"The scourge of our century": a hilarious explanatory!

When I worked in the police, I had a chance to read one of the explanatory. Here is the text:

"On may 14 I, Sidorov Ivan V., came with his wife and newborn son for a walk. At the Playground near my house the company of three girls and three boys drank alcoholic beverages. Their extremely loud laughter and swearing disturbed my young son, he woke up and cried. My wife and I have never been able to calm him down, because the aforementioned group of young people swore obscenities and laughed loudly. I approached them and politely asked them to be a little quieter, as they interfere with my family. To this request the girls from the company started to shout obscene words in the address of his wife, and one guy yelled at me and then struck.

I didn't want to get into a fight, so I tried to explain to the guy that he's ugly, behaves, and inadvertently waved his right hand in his direction. But in the same moment, the guy suddenly leaned forward, wanting to strike me again, and bumped his face on my hand. Then he was suddenly asleep, and he lay down to sleep in standing next to the sandbox. Such a sharp change in body position from vertical position to horizontal caused the guy has a nosebleed. The doctor noted that unstable blood pressure — the scourge of our century and the majority of young people affected by this disease.

Friends, this guy fled in different directions to get help. Their screams eventually drew the attention of the patrol, which took me, Sidorov Ivan V., in the Department to determine the circumstances of the incident."

via factroom.ru