Why there are no Russian words for orphaned parents

I met a rich man and asked him what true prosperity meant. Then he asked me to write a letter to his family. The sage took a large sheet of paper and wrote: “I wish you that your father, son, and grandson should leave your life.” The rich man became angry: I asked you to write something for the prosperity of my family. Why are you kidding me? To this the sage replied, “I didn’t mean to joke,” Sengai explained. If your son dies before you, the loss of your child will make you very sad. If your grandson dies before your son, it will break your heart. If your family passes from generation to generation in the order I wrote, it will be a natural course of life. I call it true prosperity.”



It is impossible to imagine the pain of a mother who lost her child. Even after hearing a sad story from life, we will never feel the pain that an orphaned mother feels. Parents should not bury their children. And yet, no matter how mom and dad try to protect their child from trouble, unfortunately, they can not get ahead of the fate of fate.

The loss of a loved one, the loss of a child is a burden on the soul that will have to carry with it all your life. Some people can’t escape guilt for the rest of their lives, even if they can’t influence the outcome.



My boy was 19, he was a very kind guy, he didn’t have time to learn about the difficulties of adulthood. I get asked the same questions every time and I have to answer them. People don’t realize that after these conversations, I’ve been screaming into my pillow all evening, and I’ve been crying. Nothing can fill the void in me. People ask how long ago this happened, as if suffering fades with time. No, my son is not with me and will not be.



When something irreversible happens, they take you by the arm, they pity you, they cry with you. And then there's silence, and you can't talk about your grief anymore. And it's not going anywhere. You walk past the playground, watch other moms play with their kids. You look at young couples and think what your daughter-in-law would be like, how many grandchildren your son would give. It is someone else’s happiness that makes me burn from within with hatred and envy, self-pity.”



“There is no word in any language to describe a parent who has lost a child.” Every day I have to fill out forms and questionnaires that remind you that you no longer have a child. I went through a bunch of dictionaries, spent days searching the word online. A word that will save me from the empty talk of my mother's exhausted soul. A word that will not take away my nerves and strength from the sad stories I repeat day after day. But I didn't find anything.

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I thought about the same disadvantaged parents who lost their children. I felt responsible. In all instances, I filed petitions with a request to come up with a word that can be used to describe a parent who lost a child. I sent letters to the Ministry of Culture, Justice, Human Rights, linguists, psychotherapists.



Almost all of them answered dryly, even brutally. As cruel as do documents requiring to tick in the column “children”. They replied, “There is no need for neologism,” “childless again,” that is the sentence. As if a child could be erased from memory like a pencil on paper.”



Inaction is what destroys us. It is time to talk about what we care about, not what we are asked. This is the only way to stay afloat and fight back curious onlookers. No one will share your grief, we are responsible for ourselves. Why is there no word for orphaned parents?