Why parents of retirement age refuse to live with children

Relationships between people are complex and not always understandable. Some still from childhood think how to survive in school, and others do not care – no one is afraid and do not obey. Everyone has their own world order in their head. There are times when parental I have to conclude.



Editorial "Site" He likes to collect everything in life. And here comes another problem. Reading such a letter is not very pleasant. Because the facts are presented by only one side. But the question is open and something needs to be answered.

Agreement with parents

“Fate does not favor me. Lived in the capital, divorced. She stayed there for a few more years, until there was a crisis at the company where she worked. Reduced. I decided to go back to my parents’ hometown. I didn’t want to leave, but I knew I couldn’t stand it.

We agreed that I would look after them as much as I could, and they gave me a room, but they forbade me to bring anyone. A permanent job could not find, mostly part-time work from time to time. In general, everything in the house - and bought food, and medicines, and some clothes.

Driving aging parents to doctors. My father was deaf and my mother suddenly developed dementia. Nine years ago, I was so tired. It's all on me, except there's no job. I once told my parents that I wanted to separate.



I dared to talk about a change. We can change our three rooms. I would live in one, visit them several times a week, maybe life would work out. The two of them literally turned on me. The fights came, the police called, but they are not very interested in such stories. Left them. I packed up and was.

I live in the basement and don’t have enough money. I bought a discount subscription to the gym to wash there and at least do some sports. I have a small pension, I cannot get a job due to my age. I only go to my parents for seasonal clothes. I don't regret leaving.

But looking at old people hurts. Mother does not take the pill at all, rushes at me, she thinks that everything was taken from her. My father is closed, he doesn’t hear anything and doesn’t want to know anything. How they live like that, I don't know... I called Social Services, but it's useless. Can you tell me what to do? ?



The parents' contract. It seems that the situation is stalemate and nothing can be done. It is important to understand what this woman wanted, what she expected when she returned home. It was possible to stay in the capital, find a job there and not return to their parents. Yes, it happens that it is difficult to rebuild, but work is not something unattainable, you just need to want to find it, want to provide for yourself.

You can understand parents, too. Why should you change your life and change your home? In the end, all are already adults and father-mama-daughter relationships are no longer quite relevant. You have different ideas, different life experiences. And with age, any innovation is difficult for a person.



Perhaps there is a mutual resentment, it needs to be dealt with. Help your parents no matter what your relationship is. They are old and sick people who need to be taken care of. What do you do for yourself? Understand that they have the right to the life they like. And you need to build your own, even on the remnants of your past expectations.

From the editorial board, we will add five cents. Sometimes you don’t have to ask questions on a global scale. Magic wands - they are only in fairy tales, reality is leisurely and indifferent. Subscription to the hall, your corner - all this says that there is a desire to change something and life continues no matter what. You need to find a common language with your parents. If they understand what’s important to you, they’ll relent.



Parental agreement It is necessary, in the daughter-mother only children play. And you should never give up. While we are here, we can always do something good. Here is another link that deals with the subject of parents and children. Whatever you think, write in the comments.