The beginning of the formation accounts for 3-4 years. But in 7 years in a scenario are significant detail. With 7-12 years he improved, added changes to certain provisions.
As example, consider a situation where the mother raises the son of the soft boys, without manifestations of aggression. She tells him that fighting is bad, the world is cruel, but it should not be the same. In kindergarten it's not bad. Here the boy meets the vision of the ideal child, he's not evil, not aggressive.When this mechanism begins to interfere with the child?
Most likely in adolescence, when will the competition. The child is unable to defend its interests, it becomes insecure. He goes to the Institute, where this mechanism is only strengthened. In the end, he may remain and interfere with a person life.
Can the scenario the time to get out of the stressful situation?
Of course. Occur when stress, breaks the protection, and the person begins to experience a feeling that something is wrong. Accordingly, it is included in the script and begins to do as was laid down in childhood. Who writes this script?
Each parent has a certain effect on the child, but everything else –the decision ourselves. The script writes itself.
He takes his under the influence but your own.
As an example, consider a situation when two girls growing up in similar conditions. Dad periodically drinking and "chasing" the mother that forgives. The woman explains that women's destiny is to endure, family is a big job to keep it you should make effort and so the First girl decides to be like mom. In the future she will find a man who will treat her and she will suffer.
The second girls is caused protest reaction. The mother and her explanations she feels a certain contempt. And then she formed a scenario solution "I will be strong and not let anyone poke fun at themselves". Her credo becomes, "I'll prove to these men." And all of her future relationships will be subject to one rule – it should show your partner that she has an inner core, and it will not allow itself to offend. In this case, any behaviour of the young person will be perceived in bayonets. Even innocuous late it will be considered neglect of themselves. In the end, it is likely that all her relationships will end in quarrels and scandals.Features of scenario solutions are that:
Scenario decisions are based on illogical thinking and emotional experiences of the child.
- They are formed under the influence of the environment.
- They are influenced by the type of reaction child.
- This is the best survival strategy of the child in a certain situation.
For example, the parents quarrel, and the child believes that he is. How he came to these conclusions is unclear, but adults often forget that thinking of the baby differs significantly from their own.Scenario solutions are the best coping strategy of the child to the situation.
For example, the desire to be invisible usually occurs in children who do not expect anything good from the attention of the parents. In the future, such a child may choose a profession where the minimum contact with people, for example, of a programmer. He would avoid the society and try to be as quiet and discreet.Scenario solutions typically arise, if not met the child's need for care and protection.
If the baby is exposed to forces, and he understands that until you give in, life will be hard, it is subject to the situation. This occurs, for example, when parents present to the child unreasonable demands. In the end, the baby refuses the natural needs, knowing that it is easier to give in. He adapts to the situation. It adapts their behavior and expectation to what is happening.Feature of scenario solutions is that they are at that age when it is impossible to do consciously.
They are supported by parents and surrounding people. You need to remember that forcing a child to make a decision for adults not. However, they have a huge impact on what the kid chooses. The parents convey to the child messages, which form the basis of decision-making.
What gives a person the scenario solution?
In the first place, it makes life easier and increases the momentary satisfaction. But at the same time you must know that helping to survive in childhood, it interferes with life adult.
Types of response to impact are the following:
The choice of reaction depends on:
- free choice, free from script solution.
Features of the child's thinking lies in the fact that it is different from the adult. For children characteristic interpretation.
They move from the particular to the General. Some children are perfectly normal to carry a heavy stressful situation, others have simple cases scripts are formed to prevent them in the future.
Examples of the illogical thinking of the child include the following: "the Parents quarrel, my fault", "Mom is not paying attention to me, then to me something is wrong", etc.
One of my friend in his childhood was sent to boarding school after the family had a second child, and worsened the financial situation. He was taken on vacations and weekends, however, in most cases, so he sat with a younger child, while the adults were doing their thing. What decision he had?
All betray me. When he became an adult, he survived three marriages. In each of them he walked away from his wife, left her alone with the problems, had fun. But the pattern was different every time the divorce was due to the fact that he was caught wife with his close friend in an intimate atmosphere.Why everything happened?
The script "betrays" was to find a confirmation. He provoked women to ensure that they got back at him because of his adultery he did not hide. And every time he once again convinced, "you can't trust anyone".
What decisions are made by people as a result of formation of a script?
The existential position.
This option is chosen by people with self-esteem "I+ if you-". For example, a girl who believes that she is a nobody (I-), lives with a man in the position of the victim. Provoking him to the scandals and reproaches, she subconsciously forces him to leave. And when she gets dumped, she once again reaffirms its position.Racketeering in the feeling.
Those who remember the 90-ies of the last century know what racketeering means weaning. In other words, this feeling, to substitute all that needs to occur adequately in this situation. For example, resentment, guilt, which are often replaced with anger and rage, when a person unjustly accused of something. This is racketeering in the feelings that replace authentic emotion. "T-shirt".
This solution represents the situation when the person says one thing, and behind it is written what a man wants actually. For example, in a scenario of the victim, "don't touch me" on the back may sound "beat me." Or on the face can see "I want a family", and the reverse side of this "we need to leave."
Any scenario from childhood, we accept ourselves. And if we want to prevent us to fully live, or we want to part with it, depends on us.published
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©