Bashny.Net
Frozen pain
Bashny.Net
Freud was clearly a genius. In his time, to say that childhood affects the entire life and the unconscious into our everyday routine, all the same what to speak then about the glowing boxes which will carry every inhabitant of the land, and if you want from Vienna to talk with someone in new York, just attach a box to the ear.
Today, in addition to reality "boxes to communicate" the obvious reality of the impact on brain development story of growing up. Childhood experiences have the most plastic brain times and literally sculpts man. Personality grows through reproduction environment, through the way the person reflects the world around us, including through the "what an idiot you are, hands not from that place" "what are you lazy jerk, get ready faster," via "you're a jerk like your dad." The brain is trained automatically, matrix, critical thinking will rise later, when the frontal lobe Matures, but for now all is perceived without the filter – and Santa Claus, and "you're worthless" and "look what mother has brought". So arranged that the knowledge about the world and about yourself child receives from non-judgmental person with whom he has formed a connection.
And one the most famous prediction of Freud – the unconscious — has been confirmed. In 1970-e years the American psychologist Benjamin Libet conducted his famous experiments that have excited the scientific community, but somehow it passed by a wide audience. The experiments that gave rise to a new debate about free will, a lot of books neuropsychologists from dick Saab to Susan Blackmore, which is not even the question whether the unconscious, and that sounds concern – if any?
Science only describes phenomena, interprets the results to a particular philosophical culture — and here was something to think about. Experiment tells us that the commitment is not as a result of our decision, and Vice versa – our consciousness only observes and all that it can, it seems, is to veto. To slow down. And he is, to put it mildly, not much time. 200 milliseconds. 200 milliseconds freedom.
Then who makes the decisions? Brain? And what kind of algorithm by which he does it? It activates the most commonly used behavioral schema – including the one that formed us in the childhood environment. So over time, the traits become a pathology – the road you often travel becomes a rut from which no way out and a little suspicious woman can turn into a clinical paranoid in your old age (I am somewhat oversimplifying, genetics also builds your neural connections, forming a matrix of reactions and is responsible for how fast will shrink the soil and turn a small recess in a rut).
In General, human culture emerged with the advent of the first taboo – consciousness is beginning to fulfill his daunting task — to slow down. Evolution suffered for a long time to release the resource of the brain (as automating everything that can be automated and solving the tricky problem of energy supply) for the part that can say "stop" subcortical monkey. By the way, the Christian idea of the posts is also about training the braking, the most important skill, a skill that pulls a person from a biological auto-causal chain reactions.
Why is it so hard to slow down? Imagine a rock rolling from the mountain: in the beginning of the slope it is still possible to stop, after almost impossible. Any reaction is the power to stop it need more power. Moreover, the energy from the braking you need to do something with. So you ride the bus home, the end of the day, the crowd, the fatigue, the clients were tortured, head once inadequate, and somebody next to you pushed you and said "Cho, walking funny, the place is small"? Automatic reaction – the anger, the stone has ALREADY started to go down. You not launched it, but then you have very little time to brake. "Sorry," almost incredible feat out of your lips. To answer means to multiply evil, wounding the offender, because he will have somewhere to containerwith, and judging from his behavior he hasn't. When no one is able to stop the quarrel develops into a fight and the body takes the hit, matter is destroyed to stop the evil.
From the very first second appearance in this world we need to do something with the energy released during the collision of our desires (or desire) with reality. Hungry newborn baby cries, as they get older he may have to POSTPONE Creek. And over time, a lot of things he will learn to tolerate and be postponed to a suitable time – hunger, trips to the toilet, sexual impulses. Actually, this is what Freud wrote, speaking about stages of development: oral, anal, genital – where in the body the desires that one learns to slow down.
What happens to the energy when braking? And again, think of Freud and his concept of ID – the unconscious image of a certain "container", one of whose functions is to store energy from braking unrealized desires. A newborn with containerpanel bad (but so it should be – this skill increases "outside mom", in contact with the environment) – he has all the impulses are immediately expressed in behavior, and then – the whole life training. Here only the training conditions are different.
An adult near the child it is his container "to put the troubles in the mother" means to give her another little container to develop normally without clogging his eyeballs. The child may much cry from crap and scratches to resort to mom's lap to have her container, put your important to him feelings he could not yet endure as an adult can't respond "well what are you crying like a little". That is why adults often childhood experiences seem to be nonsense, although it does not seem strange that a child can not afford to lift what can easily take up an adult.
The child puts the complexity into an adult. Unless, of course, the adult is where to put the... "He is guilty, where I climbed", "serves you right, you think better" or mother is simply not around. No one near. And then the pain is frozen. And it will be as a partisan in the trenches waiting in the wings – the war is over, and she suddenly appears out of nowhere with a grenade and shouting "die all". This is often a surprise to the man himself. Lots of studies indicate a high correlation of temper tantrums and difficult childhood.
A container filled with injuries like a freezer? Then the daily frustrations simply have nowhere to fit in behavior we are seeing is a person who is willing to burn to the ground with the staff alive cafe, where the waiter was not polite – he was not only nowhere to lay down a grudge, got a pebble still activates all accumulated over the life time and the REAL subjective experience of pain from harsh words like with a person has done something well, very scary. Hence, this asymmetry of the reaction. Translating into the language of neuroscience since merged neural circuit. People can then feel sorry and repent, but this does not prevent such reactions in the future.
In totalitarian States of the early separation from parents as if a part of the politics of education (see, in the same North Korea the way the system of education of children). In the Soviet Union in three months, a woman had to go to work, send their children to the nursery. In hospitals (read – with weak own resource) from a very young age – without a mother. This system cripples not only the child but also the parent, undermining even if biological attachment to offspring. Parent is physically and/or emotionally (closed container for a child) there, and all the burdens of reality, the child is forced to do something with. Or tomatisalat (all diseases of the body), or freeze up other times.
Frost neskondensirovannyh childhood injuries – the basis of any harassment and bullying.
Deviant child behavior. Problems with adopted children, which warn foster parents. High school students bullying younger, as once mocked them. Pedophiles often become victims of violence. The evil boss is usually the one who crawled on the career ladder from the very bottom and "everyone remembers". Army. Prison. Why would you do what was done to you, if you know HOW much IT HURTS? Because you (your neural chains) it seems that there is a chance to finally vent frozen pain. On someone who is weaker, and therefore will be FORCED to accept it – children, the elderly, the disabled, the mentally ill, animals... It is the temptation of the supermarket without protection – now everything is possible and nothing for you it will not. But this is only an illusion. The illusion of temporary relief. Pseudomorphism.
And so do traumatized children when they themselves become parents – that appeared dependent creature opens a portal to hell: it seems that the words themselves come to mind "I told you not to climb, what do you want", "I'm in a children's home will hand the bastard" "not the triangle is stupid and you're stupid". Child the fact of its existence makes the resource request, but it is not. There is only trauma and resentment.
As the first Christians went to slaughter to the blood thirsty crowd (became containers for hatred) and a child is born (though without his consent) becomes a lamb on the altar of parental trauma. He breaks through his appearance already flimsy dam restraining the turbulent river accumulated. In a society where legalized toxic attitude to children, such child does not cause problems in others – all have lived and live. This gives final absolution to violence in the family, in relation to their children. And then there is almost no chance to take it 200 milliseconds of the freedom of braking to stop the arm from the slap and the language from "why I just had a baby thing". Neither the resource nor the time nor the incentive to stop the pathological, but has already become too traditional means of communication with the child. The man is rolling on the track of neural circuits, losing what can be called free will.
It is often in the culture of turning the other cheek, that is to containerevent someone else's rage in itself, is considered a weakness. The one who forgives Lough. Who do not play the game "their own fault" — a coward and a weakling. Not to whine (that is, to Express the pain on the outside), people in the besieged Leningrad were dying of hunger, and you whine that the work problems, as if this man would stop to share the pain, the sacrifices will rise and happily healed. All these "the children in Africa are starving" — a rejection of containerbase, because their no place to put, where else is someone else's. However, forgiveness is not weakness, this is the most powerful force of all possible, something that is stronger than the power of automatic hatred. Forgiveness is when all your neurons are ready for destruction and you're 200 milliseconds withdraws the hand and fired into the air. To be able to forgive is a skill, which means he trains with the increase of the loads can move to new levels. First you learn to forgive friends, then enemies. 200 milliseconds for each approach in practice.
A container full of injuries and yet always predictable thing for manipulation. For example, a manipulative parent can easily deduce from itself is already an adult child, causing anger, resentment, irritation only one phrase like "And that when grandchildren will be, mother'll die soon, won't wait for you, they only think about themselves. What are you freaking out as always, what did I say. Oh, you childhood psycho". It'll take time to practice braking, which will look like a calm phrase "Mom, you're still a very young beauty, give me rather a sister or brother, I want to be babied!" or the more adventurous "Mom, I understand your anxiety, but now I have other plans for my body and my time."
And if for any reasons, the society concentrates a large number of people willing to respond to his injury is more a matter of technique to show them who you can attack. Moreover, they will adore the person who gave them this permission, it seems to them as a liberator from a personal hell. And it may be like at the family level (what disappointment feels brother from forgiveness of the father in the story of the prodigal son – who bad now that I was better?), at the level of individual groups (on the film "Scarecrow"), and global (dirty nation, backward population and so "they're not human let them hurt the beat" — a vivid example of the global epidemic of fatphobia wishes all die "overweight" from a heart attack/cancer/break stomach).
It is important to understand the ideological shell for hatred is always secondary, it is derivative, which is not always immediately visible to the original function. The kernel is broken personal container (and their amount in the population), which is also filled with raw waste – nematicide parents, violence in kindergarten, bullying at school and.... the temptation is impossible to resist, the temptation to lay down the pain in the other, assigned blame, especially when the lid of its container compromised situation – now he will receive from me...
The question is where to put the energy daily frustrations? Situational — it can be everything from sarcasm watching jokes stand-up comic on forbidden topics (which is of course public legalized aggression) before the evening training session of Boxing legalized (physical aggression).The freer social mores, the more safe methods of discharge of energy from braking – because of the many extra meaningless "no" again forced to slow down (wrong to divorce even if the husband has to look only a certain way no matter what it takes, on these topics one cannot speak, etc.).
But if it is a private container large enough operates more or less healthy way and environment is not overcome by horrors like wars, deaths of loved ones, violence and so on. And if the container global issues, then there is the question of therapy (and the therapist in fact the reserve container, operating according to certain rules and within a therapeutic relationship, taking things that are not required to take the people on a friendship or even a relationship), but for believers – the issue of religion, for in the words, "Come unto Me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." [Matt. 11:18] is the image of God, as an infinite container.
All of the above can not be solved here and now. It's a matter of time, but seeing as adequate parents becomes more like optional already to send their children to government institutions almost from birth, as you can stay with a child in the hospital and tradition of punitive medicine hotly debated and condemned, as it becomes acceptable to talk about the problems of parenthood aloud unbranded "tagemet not Noah" – it gives us all hope that there will be other times, woven from people with a more robust psyche.
I want to remind you that Christ called the cross — calling each to take out evil. It is against logic, against human customs and opinions, often contrary to what we were taught. "We preach Christ crucified – to the Jews a stumbling Greeks madness" [1 Cor. 1:22]
Is to love their children, despite the chorus of angry voices from his traumatic childhood and external review "don't take a hands — spoil", "what a sissy raise", "hit him properly, let him know", "tell him to hit back always." This is not to take revenge on someone who by all human standards this deserves revenge.
Also interesting: the Sense of justice: our little LIES to ourselves
Awareness. Mind. Good and Evil
They say that in the world there is no justice. Yes, but the world is Love, and Love is the greatest injustice. Not fair to help someone who needs like to be your enemy. Not fair to love someone who brings you pain. Not fair to do good and not to get recognition, but continue to do it. Not fair to give strangers hard-earned money to solve their problems. Not fair to risk my life for other people, bringing them out of the fire.
And I'd love to be the injustice a people have always found strength and a resource in themselves and in loved ones.published
Author: Julia Lapina
illustrations Igor Morski
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: www.facebook.com/psychology.lapina/posts/1907001759528069
Today, in addition to reality "boxes to communicate" the obvious reality of the impact on brain development story of growing up. Childhood experiences have the most plastic brain times and literally sculpts man. Personality grows through reproduction environment, through the way the person reflects the world around us, including through the "what an idiot you are, hands not from that place" "what are you lazy jerk, get ready faster," via "you're a jerk like your dad." The brain is trained automatically, matrix, critical thinking will rise later, when the frontal lobe Matures, but for now all is perceived without the filter – and Santa Claus, and "you're worthless" and "look what mother has brought". So arranged that the knowledge about the world and about yourself child receives from non-judgmental person with whom he has formed a connection.
And one the most famous prediction of Freud – the unconscious — has been confirmed. In 1970-e years the American psychologist Benjamin Libet conducted his famous experiments that have excited the scientific community, but somehow it passed by a wide audience. The experiments that gave rise to a new debate about free will, a lot of books neuropsychologists from dick Saab to Susan Blackmore, which is not even the question whether the unconscious, and that sounds concern – if any?
Science only describes phenomena, interprets the results to a particular philosophical culture — and here was something to think about. Experiment tells us that the commitment is not as a result of our decision, and Vice versa – our consciousness only observes and all that it can, it seems, is to veto. To slow down. And he is, to put it mildly, not much time. 200 milliseconds. 200 milliseconds freedom.
Then who makes the decisions? Brain? And what kind of algorithm by which he does it? It activates the most commonly used behavioral schema – including the one that formed us in the childhood environment. So over time, the traits become a pathology – the road you often travel becomes a rut from which no way out and a little suspicious woman can turn into a clinical paranoid in your old age (I am somewhat oversimplifying, genetics also builds your neural connections, forming a matrix of reactions and is responsible for how fast will shrink the soil and turn a small recess in a rut).
In General, human culture emerged with the advent of the first taboo – consciousness is beginning to fulfill his daunting task — to slow down. Evolution suffered for a long time to release the resource of the brain (as automating everything that can be automated and solving the tricky problem of energy supply) for the part that can say "stop" subcortical monkey. By the way, the Christian idea of the posts is also about training the braking, the most important skill, a skill that pulls a person from a biological auto-causal chain reactions.
Why is it so hard to slow down? Imagine a rock rolling from the mountain: in the beginning of the slope it is still possible to stop, after almost impossible. Any reaction is the power to stop it need more power. Moreover, the energy from the braking you need to do something with. So you ride the bus home, the end of the day, the crowd, the fatigue, the clients were tortured, head once inadequate, and somebody next to you pushed you and said "Cho, walking funny, the place is small"? Automatic reaction – the anger, the stone has ALREADY started to go down. You not launched it, but then you have very little time to brake. "Sorry," almost incredible feat out of your lips. To answer means to multiply evil, wounding the offender, because he will have somewhere to containerwith, and judging from his behavior he hasn't. When no one is able to stop the quarrel develops into a fight and the body takes the hit, matter is destroyed to stop the evil.
From the very first second appearance in this world we need to do something with the energy released during the collision of our desires (or desire) with reality. Hungry newborn baby cries, as they get older he may have to POSTPONE Creek. And over time, a lot of things he will learn to tolerate and be postponed to a suitable time – hunger, trips to the toilet, sexual impulses. Actually, this is what Freud wrote, speaking about stages of development: oral, anal, genital – where in the body the desires that one learns to slow down.
What happens to the energy when braking? And again, think of Freud and his concept of ID – the unconscious image of a certain "container", one of whose functions is to store energy from braking unrealized desires. A newborn with containerpanel bad (but so it should be – this skill increases "outside mom", in contact with the environment) – he has all the impulses are immediately expressed in behavior, and then – the whole life training. Here only the training conditions are different.
An adult near the child it is his container "to put the troubles in the mother" means to give her another little container to develop normally without clogging his eyeballs. The child may much cry from crap and scratches to resort to mom's lap to have her container, put your important to him feelings he could not yet endure as an adult can't respond "well what are you crying like a little". That is why adults often childhood experiences seem to be nonsense, although it does not seem strange that a child can not afford to lift what can easily take up an adult.
The child puts the complexity into an adult. Unless, of course, the adult is where to put the... "He is guilty, where I climbed", "serves you right, you think better" or mother is simply not around. No one near. And then the pain is frozen. And it will be as a partisan in the trenches waiting in the wings – the war is over, and she suddenly appears out of nowhere with a grenade and shouting "die all". This is often a surprise to the man himself. Lots of studies indicate a high correlation of temper tantrums and difficult childhood.
A container filled with injuries like a freezer? Then the daily frustrations simply have nowhere to fit in behavior we are seeing is a person who is willing to burn to the ground with the staff alive cafe, where the waiter was not polite – he was not only nowhere to lay down a grudge, got a pebble still activates all accumulated over the life time and the REAL subjective experience of pain from harsh words like with a person has done something well, very scary. Hence, this asymmetry of the reaction. Translating into the language of neuroscience since merged neural circuit. People can then feel sorry and repent, but this does not prevent such reactions in the future.
In totalitarian States of the early separation from parents as if a part of the politics of education (see, in the same North Korea the way the system of education of children). In the Soviet Union in three months, a woman had to go to work, send their children to the nursery. In hospitals (read – with weak own resource) from a very young age – without a mother. This system cripples not only the child but also the parent, undermining even if biological attachment to offspring. Parent is physically and/or emotionally (closed container for a child) there, and all the burdens of reality, the child is forced to do something with. Or tomatisalat (all diseases of the body), or freeze up other times.
Frost neskondensirovannyh childhood injuries – the basis of any harassment and bullying.
Deviant child behavior. Problems with adopted children, which warn foster parents. High school students bullying younger, as once mocked them. Pedophiles often become victims of violence. The evil boss is usually the one who crawled on the career ladder from the very bottom and "everyone remembers". Army. Prison. Why would you do what was done to you, if you know HOW much IT HURTS? Because you (your neural chains) it seems that there is a chance to finally vent frozen pain. On someone who is weaker, and therefore will be FORCED to accept it – children, the elderly, the disabled, the mentally ill, animals... It is the temptation of the supermarket without protection – now everything is possible and nothing for you it will not. But this is only an illusion. The illusion of temporary relief. Pseudomorphism.
And so do traumatized children when they themselves become parents – that appeared dependent creature opens a portal to hell: it seems that the words themselves come to mind "I told you not to climb, what do you want", "I'm in a children's home will hand the bastard" "not the triangle is stupid and you're stupid". Child the fact of its existence makes the resource request, but it is not. There is only trauma and resentment.
As the first Christians went to slaughter to the blood thirsty crowd (became containers for hatred) and a child is born (though without his consent) becomes a lamb on the altar of parental trauma. He breaks through his appearance already flimsy dam restraining the turbulent river accumulated. In a society where legalized toxic attitude to children, such child does not cause problems in others – all have lived and live. This gives final absolution to violence in the family, in relation to their children. And then there is almost no chance to take it 200 milliseconds of the freedom of braking to stop the arm from the slap and the language from "why I just had a baby thing". Neither the resource nor the time nor the incentive to stop the pathological, but has already become too traditional means of communication with the child. The man is rolling on the track of neural circuits, losing what can be called free will.
It is often in the culture of turning the other cheek, that is to containerevent someone else's rage in itself, is considered a weakness. The one who forgives Lough. Who do not play the game "their own fault" — a coward and a weakling. Not to whine (that is, to Express the pain on the outside), people in the besieged Leningrad were dying of hunger, and you whine that the work problems, as if this man would stop to share the pain, the sacrifices will rise and happily healed. All these "the children in Africa are starving" — a rejection of containerbase, because their no place to put, where else is someone else's. However, forgiveness is not weakness, this is the most powerful force of all possible, something that is stronger than the power of automatic hatred. Forgiveness is when all your neurons are ready for destruction and you're 200 milliseconds withdraws the hand and fired into the air. To be able to forgive is a skill, which means he trains with the increase of the loads can move to new levels. First you learn to forgive friends, then enemies. 200 milliseconds for each approach in practice.
A container full of injuries and yet always predictable thing for manipulation. For example, a manipulative parent can easily deduce from itself is already an adult child, causing anger, resentment, irritation only one phrase like "And that when grandchildren will be, mother'll die soon, won't wait for you, they only think about themselves. What are you freaking out as always, what did I say. Oh, you childhood psycho". It'll take time to practice braking, which will look like a calm phrase "Mom, you're still a very young beauty, give me rather a sister or brother, I want to be babied!" or the more adventurous "Mom, I understand your anxiety, but now I have other plans for my body and my time."
And if for any reasons, the society concentrates a large number of people willing to respond to his injury is more a matter of technique to show them who you can attack. Moreover, they will adore the person who gave them this permission, it seems to them as a liberator from a personal hell. And it may be like at the family level (what disappointment feels brother from forgiveness of the father in the story of the prodigal son – who bad now that I was better?), at the level of individual groups (on the film "Scarecrow"), and global (dirty nation, backward population and so "they're not human let them hurt the beat" — a vivid example of the global epidemic of fatphobia wishes all die "overweight" from a heart attack/cancer/break stomach).
It is important to understand the ideological shell for hatred is always secondary, it is derivative, which is not always immediately visible to the original function. The kernel is broken personal container (and their amount in the population), which is also filled with raw waste – nematicide parents, violence in kindergarten, bullying at school and.... the temptation is impossible to resist, the temptation to lay down the pain in the other, assigned blame, especially when the lid of its container compromised situation – now he will receive from me...
The question is where to put the energy daily frustrations? Situational — it can be everything from sarcasm watching jokes stand-up comic on forbidden topics (which is of course public legalized aggression) before the evening training session of Boxing legalized (physical aggression).The freer social mores, the more safe methods of discharge of energy from braking – because of the many extra meaningless "no" again forced to slow down (wrong to divorce even if the husband has to look only a certain way no matter what it takes, on these topics one cannot speak, etc.).
But if it is a private container large enough operates more or less healthy way and environment is not overcome by horrors like wars, deaths of loved ones, violence and so on. And if the container global issues, then there is the question of therapy (and the therapist in fact the reserve container, operating according to certain rules and within a therapeutic relationship, taking things that are not required to take the people on a friendship or even a relationship), but for believers – the issue of religion, for in the words, "Come unto Me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." [Matt. 11:18] is the image of God, as an infinite container.
All of the above can not be solved here and now. It's a matter of time, but seeing as adequate parents becomes more like optional already to send their children to government institutions almost from birth, as you can stay with a child in the hospital and tradition of punitive medicine hotly debated and condemned, as it becomes acceptable to talk about the problems of parenthood aloud unbranded "tagemet not Noah" – it gives us all hope that there will be other times, woven from people with a more robust psyche.
I want to remind you that Christ called the cross — calling each to take out evil. It is against logic, against human customs and opinions, often contrary to what we were taught. "We preach Christ crucified – to the Jews a stumbling Greeks madness" [1 Cor. 1:22]
Is to love their children, despite the chorus of angry voices from his traumatic childhood and external review "don't take a hands — spoil", "what a sissy raise", "hit him properly, let him know", "tell him to hit back always." This is not to take revenge on someone who by all human standards this deserves revenge.
Also interesting: the Sense of justice: our little LIES to ourselves
Awareness. Mind. Good and Evil
They say that in the world there is no justice. Yes, but the world is Love, and Love is the greatest injustice. Not fair to help someone who needs like to be your enemy. Not fair to love someone who brings you pain. Not fair to do good and not to get recognition, but continue to do it. Not fair to give strangers hard-earned money to solve their problems. Not fair to risk my life for other people, bringing them out of the fire.
And I'd love to be the injustice a people have always found strength and a resource in themselves and in loved ones.published
Author: Julia Lapina
illustrations Igor Morski
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: www.facebook.com/psychology.lapina/posts/1907001759528069
Tags
See also
Daughter didn't love and a heavy burden of family secrets
Psychosomatic dental problems
Pain don't hurt other people
Lyudmila Petranovskaya: do Not wrap a tight loop of guilt and resentment
Parents were given: stop carry past grievances
Why girls are hysterical
3 powerful rules for the New year
12 ways to forgive the wrongs of their parents
No one is born evil, lazy or aggressive. Just have parents third ktegorii
