My son's regret for taking an elderly mother to live with me

You always want the best, but it turns out as always. Alas, in most cases, we are not able to predict how certain events will develop. Especially in a righteous spiritual impulse, when everything seems to us nothing. Oh, mommy, mammy! Was that how it was supposed to happen? Mine. motherWhich one of us has changed, you or me?



Perhaps this is not the most joyful story that the editor will tell you. "Site". We are sure that each of us tries to do the best possible. But sometimes there's no choice. This is life, you always compromise. But you always have to choose. Between your conscience and objective reality.

Our relationship with my mother was different. I am a late child, it turned out in my parents when they were over forty. This age difference must have left its mark. As soon as I had the opportunity to leave, I did. Life with peers attracted me more, and I did not want to be a burden to older parents.



I can't say we had a problem with our mother, no. On the contrary, she was very sensitive to me, but she was quite domineering, and I did not always like her pressure. Distance distanced us even further. Okay, we call sometimes. In the end, the inevitable happened - the father died, and the mother was left alone.

I stayed with her for a month so I wouldn't leave one. It’s good to be able to work remotely for a while. It was strange to see her, an old woman, wandering in a haunted house. She suffered the loss of her father for almost sixty years.

Severe pain of loss

We consulted our own and together we decided to take our mother to us. Leaving her in the suburbs, in a lonely house, seemed terrible blasphemy. Talked to her, calmed her down. At first she did not want to move, but then she decided. Now I realize I just wanted to please. So we don't worry.

The house sold very quickly, I put all the money into a deposit account, and I added a small pension to my mother, deciding that I could fully provide it myself. The eldest daughter Masha was sent to the institute dormitory, especially since she had long wanted, and her mother was placed in her room.



It would seem that what problems could arise? However, everything that happened in my mother’s life affected her too much. Her yearning for home did not pass, and she became capricious. I understand that she wanted the best, but I didn’t realize in time how painful the loss would be. Neither did I.

Soon my mother began to feel that she had been stolen from the house and now I am forcibly holding her here. She started complaining that her belongings were missing, blaming my wife, my children and myself for everything. Claimed that I had taken her house and now she had to sit in her room like a prison. At first we didn’t care, but later the real scandals started.



We were saddened to be told by the specialists that we were faced with irreversible processes and that it was likely that my mother would continue to behave in this way. It would have happened anyway, even if we hadn't taken it and sold the house. On the contrary, they praised us for being so caring. A lot of people refuse custody. These guys jinxed us. The situation was getting worse every day.

Of course, I didn't confine my mother or lock myself. And one day, when we were all at work, she came out of the apartment into the yard and started calling for help. Who was the one who had to protect him from? Me, her own son. She accused me of mistreating her, taking away her pension and stealing everything from her.



The guardianship authorities did not take long to deal with them, to demonstrate the conditions in which the mother lives, to show documents that all her money and pension is in place, and she is on our full support. The guys told us directly, they say, now there is a place in a paid sanatorium for the elderly. Give your mother a chance and live normally.

To my shame, I agreed, and a few days later my elderly mother went to a nursing home. She looked at me longingly and there was betrayal in her eyes. I experienced a terrible heartache and told staff I had changed my mind. The woman who was with them told me to call in the morning and notify them of my final decision.



They arrived again this morning. To pick up her mother - at night, when everyone had gone to bed, she called the police hotline, informing them she was being killed. It is a very strange feeling when in the middle of the night a company of “cosmonauts” burst into your apartment with weapons, and then you still have to explain about the false call.

A month has passed since then. My mother lives in a sanatorium and refused my help. Her entire pension is being maintained. I'm not telling her it's two-thirds of what I owe and I'm paying the rest. I think she made friends with someone there. He does not want to see me and still thinks that I stole everything from her and left her in these dungeons.”



From such a story, the heart is not in place. On the one hand, kindredThe one who raised you, and the other an elderly man who obviously couldn't handle the piling up of circumstances. Be sure to write down what you think about this and whether you should have given your mother to a sanatorium.

It's a miracle if mother It shines with peace and grace. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. It is the duty of children to look after their parents. As much as possible. Read this article about what to thank your mom for while she's alive. And thank you for staying with us!