What to do if you are constantly faced with the same unpleasant situations?
If your life repeats the same unpleasant and difficult situation may be, it registered as a bug in your unconscious and you are setting yourself up for failure. For example, go to the salon in advance and say to yourself: "Again, disgusting cut!"and so it goes, or "still I can't do it, even if you put me to work" and you refuse again and again.
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Three bad situation
Select three similar cases of the same bad events from global to small, which constantly ruins your life. For example, you are invited for an interview. You answered calmly and professionally, the chief nodded and talked about what are the advantages of this position. But in the middle of a conversation includes Secretary and says: "Ivan Petrovitch! Here are a few of the applicants and from the chief here...his protégé, from MGIMO. I'll put all the summary you'll see..." And suddenly you caught sight of the head, and you cringed inside, hands and feet became wadded. Throughout. A strong feeling that most likely will not take. You ask questions, and you have no enthusiasm look out the window and answer some standard phrases, but would not be silent.
This has happened several times already? Then remember three interviews, which were very similar, the same scenario. They present a long period when everything was fine, then came the moment when you are denied, but you have begun to doubt, to feel that everything will end badly.
Look at the situation from the outside
Imagine that you see this situation from the outside, not the eyes. Here knocked on the door and a man walked in a familiar suit and a bag that you remember to the smallest detail.
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It's you. View as if from above or from the side at you, you stayed and talked with the chief. The main task is to find the trigger zapusknoe the time of this environmentally damaging behavior. Note the time when you suddenly started to behave differently or carelessly, if you are not needed, or doomed, knowing that it is unlikely it will receive. For example, everything was running smoothly, but you heard about the competitor, and ached inside, and before my eyes swam. Did you feel that everything will be as usual and said to myself: "to hell with it! Not very desirable, is still far away from home, etc." on average, the trigger occurs in the span of a few seconds up to three minutes before failure.If it dawns on you: "No, do not come again!"although you and no one was going to refuse, you have already recorded yourself in the losers in advance and know it will all end. This is the trigger point of the breakdown that started polluting behavior.
It will be much easier if the trigger is for all situations are the same, often exactly the unconscious captures the failures of the same trigger. I will give an example. During the course of driving, on the road, I suddenly get tired and follow the instructions of the teacher very bad. Upset, bad mood. He said, "Well, what are you? Here it was necessary to switch the speed...."and suddenly I'm in the middle of the road doing something unimaginable. Once I let go of the pedal and the steering wheel and just sit there like in a stupor. He is amazed: "What are you doing this in traffic? How could even stop abruptly in the middle of the road, you realize if not you're going to hit, then take you from behind?"And I'm just terrified blink and do nothing. This is the trigger — when, sensing something was wrong, immediately in the middle of the road, often shaped, throw all the pedals and the steering wheel and not even trying to do anything. This is followed by the impending disaster.
An identical situation was at work once. I said something to the boss, then it dawned on me that she would take it personally and never will trust me. Said and stopped. It seemed to me that I can hear the air moving microparticles. She was silent, and I sit in front of computer and can do nothing, just looking at him, knowing that soon I have to leave work.
To rewrite the script
If you find your trigger, most of the work is done. Imagine the same situation, mentally cutting off the second part of the script immediately after the trigger, and replacing it with environmentally friendly, such as you would like. For example, return to the interview and look all over again. Here the door opened and you walked in, talking. Again at the end of the conversation includes a Secretary and says the exact same phrase. And the chief in your dreams abruptly interrupted by a Secretary: "Lyuda! Take, please, a summary would be required. We are now with Basil come together in the personnel Department. A protégé call, say three months is a vacancy..." etc. The trigger should remain in place. That is, the feeling that I will not take there, but you take. Even if between the trigger and the Holocaust only a few seconds, there is always a gap and we should keep him.
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Now repeat this same scenario with several different endings. Again look at ourselves. Again comes the Secretary and, seeing the bundle summary more successful applicants, you ammirite terror. And now let head says something else. For example, immediately after the trigger says: "Take our new employee to the accountant, Mikhail Alexandrovich..." or "Basil, I think we can do business together. Let us, with a trial period. As you look at it?"Each of these new scenarios to view three times — first dissociirovati, and then as if you are interviewing. Now you on top, let the unconscious will remember and internalize that you are a lucky man and everything you have in order. Failure for you is not the norm, but a great rarity and something out of the ordinary.
Now imagine that in the future there was a similar situation. How would I interviewed with your participation? If you come to mind in a positive situation, then the probability of success is high and you have properly performed the technique. This situation can be worked through, as they may cause the syndrome of acquired helplessness when you just put your hands down and won't even try to do something. published