Unhappy daughter of a perfect mother

"I really wanted that house was a stronghold of good, comfortable, loving for children. They are not required "to obey", but to be able to listen to reason and understand. Tirelessly and patiently explained, if "it is bad", "right" and why. And my daughter has grown the joy of the people: honest, fair, good, good.

And suddenly, like a bolt from the blue — at the age of 28 the revolt of the type "do not want to be good! I want to live as I want and do what you want!". Somewhere climbed selfishness and even anger, God bless him, if only to mom — to the whole world, which dares to dictate what is "wrong". The result is a broken marriage with a loving kind husband, attempted second marriage plunged into depression and mental discord at the moment.

After all the moral values I wanted to convey to children not in order, what would the neighbors say "what nice children," and in order to be able in adult life to be happy — with friends, with spouses, with their children. And the daughter is unhappy. Something I was doing wrong. If I can just figure. "



I think you are cheating ourselves: the moral values is just the sort of thing that is designed to provide high social evaluation ("what her kids are great!") for refusing to personal happiness.


The problem is that society do not care about the happiness of each individual.

Happiness — it is everyone has their own individual. To be happy, man needs first of all to understand their desires and dare to live your own life. It is not always easy to understand what you want for you — and find a constructive way to do it. Not "the joy of the people", and to the delight of myself.


...When every child "I want" is insinuating the objection of the mother "as necessary" as a result of a heap of logical reasons why so the child just has no chance to be aware of and to independently control their desires, and to take responsibility for their implementation themselves. Quite naturally, in this case, age comes alone: having escaped finally from the parent wing, the daughter begins to behave like a child of five, not realizing the consequences of their actions. The former Victim becomes a Persecutor, taken from somewhere in the selfishness and even anger. Such are the laws of the genre.

Fortunately, she's only 28 and she still may be able to learn to be happy, and to build a life as you want for her — in the end, divorce husband is not the end of life. For example, now hardly anyone even remembers that in his youth Katharine Hepburn was also married. She wrote in his memoirs:


"I behaved towards Laddie like an absolute pig. And he was an angel."


But, nevertheless, on account of its 12 Oscar nominations, it was the greatest American actress died rich and famous in 96 years. I'm not ready to say whether she was happy, but definitely this life should not regret.


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Unfortunately, the only help that can have a mother in this situation is to leave all your ideas about what should be the happiness of his daughter, and get on with my life. Think what you would want for itself. I know it's hard when a mother's heart is torn in fear that her daughter will make a mistake... But there is no other way how to compress a teeth and, while we are not talking about the serious threat to life or health, not to interfere in his daughter's life.published


Author: Olga Podolskaya


Source: www.nashideti.site/?p=6634


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