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10 Mistakes in Intent to Change Eating Behavior
Major Mistakes in Intent to Change Behavior
Mistake one. Don’t count on willpower – it doesn’t exist.
Again she's at my reception, cozy, round, plump and... sad. "I'm very, very unhappy with myself," she pulls pityingly and inflates her sponges. “I made the decision to completely stop eating candy, I gave myself my word – and I couldn’t stand it!” She hands me her “food diary,” a beautiful, blue-colored, thick book. One page reads, “From today onwards, I will stop eating candy completely.” Two days later, I couldn’t stand it! It's so hard! What am I supposed to do? Lots of elbows and exclamation marks.
Mistake two. Don’t make big changes, take small steps.
She looks at me with hopeful and desperate eyes, her lips shaking, her eyes full of tears. I am so disappointed in myself, so disappointed! “Of course,” I say, “because you’ve set your sights on something that no one has ever done before.” No one can, without strong resistance, immediately quit smoking, completely give up coffee, and so on. Do you think you can do without chocolate and candy one day a week? A single day, and on the other days, can you eat whatever you want?
Her face is clearing. “Yes, one day a week I can probably do it.” - She says confidently.
Mistake three. Don’t ignore your environment – changing it can change your behavior.
"Great," I say, "let's look at your regular week." On which day is it easiest for you not to eat? She works twice a week, cashier in a large chain of household chemicals stores and mass-market cosmetics. "When I'm at work... I'm busy at work, it's interesting. I work on Tuesdays and Fridays... Tuesdays. I can't stay at home.”
"Tuesday is the only day in the week when you can't eat candy," I say. “All the other days you can eat whatever you want – just keep writing it down.”
Mistake four. Trying to stop unwanted behavior instead of creating desirable behavior.
Almost every patient in the clinic, including A., is fixed on this magical NOT: not to eat (after eight, six, between the main meals, candy, chips, chocolate, preferably not to eat!). One of the hardest things to do is to make NO of YES.It shows the importance of positively articulating a goal consisting, if mechanistically, in new patterns of certain behavior. It helps to ask questions about the meaning-forming motive: why are you here in our program? Patients know: I want to lose weight - the answer is wrong, not accepted, need another.“I want to be healthy,” “I want to stay active longer,” “I want to be able to enjoy life.” Here in this place, the therapist must turn into a bulldog and cling to the motive.
I want to stay healthy – how exactly? What health problems do you have right now, how are they bothering you? What changes do you want to make? Maximum concrete, weighty, rough, visible: reduce blood sugar by how many units? Lower cholesterol to what level?
I want to be active – why? What will you do if you become more active?
To enjoy life – how exactly, please read the whole list? Yeah, you want to be able to play with your grandchildren? What can you do with your current level of physical activity?
And after that, you can safely allow to eat candy - provided that the patient will devote daily time to these specific goals.
Mistake five. Laying responsibility for failure on lack of motivation.
A. listens to me literally with her whole body, her face lightens a little bit. “So it’s not just about me?” The relief and hope she feels now flicker in the cabinet air like Christmas lights. I want to take her in my arms like a big cat and pat her on the head. “Of course, not just you. It's about how behavior works. It cannot be changed in one fell swoop, no matter how much motivation you have. It takes time and patience.”
She looks very different now. This is no longer a confused, dissatisfied woman, this is again a person ready to fight his illness.
Mistake six. Do not underestimate the power of triggers.
Truth be told, we haven't reached the triggers with A yet. She eats certain things at certain moments, but what exactly is the trigger, in what situations she runs to the cherished cupboard with sweets – I don’t know yet. There is always a trigger: certain, often unconscious, circumstances, words, experiences trigger the usual automatisms.
Mistake seven. The belief that information leads to change.
Alas, knowing is not the same as doing. People tend to think that they are rational. That's why my clinic is full of patients saying, I know how to eat right, I just can't do it. . .
Mistake eight. Focus on abstract goals instead of specific ones.
We're all smart, we've all read about the proximate development zone. And -- we're all scientists -- we need to put the task a little above the possibilities. Otherwise, you know, it becomes uninteresting at once. So if we swing, then immediately. And forever. Well, it doesn't work. If you want to change your behavior, set as simple and clear tasks as possible.
See the error of the fourth: specify. If the goal is proper and healthy eating, start with a healthy dinner. Twice a week, at least three months. Just dinner, only twice. If the goal is to learn a foreign language, let it be half an hour, three times a week. Always at a certain point in the day. Three hours after lunch, whatever happens. This is how the skeleton is built, on which it is then possible to “grow the meat” of behavioral changes.
Mistake nine. Trying to change behavior “forever.”
"Forever is a very long time," I say to A. in a "ridiculous voice," portraying a harmful old teacher. “Forever is so much that neither you nor I will likely live. Why do we need "forever"? Let's start at the place you can see. Can you not eat chocolate and candy once a week for a month? A. nods affirmatively. “Then that is our target for the next month, January. And when and if you're ready, in February we can try twice a week. And in three months a miracle will happen.
A. looks at me, her face glows, glows: “Miracle?”
Yes. If you can withstand two to three times a week without chocolate for at least a couple of months, your need for insulin, and as a result, sweets, will be greatly reduced and it will be much easier to control. It's pure physiology, but it's very convenient for us that it works that way.”
That's it. A huge, terrible underbed monster of daily eating of chocolate turned into several not the most pleasant, but quite peaceful underbed lice, which can be expelled in three months with a mop.
Mistake ten. People are convinced that changing behavior is very difficult. It's not if you know how it works.
That's what I'm saying to A. Oh, if only it was about behavior. . .
Author: Svetlana Ilyina
P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness – together we change the world!
Source: svetlyachok.livejournal.com/566560.html
Mistake one. Don’t count on willpower – it doesn’t exist.
Again she's at my reception, cozy, round, plump and... sad. "I'm very, very unhappy with myself," she pulls pityingly and inflates her sponges. “I made the decision to completely stop eating candy, I gave myself my word – and I couldn’t stand it!” She hands me her “food diary,” a beautiful, blue-colored, thick book. One page reads, “From today onwards, I will stop eating candy completely.” Two days later, I couldn’t stand it! It's so hard! What am I supposed to do? Lots of elbows and exclamation marks.
Mistake two. Don’t make big changes, take small steps.
She looks at me with hopeful and desperate eyes, her lips shaking, her eyes full of tears. I am so disappointed in myself, so disappointed! “Of course,” I say, “because you’ve set your sights on something that no one has ever done before.” No one can, without strong resistance, immediately quit smoking, completely give up coffee, and so on. Do you think you can do without chocolate and candy one day a week? A single day, and on the other days, can you eat whatever you want?
Her face is clearing. “Yes, one day a week I can probably do it.” - She says confidently.
Mistake three. Don’t ignore your environment – changing it can change your behavior.
"Great," I say, "let's look at your regular week." On which day is it easiest for you not to eat? She works twice a week, cashier in a large chain of household chemicals stores and mass-market cosmetics. "When I'm at work... I'm busy at work, it's interesting. I work on Tuesdays and Fridays... Tuesdays. I can't stay at home.”
"Tuesday is the only day in the week when you can't eat candy," I say. “All the other days you can eat whatever you want – just keep writing it down.”
Mistake four. Trying to stop unwanted behavior instead of creating desirable behavior.
Almost every patient in the clinic, including A., is fixed on this magical NOT: not to eat (after eight, six, between the main meals, candy, chips, chocolate, preferably not to eat!). One of the hardest things to do is to make NO of YES.It shows the importance of positively articulating a goal consisting, if mechanistically, in new patterns of certain behavior. It helps to ask questions about the meaning-forming motive: why are you here in our program? Patients know: I want to lose weight - the answer is wrong, not accepted, need another.“I want to be healthy,” “I want to stay active longer,” “I want to be able to enjoy life.” Here in this place, the therapist must turn into a bulldog and cling to the motive.
I want to stay healthy – how exactly? What health problems do you have right now, how are they bothering you? What changes do you want to make? Maximum concrete, weighty, rough, visible: reduce blood sugar by how many units? Lower cholesterol to what level?
I want to be active – why? What will you do if you become more active?
To enjoy life – how exactly, please read the whole list? Yeah, you want to be able to play with your grandchildren? What can you do with your current level of physical activity?
And after that, you can safely allow to eat candy - provided that the patient will devote daily time to these specific goals.
Mistake five. Laying responsibility for failure on lack of motivation.
A. listens to me literally with her whole body, her face lightens a little bit. “So it’s not just about me?” The relief and hope she feels now flicker in the cabinet air like Christmas lights. I want to take her in my arms like a big cat and pat her on the head. “Of course, not just you. It's about how behavior works. It cannot be changed in one fell swoop, no matter how much motivation you have. It takes time and patience.”
She looks very different now. This is no longer a confused, dissatisfied woman, this is again a person ready to fight his illness.
Mistake six. Do not underestimate the power of triggers.
Truth be told, we haven't reached the triggers with A yet. She eats certain things at certain moments, but what exactly is the trigger, in what situations she runs to the cherished cupboard with sweets – I don’t know yet. There is always a trigger: certain, often unconscious, circumstances, words, experiences trigger the usual automatisms.
Mistake seven. The belief that information leads to change.
Alas, knowing is not the same as doing. People tend to think that they are rational. That's why my clinic is full of patients saying, I know how to eat right, I just can't do it. . .
Mistake eight. Focus on abstract goals instead of specific ones.
We're all smart, we've all read about the proximate development zone. And -- we're all scientists -- we need to put the task a little above the possibilities. Otherwise, you know, it becomes uninteresting at once. So if we swing, then immediately. And forever. Well, it doesn't work. If you want to change your behavior, set as simple and clear tasks as possible.
See the error of the fourth: specify. If the goal is proper and healthy eating, start with a healthy dinner. Twice a week, at least three months. Just dinner, only twice. If the goal is to learn a foreign language, let it be half an hour, three times a week. Always at a certain point in the day. Three hours after lunch, whatever happens. This is how the skeleton is built, on which it is then possible to “grow the meat” of behavioral changes.
Mistake nine. Trying to change behavior “forever.”
"Forever is a very long time," I say to A. in a "ridiculous voice," portraying a harmful old teacher. “Forever is so much that neither you nor I will likely live. Why do we need "forever"? Let's start at the place you can see. Can you not eat chocolate and candy once a week for a month? A. nods affirmatively. “Then that is our target for the next month, January. And when and if you're ready, in February we can try twice a week. And in three months a miracle will happen.
A. looks at me, her face glows, glows: “Miracle?”
Yes. If you can withstand two to three times a week without chocolate for at least a couple of months, your need for insulin, and as a result, sweets, will be greatly reduced and it will be much easier to control. It's pure physiology, but it's very convenient for us that it works that way.”
That's it. A huge, terrible underbed monster of daily eating of chocolate turned into several not the most pleasant, but quite peaceful underbed lice, which can be expelled in three months with a mop.
Mistake ten. People are convinced that changing behavior is very difficult. It's not if you know how it works.
That's what I'm saying to A. Oh, if only it was about behavior. . .
Author: Svetlana Ilyina
P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness – together we change the world!
Source: svetlyachok.livejournal.com/566560.html
