of the family. Not until he turns 17.
I honestly did not expect such a reaction. So that my child, whom I raised and raised myself, would speak such nonsense. Needless to say, I left with a heavy heart after I told my daughter my point of view and everything I thought about her husband and his family. Separate budget, please tell me!
Tell me, do young people think this is normal? So that people who have to go side by side all their lives would do such nonsense? Or is it my son-in-law? My father and I are going to come over this weekend and talk to them about it very seriously. I don't want my daughter to live with a little crumb.
In this situation, of course, most pity mom. She simply does not understand how to live a husband and wife with such an agreement. But perhaps young people know better how to live. If they made that decision themselves.
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