Don't need children to "love"

To talk about love, a parent or some other bad habit. Similarly, we can argue about the meaning of life in the period of global crisis. It's all empty, a fiction, an illusion — a beautiful tale that allows you to bury your head in the sand for all under the specious pretext.

Love that is not expressed in actual behavior, love is not. And in fact, you notice that the biggest fans speculate about the beautiful feelings, in their behaviour, a drop of love to demonstrate is just not capable of.

Just do not confuse the expression of love with gifts on 14 February and other ostentatious signs of attention — it's just regulated the rituals of courtship, not expression of love. And coffee in bed is not love. And the promise to give life for each other — this is not love. And all the warm/passionate — hell isn't love either.

Don't need "love" — learn just to be good to another person.

It will be much more valuable than beautiful love words, and mutual destruction in daily actions. Do not attempt to achieve an abstract ideal, which still does not know — make something simple, but specific.

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Love is too high to afford for her to swing. Do not deceive yourself. To love the only person capable of past a very long way. And even they are not about his love to talk or someone to prove it in words, because words are not the tool which can Express, what to Express.

Love is one of those unnecessary entities, so that not recommended to produce the old man Occam.

What parental love is and if they need the most love, which is so often flaunt "smart but reasonable" parents?

The child needs healthy communication, not love. Love is too ephemeral a thing to a child could need it — he just does not know what this love is. That's about a rumbling in the belly, he knows — then he did not need to explain.

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Communication, on the other hand, is very concrete, the very experience which allows the child to build an adequate opinion of himself and his place among other people. Without adequate good communication, the child is confused.

The formation of self-perception of the child based on how he is treated by others. The child has no personality as long as the people around him did not show his relation to him. The primary identity of the child consists entirely of what he is thinking.

The ego of the child is a projection of the parents and other people at the small creature, which get in the way. Not God and not nature create consciousness — his create parents with your attitude and upbringing. And if the parents lie to themselves about love and other lofty things, then the child is in a very difficult position. Only yet does not know about this, because he accepts everything at face value (and parents love that child believes every false word).

In the first years of life the child does not have his I — myself he belongs exclusively as an observer, and from time to time in General talks about himself in the third person. And when he "speaks", he speaks not on his own behalf, not his own opinion — he repeats the opinion of the parents.

Parents said "James — bad" and Serge, which, as an Autonomous personality, does not yet exist, says — "Aha! Sergei was so bad... we know." Mind you, the child repeats his parents, but he still says about himself, for him "Sergei" is a separate entity. He and "James" is not the same thing.

So at the Foundation of his personality laid the bricks of what he learned about himself from others. But parents are usually pretty lousy judge to issue any appropriate judgment about the child. Therefore the opinion of the child about himself from the beginning, it turns out very distorted.

And later, when memory begins to collect in the head is more or less complete image of the personality of this virtual "Seryozha" is a quantum leap of consciousness and a child of the "observer Sergei" he becomes it "is".

Now it is with full confidence can say about themselves "I am bad". He has no idea why he is bad and that generally it is not so, but it does not occur for this reason and doubt.

Now he's no longer an impartial bystander, now he assembled together a set of conflicting parental opinions.

From the comprehensive Self, the focus of awareness shifted into the Procrustean bed of Ego and artificially occurring under the pressure of parenting. Remember the Tao, which is being named, it ceases to be the true Tao? Now, our familiar and beloved Ego — this is named Tao.

Unfortunately, this condition, when the center of personality shifts in the pole of the Ego-complex, is considered the greatest achievement of man, which essentially distinguishes him from the animals. But by the standards of nature, is not an achievement, but a kind of regression. A selfish mind must be a transitional stage, but the man gets stuck in it for life and sincerely proud of his madness.

So, love and children. Don't need children to love. Learn about them well taken care of and, if is possible for you, just have fun. No need to expose children to his fictional love, just be there and try not to interfere with a little more consciousness to grow in a natural way. published

Author: Oleg Satov



Source: satway.ru/blog/to-love-or-not-to-love/

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