Lie to yourself, those who say if their suffering from excessive openness. They say open, they were, and betrayed them. Outdoor will not accept a betrayal of the others.Any mental suffering from closure. From selfishness, self-pity and indulgence, indulgence.Selfishness does not allow a person to open and keeps telling the owner things the opposite
: "look, you opened up, and they are bastards, don't go halfway, don't do what you want! Close them, let them deprived of you, you will feel like without you they will be bad."These children's thoughts get in the way to open gifts and benefits and are forced to suffer.
Here is a diagram, why do we choose suffering instead of a life full of enjoyment.
Man is born with a set of basic needs. In addition to the physical (eat, drink, breathe, keep the body clean and safety), there are needs to belong to your group (family) and unity.For simplicity, let's just say the demand for safety and unity forced to do opposite things.The need for security requires a person to keep their borders shut, and the need for unity, on the contrary, makes one open to others.
Ideally, our personal boundaries should be plastic and flexible, but in childhood we all experienced the trauma of separation from parents and experienced the shock of recognition of his own loneliness.Due to the fact that your personal boundaries have been violated, we were, huddled inside
in the fetal position, as did the 9 months before birth. But in real life we can't sit in this position, we need to go to school, to work, to do something. And we do the usual stuff, while in the case.
Crowded, uncomfortable, but I think that it is safe.
Everything else,the older we get, the more shows itself, the need for unity with others. We want love, support, but even more we want security.
Throwing from the need to open up to someone to the children's desire to protect themselves cause suffering. All suffering is fear that security will be breached.How to simultaneously and open up to someone and feel that you are not hurt?
Need to grow up. This means that we need to be aware of their children's beliefs, which are the cause of the current suffering and cause you to live in the old boundaries of comfort.
Beliefs are taken to years old, the most terrible and fatal. They break and distort the lives of adults who have long remember something and can't, what they invented grudnichkovye age.
Who would have thought that children's phrase: "when I die I will spare you," said an offended child, can lead to poverty, loneliness or even be the cause of deadly diseases.All the suffering invented by the child
. Closed, still not recovered from the shock of recognition of his own loneliness. But consider themselves open and giving.
It is not necessary to lie to yourself.
How to check if you're lying to yourself or not? Very simple: according to the results of his life. If you are not satisfied with something is the mental discomfort, you lie to yourself.
ALWAYS pay attention to your premonitions!To hear the voice of your soul
Emotional pain will continue to increase, so that you finally realized the lies and started to investigate its causes.How to understand what causes worked? You want unity with the world, with others, with the Creator.
And most importantly, you want to be
like the Creator — that is something to give to people