Advice for young wives from an older wife

The first and most important advice is to become a wife only when you want to, and only the one you choose. Don’t let anyone influence this decision – not your fears, not your friends, not your mum with your lips tucked in. When you realize in a few years that it wasn't your decision and file for divorce, your mom's lips will press even harder, so make sure you really want to be your husband's wife before you go to the registry office.

Advice for young wives



Well, if you are confident in your choice and in your decision, then the advice to you is love. Or rather, a few tips:

1. Make an agreement on the shore: at the very beginning of your life together, talk about your expectations and habits in everyday life, finances, leisure. Make sure that you understand what is “treason”, “betrayal”, “alcoholism”, “personal freedom”, etc., in order to avoid unnecessary conflicts.Discuss what is unacceptable for each of you in all areas of life together.

2. Learn to stop in time, and mostly shut your mouth. The desire to leave the last word for themselves is absolutely not constructive, experienced wives know that sometimes it is better to remain silent and not to bring the dispute to a conflict in order to calmly achieve their goal.

3. From the very beginning, protect your family space from relatives and parents – nothing makes life more difficult than involving relatives in your problems. Make every effort to live apart from your parents, even if they are the most wonderful in the world. Relatives can interfere in your life for the best of intentions, but the most correct reaction is to politely and immediately send everyone to the garden.






4. Don't expect your husband to be telepathic.Many young wives believe that their spouse must read thoughts from a distance and immediately understand what he did wrong. With age comes a very clear understanding that if you want to achieve something from a person, “say with your mouth” – do not expect that he “will guess.” He wouldn't guess, 99 out of 100.

5. Don't get hurt.Resentment and silence is often the first and natural reaction, but it makes no sense. Since you have chosen a husband, learn to live with him and learn to explain to him exactly what offends you and why.

6. Do not run away from problems to your mother or friends, learn to deal with difficulties in your own family on your own. Complaining to your husband to your mother is also the first and natural reaction, but since you are now a wife and an adult, it is better not to worry about your fights. You and your husband will make up, and your mother will have a sediment. And even the wisest mother resentments against her husband daughter accumulate over time, you reconciled and forgot, and mother already perceives the situation in your family differently.

7. Do not tolerate aggression in your direction, neither emotional nor, especially, physical. If your husband raises his hand, pack your bags and leave, in time you can forgive, but you can not give a second chance. If he crosses the line once, he will most likely cross it again, not only for you, but also for future children.

8. Learn to praise your husband. Alone and with strangers. Emphasize his achievements, talk about what he has achieved. Always acknowledge his efforts and efforts. It is important for us all to be praised, the support of our wife helps a man grow in all spheres – work, family and personal.





9. Make a habit of pleasing your husband with small surprises, pleasant things, just beautiful moments. Not necessarily gifts, you can download a good movie or bother and cook his favorite dish. After a while, the habit of pleasing each other will become your family tradition, and this habit will allow you to keep the romance for many years.

10. Learn team play. A team is when you have common goals, understanding what you both want and sharing responsibilities. And the team is about support and “united front”: never argue with your husband and do not criticize him in front of strangers, even if you fundamentally disagree with his point of view. You will settle your differences in private, for everyone else you are one team.


11. Don't play the perfect wife.With the restaurant menu and the service of a five-star hotel, over time, any efforts are taken by the husband and family as a given and cease to be appreciated. The mistress in the kitchen, the lady in the salon and the prostitute in bed are urban legends, you don’t have to match the picture in the magazine.

12. Do not make your husband the center of your universe, always keep your circle of interests and a source of small but stable income. This not only retains the respect of the man, but also gives you room to maneuver.

13. Communicate with friends, keep your hobbies and interestsIn which the husband is not involved - you, like him, should have personal territory, balance is very important for maintaining harmony.

14. Don't relax.Marriage is not an Olympus that you have to climb to rest on your laurels, gaining extra pounds and gradually degrading. Develop as a person, show and preserve all three of your hypostases – a mistress, a mother and a funny girl to be cared for and pampered.

15. Respect your husband’s personal freedom and space, there are too many young wives. It happens that the husband should just leave to dull on the couch, there is no drama in this.

16. Don't get freaked out about the housework.Domestic violence is the episode, not the end of the movie. All couples go through the household laundry stage, you are no exception.

17. A passport stamp is not a lifelong contract, never take your family and your happiness for granted.Be grateful that your loved one is there, and be prepared for things to change. This helps to set priorities correctly.

18. Save the trust.Stupid lying about something ridiculous can poison trust in serious matters.

19. Learn to argue without going to conflict, read articles on conflictology, find the word “congruence” in the dictionary. The ability to find the truth in a juicy, but not offensive dispute is the key to a long and happy family life.

20. Give in to your husband in small things, family life is not a competition in which you have to prove that you are righter than your husband. Make compromises in matters of minor importance, and always make an emphasis on this, so that in matters of principle you have a trump card on your hands - "I always give in to you!"



P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness – together we change the world!

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